Look, in tech news and in life, you can't control leaks, trust me, I've tried.
We're not sure if all the leaks forced Nintendo to finally reveal the Switch 2 yesterday in
a 2 minute video, but given that it, like the leaks, focused almost entirely on the
console's physical design, the reveal gave off some clear vibes of fine, here, now shut
up, shut up, stop.
The video confirmed many previously leaked details, like the adjustable kickstand, bigger
joy-cons with a mysterious extra button, and even pretty clearly hinted at the rumored
mouse mode, with the cons clicking into flat-sided attachments and gliding along a surface with
wrist straps trailing behind like mouse tails, Nintendo Switch Master Rays, boom, headshots
for days, lacking actual specs.
As far as technical calculates, we're looking at maybe a 7.9 inch screen with a 33% bigger
body than the Switch 1, and yeah, that about matches my own estimates.
Nintendo promised to host a direct with more info on April 2nd, perhaps because they've
got lots of prep to do. The Switch 1 sort of kicked off the whole handheld craze, but now the Switch 2 has to deal with
a market full of Steam Deco likes. Plus, Nintendo has to convince people to be okay with the way Donkey Kong looks now,
and the fact that their top IP lawyer admitted that emulators are technically legal.
You can't sue anyone anymore, you said it! Meanwhile, the US Supreme Court said it is upholding the federal law that would ban
TikTok from the country on Sunday unless China-based parent company ByteDance sells the app.
Prior to the ruling, TikTok said it's preparing to shut down on Sunday.
So what will actually happen is still up in the air. Sunday is President Biden's last day in office, and he said he will leave TikTok's fate
in President Trump's capable, orange-ish hands, although it's not clear if Biden knew where
he was at the time. See, I made a joke about both, so it's okay.
Trump may try to save TikTok following a jovial phone chat with Chinese President Xi Jinping,
but who knows? He'll have to think about whether he wants more Chinese hackers breaking into computers
like they did to Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, probably because she couldn't stop
doom-scrolling TikToks of custom slime creations.
She's a freak! Like you and me! She and a flood of other TikTokers, some of whom signed up for the even more Chinese
app Xiaohuang Xu, aka Red Note, specifically so the CCP can get their data, may be bothering
its existing user base. The app reportedly plans to segregate accounts with China-based IP addresses from those in
the US, which is sad for Chinese Americans and others who use the app because it's Chinese.
Meanwhile, American social apps are trying to attract the TikTok refugees, with Substack
straight up offering $25,000 in cash for the most popular TikTok video convincing users
to join Substack. Well they'll probably just get there and start poking around like, you know.
Um, do you have any Chinese articles?
You don't even read Chinese! Oh, I like the way it looks!
Reviews are up for Intel's second battlemage-based ARC graphics card, the B570, and so far,
the consensus is with an MSRP of 220 USD, 10 gigs of VRAM, and in general, slightly diminished
specs across the board compared to the B580, it's like a less powerful version of the
B580. It's not an RTX 5090, I don't know why you think that.
As originally discovered by hardware canucks and expanded upon by hardware unboxed, both
of Intel's new cards have worse than expected performance on some older chipsets, but overall,
the B570 can serve as a less powerful alternative to the RTX 4060, particularly at 1440p.
So when is AMD gonna stop dragging its feet and give us more details about that RX 9070
and 9070XT they announced at CES?
You know, the ones with the bad name, shame on you AMD, the shame bad.
I mean, I mean, Momomo on Twitter is leaking the full specs, and the cards are reportedly
already in stock at European retailers. AMD, this is getting a little ridiculous.
Just come out from behind the, we can all see you hiding there.
Uh-oh, I tried to hold the quick bits in, but no luck, here they come, ooooh, cuz they're
leaking. Okay, Microsoft has clarified that blog post from Wednesday about the free upgrade to Windows
11 going away. It was just a funny joke, it's not going away.
In fact, they want you to upgrade so bad they're now forcing Windows 11 users to update to
the infamously bug-ridden version 24H2.
You can postpone for a week, but that's it. Microsoft is also making the decision for you to hike the price of Microsoft 365, aka
Office, personal and family plans by three bucks a month.
But don't worry, you get co-pilot integration for your trouble, so right there in word,
you can ask it to create recipes instantly that authentically taste exactly like something
thought up by a machine with no taste bud. Do you like it?
SpaceX's massive Starship rocket experienced a rapid, unscheduled disassembly during
its latest test flight on Thursday, forcing aircraft to divert their flight paths, but
leading to some spectacular footage of flaming debris.
Here, this one's a better view, plus the guy tagged TMZ.
What are they gonna do? What? TMZ emergency squad, roll out!
On the plus side, SpaceX did catch the Starship's booster for the second time, hours after
Blue Origin, owned by rival billionaire Jeff Bezos, to Elon Musk, I just realized I didn't
even say his name. He successfully achieved orbit for the first time with its new Glenn rocket, and those
two are gonna have so much fun together up there, and that's what's important.
Apple is pausing AI-generated notification summaries in the latest iOS 18.3 beta after
numerous complaints from users and the press about those summaries sometimes being completely
inaccurate, which is very much a you had one job situation.
Apple wants to fix the feature, but now I'm wondering how the AI will summarize all the
articles about this. Apple pausing AI summaries, wait that's me, no!
The world's largest battery power plant erupted into flames Thursday afternoon, causing evacuations
of the surrounding area, which is known as Monterey County, California.
Really? Isn't it someone else's turn to have a fire?
What caused it is unclear, although the batteries were lithium based, so someone may just have
been poking around with something sharp, just wanted to see what's inside.
And the iPhone Air and Samsung Galaxy Slim are arriving later this year, and regular Ozympic
might not be enough. Good thing a new weight loss drug is on the way.
That's right, it's SUPER Ozympic! Or at least that's what Gizmodo called it in their report on drugmaker Novo Nordisk's
findings showing study participants losing weight faster than vanilla Ozympic when given
a higher dose. Fascinating results.
So you're going to want to get your soon to be bony hands on this if you're buying
one of these thin phones. The effect we're going for with the arms is bat wings, okay?
It's so in right now. And I'm so into the idea of you coming back here on Monday for more tech news.
Just imagine you there, me here, basically the same as this, but again, oh wow.