I can't get enough of that tech news.
You can never get enough.
I'm sorry, that was too much. Microsoft is reportedly scaling back its internal sales growth targets for some of its newer
AI tools after slower than expected adoption by customers, according to internal sources
who spoke with the information. Several Azure sales teams missed aggressive quotas last fiscal year, prompting the company
to quietly relax growth expectations for certain AI products, as enterprise customers pushed
back on paying for agents whose returns they said were hard to measure.
However, after a few outlets picked up the story, Microsoft told Futurism that the initial
reports inaccurately combine growth and sales quotas, insisting that AI sales targets were
never lowered, even as internal adjustments suggest expectations are being reset behind
the scenes. So maybe tons of people love paying for Copilot, and for everyone who doesn't, great news.
The newest update for LGTV's Bakes Copilot directly into the home screen.
And while it can be hidden, there's no option to uninstall.
Because nothing complements your movie-watching experience, like another button you'll never
click on. It's no wonder people are building custom tools that get rid of all the AI features
in Windows 11. This isn't an endorsement, by the way. We don't know if this tool is malware.
It's just an example. People want AI removal tools because the world is turning to slop.
Which is the 2025 Merriam-Webster word of the year.
Maybe this is God's way of answering our prayers. Dear God, please bring back Clippy and smite this Mico-Ai-Miko-Ai-Baby-Blob thing.
I wish to see its face no more.
You got it. The RAM apocalypse continues, as several companies have announced a new round of price increases,
including Framework, which is increasing the price of its laptop DDR5 kits by 50% and Dell,
which will be raising the prices of their enterprise PC products from 10% to 30%, depending.
Framework says they solemnly do pledge to stay transparent, only raising prices to cover
real cost increases and lowering them again if costs fall.
But I don't know. They are a for-profit company. I'm not going to hold my breath for that.
Linus is invested in them. I am only invested in having a good time.
Meanwhile, Dell and Lenovo are reportedly considering limiting their mid-range laptops
to just 8GB of DDR5 RAM. I thought we were living in a 16 to 32GB era, but maybe this will force software developers
to make less memory-hungry products? Or maybe you're just going to get a worse laptop for your money.
Probably that one. But wait, there's more! According to YouTuber MorsLawIsDead, Samsung is winding down production of cheaper SATA
SSDs next year to focus on pricier memory and storage for AI data centers, which as
these kind of moves often do, could mean fewer options on the market and even higher prices
for regular consumers. Don't be sad, okay?
Think about how happy Samsung's shareholders are going to be.
Imagine hearing the laughter of children, but they're grown up and spending most of
their time on their ketamine yacht when they should be spending time with our sponsor.
They're great! I'm referring to the quick bits, of course.
iRobot, the maker of the Roomba robot vacuum, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and agreed
to be bought out by its main Chinese manufacturer, Pisia Robotics.
That's gotta be what it is. Or, in their own robotic words, iRobot announces strategic transaction to drive long-term growth
plan. Much clearer. Why didn't we say that first?
The deal comes after years of mounting debt, stiff competition, and a failed Amazon acquisition,
and will take iRobot private under Pisia through a court-supervised restructuring expected
to finish by early 2026. I don't think I'm saying Pisia right, but here we are.
But at least app support and product services will continue as usual.
So don't worry, not much is changing for all you Roombaddies, Roomballers.
We looked into it, and the Roomba doesn't appear to have a fan club with a cute name
for me to reference in a joke here, which seems like a real missed opportunity. What are you guys doing?
Google's doing their favorite thing in shutting down features. This time, they're axing the dark web data leak reports feature for Google One subscribers,
which will have all of its data deleted by February. Apparently, feedback showed that this feature didn't really help users act on leaks, so
Google's just going back to saying, oh, you want security?
Just turn on two-factor authentication. Why haven't you turned on two-factor authentication yet?
What's wrong with you? Google has also locked the standard continued conversation feature, which allows you to
keep talking to your smart device without saying, hey, Google, every three seconds,
sorry. Behind a 10 bucks a month Google Home premium subscription.
This weekend, I couldn't even get Gemini to play a Spotify song, something Google Assistant
handled fine. Can't even play Spotify? This is hell.
This is the bad place. An Intel Panther Lake chip was spotted running in a 1x player handheld thanks to Elite Furmark
Run. The chip was a Core Ultra 5 338H with an integrated Intel ARC B370 GPU, and it scored 2,383 points,
roughly GeForce GTX 1060 level, although Furmark is less of a gaming benchmark and more of
a stress test, so let's not write Panther Lake off just yet.
That's for later. If you want to feel excited about Intel, however misguided that may be, check out this now
deleted reply tweet from the official Intel gaming account, seemingly confirming the rumored
ARC B770. They say they're thrilled that this fan is pumped about the B770, making sure to also
mention the other two things the fan was pumped about as well, and throw in some friendly
emojis. I'm pretty sure this is an AI.
It's a bot reply. The B770 is canceled, everyone.
An AI has revealed it's using its codex coding agent to help improve its codex coding agent.
The system can reportedly monitor its own training runs, and, when prompted, decide what code
changes to make next, meaning this AI has taken another step towards a self-improving
singularity situation.
Although the nerds told it to do that, so don't panic yet. The nerds at Google DeepMind also announced its first automated research lab in the UK,
where a blend of AI systems and robotics in the facility will, I guess, automatically
make scientific discoveries in material science.
Here's hoping they come up with something good. I'm gonna go spend the week on the very fun yacht we talked about earlier.
Oh, but first, the US government has launched a new US tech force to rapidly recruit skilled
tech workers into the federal government. The plan is to bring in a thousand engineers, data scientists, and developers for two-year
stints and have them work on what the government is calling the world's most complex and difficult
problems. Doing IT for government people.
Problems which somehow have rapidly sprung up after the government laid off all of those
tech workers that it laid off earlier this year. Critics warn the program could pose serious conflicts of interest since many recruits
are expected to come directly from major tech companies where they may return after two
years of accessing all kinds of juicy government data.
If only there was some way to keep them focused on what really matters.
Enter the Stanford researchers who developed this audio shield system.
It helps people with ADHD focus by amplifying the sounds of everyday tasks instead of blocking
them out. The wearable device uses microphones and earbuds to turn actions like typing, washing hands,
or handling objects into real-time audio cues that they say will boost mindfulness and attention
while you're doing stuff. Basically, it's like a hearing aid. It just makes everything louder.
In early studies, users stayed on tasks longer and reported higher focus.
So next time a loud talker is distracting you from your work, don't tell them to keep
it down. Tell them to turn that shit up. It might just change your life.
And so we'll come back this Wednesday for more tech news.
In the meantime, I've got a wicked craving for a bowl of cereal.
It's magically delicious, hopefully. There's gotta be some around here somewhere.
I'll just follow my nose. So we can remember all that stuff?