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The things life throws at you sometimes. Triumphs, betrayals, literal tons of tech news.

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It can be a lot, but don't worry, cause I'm here to add more of that last one to the pile.

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You're strong, you can take it. Microsoft has apparently had enough

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of being called microslop and has officially banned the word

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from the official co-pilot discord server.

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Naturally, this went as well as you could probably expect

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after the filter went live, users responded with the maturity of,

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well discord users and flooded the chat with creative variants of the Microsoft name

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like microslop with a zero or sloppy soft,

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which was mine, it came in college. A day later, the constant turmoil eventually led

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to the server's moderators disabling message history

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and restricting posting altogether. What was Microsoft's strategy here?

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Fixed co-pilots reputation by telling their most online users exactly which words

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they aren't allowed to say, they didn't have loves that.

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Maybe CEO Sacha Nadella was just grumpy that apparently no one had listened

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to his blog post from December, urging us to move past the idea

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of slop versus sophistication. He had a point, 10 years from now,

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you're gonna feel pretty foolish when you're slurping happily from the trough

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with all the other piggies. So stop calling it slop, investors can hear you.

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The Mobile World Congress kicked off today in Barcelona featuring a surprise guest,

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the new iPhone 17E just announced by Apple.

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They almost never participate in big tech conferences. The entire court is speculating that it's simply a ruse

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to impress the Duke's fair cousin. Muriel?

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Apple has finally fixed the largest complaint budget buyers had with a 16E

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by equipping the 17E with MagSafe. They also doubled the base storage to 256 gigabytes

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while maintaining the 599 price point. They're so good to us.

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Apple has also bumped the chip in the iPad Air

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from an M3 to an M4 while keeping its $600 MSRP,

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128 gigabytes of base storage and 12 gigabytes of RAM,

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which is so exciting. You'll probably want to not pre-order it on March 4th

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because it hit shelves on March 11th.

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Don't do it, not even one. Don't even line up.

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Apple's sudden appearance had the Android phones a little bit flustered, but Xiaomi still managed

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to show off the Leica Lights phone 17 Ultra

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blurring the line between phone and DSLR camera

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by putting a big circle on the back. My brain is confused.

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What is it? Motorola showed off the Razer Fold,

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its first book-style foldable and intriguingly, an enterprise-focused partnership

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with the GrapheneOS Foundation. You know, the privacy-focused Android fork

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you can already install yourself, but now it will come in a suit,

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maybe made of a single layer of carbon atoms.

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You never know what these guys, but phones gotta connect somehow, so it's a good thing that Qualcomm

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announced their next-gen modem, which supports native 5G over satellite.

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And I'm just happy this wasn't a thing back in the year 2000, or Castaway starring Tom Hanks.

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Would've been a terrible film. Over immediately. But if you thought MWC was just for, you know,

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mobiles, you clearly underestimated just how much R&D money these companies

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leave completely unsupervised. Xiaomi unveiled the Vision GT electric supercar concept,

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which is gonna be in the Gran Turismo racing game.

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You guys? I can't wait. Meanwhile, Lenovo brought enough concepts to Barcelona

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to fill a whole separate convention center. First, they showed off a concept for the Legion Go Fold,

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a foldable Windows gaming handheld, because the one thing missing

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from your portable Steam library is a mechanical hinge, an inevitable repair bill.

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Lenovo also showed off a Thinkbook modular AI PC concept,

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the result of a framework laptop and an ASUS ZenBook Duo having a baby

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in the worst way you can imagine. I didn't do it.

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It's essentially a system of magnetic modular screens,

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keyboards, accessories, and ports, so you can build the laptop you want,

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then swap out anything on the fly, which is genuinely awesome.

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I make jokes. It's awesome. It's such a great concept that I can't wait

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to never be able to buy it, but it wouldn't be a tech event without at least one robot.

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Lenovo explored the concept for a desktop AI workmate

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that is literally a robot ARM with puppy dog eyes.

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Look at his little face. He wants to help you optimize your spreadsheets.

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And if that wasn't enough robotics for you, Honor unveiled its robot phone,

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a futuristic device sporting a little motorized robotic gimbal ARM right on the back.

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Not only does this 200 megapixel mechanical limb offer cinematic video stabilization

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and autonomous subject tracking, but it physically nods, shakes his head,

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and dances to music, which it did alongside Honor's actual robot

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backed by a full dance crew. It's hard to be mad at the inevitable robot uprising

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when it starts with a perfectly choreographed underground Berlin style dad session.

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Still, I bet it couldn't go toe to toe with our sponsors.

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I know that was a lot of tech news to take in just now, but I have wonderful news.

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There's still five more quick bits and you gotta finish them all.

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I know you can do it. There's gonna be a treat after.

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Open wide. AMD is launching its Ryzen AI 400 Pro series desktop CPUs,

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which confusingly are replacing the Ryzen 8000G

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lineup, but we're far beyond any of these chip names making any sense at this point.

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There are six new AIM-5 processors that pair Zen 5 CPU cores with Arduino 3.5 integrated graphics

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and also an NPU, I guess.

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These new chips are basically upgraded laptop CPUs meant for OEMs and business PCs.

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At least with the new NPU, you won't get too hot and sweaty in the sheets

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with co-pilot trying to work out naming conventions.

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Put that robot ARM to good use. Spreadsheets. Seems like everyone just found out

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about California's Digital Age Assurance Act passed in October 2025 mandating all operating systems,

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including Linux and SteamOS to ask for your age during setup by January 1st, 2027.

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The OS will send your age signal to apps so they know which content to flag as restricted,

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but despite the non-compliance fines that can run up to $7,500,

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age setup is completely self-reported. No photo ID upload required.

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It's foolproof. So prepare for a shocking demographic shift

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of Linux users magically born on January 1st, 1900,

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which is exactly how old I feel when a youth mentions jester maxing or mogging.

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YouTube is testing yet another AI feature for shorts.

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All your favorite things in one story. This time, it's ad object,

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which allows users to insert items into a scene and reimagine, which can generate video

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from a single frame of a different short, whether it's yours or someone else's, do ours, do it.

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Don't want your likeness to be used in fever dreams created by strangers, I do.

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You can opt out, I won't, but that disables all regular remixing on your channel.

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And if I can't remix other people's shorts, what is there even to post there?

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Original content. Post something so I can post it. A new machine from Nobel Prize women chemist, Omar Yagi,

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can pull up to 1,000 liters of drinkable water per day

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straight out of your butt. So, straight out of desert air,

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even in humidity as low as 20%, stop laughing Riley.

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The shipping container size system uses special materials called metal organic frameworks,

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basically ultra porous molecular sponges

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that grab water vapor from the air and release it when heated by sunlight.

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It can run off grid using just wind and solar energy,

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meaning remote communities could literally generate water from thin air.

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I guess the only question is, can we get an invite to the inaugural pool party?

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Not you, you've been rude. This pool is dry.

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And a developer named Victor Larios has recreated a 1994 era Linux desktop environment

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that runs in your browser, complete with a recreation of the classic CDE interface

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and Eximax text editor, and in true 90s fashion, Netscape Navigator.

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The reports say it's about as stable as Linux. I mean, as stable as you'd expect

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for something pretending to be three decades old. The open source project runs as a modern web app,

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though reports say it's about as stable as you'd expect for something pretending to be three decades old.

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You can also download it from GitHub and run it locally, if you want to.

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Although, I'm not totally sure why you would, although you're a Linux user.

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So it might make sense. Now we just needed to run Doom.

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After all, 94 was the year the game was ported to Linux.

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Fun fact, I knew that and you didn't. I also know you're gonna come back here on Wednesday

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for more tech news because you're a fortuitous person.

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You have what it takes to get hit with everything Life throws at ya and keeps standing, stand tall, player.

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And you just might shoot the high score. What am I saying?

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There's so many different ways to take this. We're gonna make it to championships.

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Okay.