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Hey guys, I'm Riley. I go on the internet where tech news

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gonna make me lose my mind up in here, up in here, so you don't have to.

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Apple finally launched the Vision Pro, and while even the most positive reviews

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from media outlets earlier this week had a tinge of cynicism, early impressions from customers

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who just got their $3,500 headsets for the first time

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are mostly positive in an uplifting example

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of post-purchase rationalization. My fit, why?

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My cost, sunken. After all, they're now using what Tim Cook called

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tomorrow's technology today, a phrase rendered false as soon as it's uttered,

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and which also doesn't explain why the Vision Pro's persona avatars

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look so much worse than Meta's photorealistic codec avatars.

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Yeah, yeah, those aren't available yet on Quest, but the demos look so much better, okay?

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Just let me have this. Speaking of which, Meta took the opportunity to piggyback off the Vision Pro launch

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with an update for their Quest headsets. You know, the ones that are a fraction of the cost.

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The Quest 2, 3, and Pro now support playing back stereoscopic spatial video

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recorded on an iPhone 15 Pro or Pro Max,

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something Apple may regard as morally wrong, and there's a couple new pinch gestures

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because Apple's patent on basic human hand stuff fell through.

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The Quests can also now use game pads in the browser for cloud gaming,

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but on the other hand, the Vision Pro now has an unofficial YouTube app

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thanks to Christian Selig, the developer of the Apollo Reddit app.

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And no, those two things aren't related, like this segue to our next topic, AI.

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AI News is a dime a dozen these days, but Google, Amazon, and actually Apple

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made some noteworthy announcements this week. Google's barred chatbot can now use

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the tech giant's own Imogen 2 model to generate images,

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although it declined to generate an image for CNET's article on this story,

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but did generate an image of itself as a blonde cyborg,

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so thanks for that. This tech is gonna change everything.

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The other future. Google is also adding generative AI chat to maps,

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which looks like a genuinely useful way to get info about a place that doesn't involve

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digging through an endless slideshow of photos, as long as that info isn't hallucinated nonsense,

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causing you to show up to an Indian restaurant in a sombrero.

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But at that point, the wrong restaurant thing is the least of your problems. I just love the culture.

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Meanwhile, Amazon announced Rufus, a chatbot rolling out in beta

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that will help customers shop on the platform, overrun by products named,

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I cannot fulfill this request, it goes against open AI use policy.

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Yeah, AI stuff is still a mess, but that's only because Apple hasn't come in

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to fix it yet. That all changes this year, according to Tim Cook himself.

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During the company's earnings call yesterday, Tim said they're putting a tremendous amount

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of time and effort into AI, and they're excited to share the details later this year.

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Now, he's either talking about the company's research, getting LLMs running on iPhone hardware,

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or an Android version of you that will treat your mom better than you ever did.

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You haven't even bought her an iPhone yet.

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You pathetic insect. She birthed you, ungrateful wretch.

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Reviews for the Samsung Galaxy S24, S24 plus,

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and S24 Ultra are also out, with reviewers praising the lineup's new

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complimentary AI features, like circle to search and on-device translation.

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But the hardware is where some are finding flaws,

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which makes sense given that in at least one area, the phone's actually got a downgrade.

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The Ultra's stuck with a 5X optical zoom instead of 10X.

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As if on cue, in steps, the frustratingly named company Nothing,

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with its first major product announcement, I can remember,

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since they thought they had solved iMessage on Android. That lasted for like a day,

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which just didn't think it was that complicated. Anyways, all of a sudden, they launched the Nothing phone 2A yesterday,

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which has been rumored since December, a Pixel A series-esque,

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more budget-friendly alternative to the $600 Nothing phone 2.

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The company didn't reveal the 2A's price, design, or release date,

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but just knowing it's out there makes me feel a bit better.

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And that's not nothing. I won't apologize.

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$600 for nothing? Quick bits, man.

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They just get you right. They just get you right there.

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Come on, man. Wi-Fi company MorseMicro

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has published a record-breaking real-world demonstration

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of their Halo-based microprocessors,

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showing that they create Wi-Fi networks capable of maintaining video calls

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at a distance of 1.8 miles. Three kilometers.

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Ultra-long-range Wi-Fi signals usually aren't powerful enough to load media.

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Never mind maintaining a video call, but even at its farthest range,

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the connection maintained a minimum speed of one megabit a second,

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despite the test taking place in a busy, populated area.

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This could be a game-changer in the practicality of massive city-wide Wi-Fi networks,

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making your excuses to your mother about why you haven't called all the more infeasible.

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Tim is gonna come and take her from you.

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She deserves so much better. The browser company has announced

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more AI-powered features for its Arc browser. And would you believe me if I told you

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that they actually look kind of cool? Because you shouldn't, but let me tell you anyway.

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Arc's Instant Links feature skips the search results page entirely,

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scanning for the best handful of links and tabs, and opening them for you immediately.

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Live folder is a Google Alerts-like feature, except instead of keywords,

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it scans the web for content relating to topics you like.

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When something new comes up, it throws it in a folder and notifies you.

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Arc's Browse For Me results webpage generating feature

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is also coming to desktop from iOS, where it launched earlier this week.

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And altogether, it seems like the browser company just really wants to knock a chunk out of Google search

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business by not forcing people to deal with pop-ups. And I don't see the problem here.

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The FCC will be voting on whether robot calls using AI-generated voices

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should be officially recognized as illegal under an existing law from 1991,

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which bans the use of artificial and prerecorded voices

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in non-emergency calls without written permission from the call recipient.

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That was already illegal. These kinds of robot calls have spiked over the past few years,

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including a recent voter suppression effort that used a fake Joe Biden.

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The real one was busy. He's got stuff to do. Likely created using 11Labs software

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to discourage voters from participating in the New Hampshire primary

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and save their votes for the November election,

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which is just not how votes work. They expire if you don't use them, just like milk.

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You got one vote, don't use it on that. Japan plans to introduce a new six-month residency visa

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for digital nomads in order to make it easier for high-skilled remote workers, consultants,

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and online content creators to live in the country,

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despite not being employed in Japan. The government is currently taking public comment

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but hopes to launch the program in March. In order to be eligible, you must be a millionaire,

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but only a Japanese millionaire making over 10 million yen a year

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equivalent to around $68,000, which is still, it's a bunch.

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Currently, over 50 countries offer digital nomad visas,

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most of which allow significantly longer stays with far less stringent income requirements.

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I mean, if you've got a visible means of support other than your legs,

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you can just hang out in Germany for three years, maybe give up the anime, get really into techno dance.

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Welcome to Germany. You dance like you're from here.

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And according to a new study published in Science, researchers have developed a new machine learning model

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that mimics the way children learn language.

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How did they do it? Well, by strapping a camera to a toddler's forehead

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and feeding the resulting audio and video to an AI like a baby let's play, like a baby IRL stream.

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The birth rate is declining and that's a problem because we need more physical constructs

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to strap the AI onto. By seeing the world through a small child's eyes,

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or at least a small child's forehead, the AI was able to make associations between words

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and objects the same way a cute little human larva would.

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Hopefully demystifying a process that once upon a time all of us went through,

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but none of us remember. So can you prove it?

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What happened? But I know you'll remember to come back on Monday

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for more tech news, just like you remember everything I ever say to you.

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You're gonna do great on next week's quiz sport.