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Welcome to the show that's all about staying up-to-date on advancements in tech.

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It won't stop AI from taking over, but at least we'll know when to start helplessly watching as it all happens.

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Where's the popcorn? Google held their annual I.O. developer conference today and made several announcements related to AI.

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And while we've all memed about Google getting leapfrogged by everyone from open AI to your jobless uncle in his basement,

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Google spent some time talking about how to prevent AI from ruining everything.

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Something that sounds kind of important? Google will be launching Bard in 180 countries, which is basically all the ones that matter.

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Sorry North Korea and the Vatican. In your face, principality of ceilings.

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Google also showed off AI integrations in its entire workplace suite.

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So you'll soon be able to use text prompts to draft emails,

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draft data tables, generate visuals for slideshows, and all kinds of boring work stuff you don't want to do.

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The future is here, and for some reason it still involves an ungodly number of memos and spreadsheets.

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I thought we would have dealt with that by now.

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Google has made substantial improvements to Vertex, its personalized AI product for corporations,

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and even teased a version for individual users called Project Tailwind.

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Is that a reference to that cool animated series? That's tailspin.

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Project Tailwind is a notebook that learns from your documents and acts as a tutor and research assistant.

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Again, that sounds cool. But as I alluded to earlier, a major in emphasis of the announcement was Google's focus on an ethical approach to AI,

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including integrated tools to help users spot and contextualize online misinformation,

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metadata tagging for AI images, and guardrails against undisclosed deepfakes.

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Which sounds genuinely good?

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What is this strange emotion about the future of technology?

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Hope? Probably hardburn. In terms of Google's hardware announcements, it's all pixels all day.

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Oddly, they spend more time discussing a feature that lets you make the poop emoji into your phone's wallpaper

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than they did talking about the Pixel 7a. Because, bluntly, it's one of Google's best-selling product lines, and they already know we're going to buy it.

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What most people are probably not going to buy is the much-anticipated Pixel Fold, which starts at $1,800.

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That's a lot of money to pay for a phone whose primary features include 300 increase in breakability

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and the option to take a selfie with the back camera. It's pros and cons. They're so... it's... it's hard.

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Although, it's important to point out, Google says the Pixel Fold has the best foldable camera system,

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with the best zoom on a foldable, which is also the thinnest foldable on the market.

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All claims that we'll have to wait until June to verify. So, for now, all we can do is take them at face value.

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It's a pretty face. It's probably true. Lastly, Google showed off the new 11-inch Pixel Tablet, which can be set to HUB mode

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and double as a Nest Hub when you pop it on the included magnetic charging dock.

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It's got a magnet in it. It's also got Chromecast built in so you can cast your phone to your tablet,

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and then, presumably, you can cast from your tablet to your TV.

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And maybe, if you're lucky, cast back from your TV onto your phone.

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It's a paradox! And that's how I spent my Saturday.

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The tablet's only $4.99, so I suggest buying three and taping them together for a super-duper

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extra-big Pixel Fold, just an idea. And the Indian government has apparently banned 14 messaging apps,

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many of them open source, citing national security concerns.

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Specifically, that concern is the possibility that separatist insurgents in the Jammu and

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Kashmir regions are using them to communicate. I know I said those wrong.

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The Indian government has long restricted these same regions to only 2G cell service

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on the same grounds of restricting separatist organization efforts.

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Now, as your friendly neighborhood Canadian tech reporters, we're not going to comment on the legitimacy of the Indian government's actions.

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We will, however, point out that there was a natural disaster somewhere in India

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on 88% of the days in the first nine months of last year,

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and that shutting off nearly every single accessible form of communication to the general public

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is very likely to lead to people not existing anymore.

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Quick bits are like a Disneyland day pass, because you only get to go on your five favorite rides,

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and there's some guy who keeps talking the whole time. Am I the guy?

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Are you the guy? Fossil is dropping support for watches made by Misfit,

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the company Fossil acquired in 2015. Users can no longer log into the companion app or website,

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meaning they can't even set the time, making it less a watch and more like an unnecessarily expensive bracelet.

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It's so pretty! Which some people buy. Fossil didn't even announce anything,

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and users who contacted customer service were only offered a 30% discount to buy a Fossil watch,

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which is amazing, considering that you can get a 25% discount just by signing up for their email.

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Oh, did I say amazing? I meant insulting.

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Spotify purged thousands of AI-generated songs from its platform,

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though not because they embarrassed Drake by sounding better than anything he's released in years.

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Oh! Who wrote that?

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Me. That was nice. Better than Drake.

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The songs in question were made by a proprietary AI startup called Bumi,

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Universal Music accused some songs of using bots to inflate audience numbers,

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and Spotify eventually reinstated the songs, which was a massive release to tens of AI music enjoyers.

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What a relief. There are dozens of us!

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Roku, the We Have Android TV at home company,

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announced a home security starter kit today that costs only $100.

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Though it doesn't include cameras, it does include two entry sensors and a hub with a built-in siren,

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which is almost as good. Are you trying to seduce me?

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The company also announced Roku OS integration so that if you do buy a camera,

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you can watch it from the comfort of your Roku TV, which is perfect for when you've already curled up in a blanket

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and would literally rather die than leave your warmth cocoon

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to get up and do a 360 sweep with your actual eyes. Researchers in Italy have developed what they're calling

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the world's first fully edible battery, for some reason.

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What, you've never heard of a potato? That's so embarrassing.

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But unlike a potato, this battery is rechargeable,

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much smaller and relatively low carb. Some of the components include edible seaweed,

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activated charcoal, and beeswax.

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Yum, yum, yum. In the future, technologies like this could be used in toys for children.

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Since for years, swallowing batteries has been the biggest fad diet amongst rich, up-suburban babies.

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Oh no. And customs officials in Hong Kong have arrested two men

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for suspected smuggling after being caught hauling 70 GPUs

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and more importantly, over 600 pounds of live lobsters.

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Authorities claim that the combined value of silicon and shellfish

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was worth over $76,000, which is surprising

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because the GPUs are nearly a decade old and only retail for $160 each.

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And the lobsters don't even support ray tracing. But you should support us emotionally by tuning back in on Friday.

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For the price of just eight minutes, you can prevent tech news hosts from crying on camera.