The most precious substance in the universe is tech news.
He who controls the tech news controls the universe.
The tech news must flow. Valve has pushed out what they described as a small update
to Counter-Strike 2 that wiped out nearly $2 billion
from the game's player-driven economy overnight. The October patch quietly changed
how trade-up contracts work. Instead of having to buy expensive stuff,
you could just trade in a bundle of cheap crap for ultra-rare knives.
This deen-deen-deen-deen-deen-deen update single-handedly detonated the steam community market
overnight sending the value of long-horted items
into freefall. Bloomberg reports total losses of over $1.75 billion
in under 24 hours. In perhaps the greatest redistribution of wealth
NVIDIA game history, well-to-do players on social media are showing several thousands in losses
whilst the little guys are actually coming out ahead. One lucky user's inventory of previously low-tiered skins
is currently being valued at three million US dollars.
But why did Valve do this? Well, this would stimulate a bunch of transactions
and they do make a kickback off of each sale,
but Valve wouldn't do that, right?
No, no. Literally no, they must have some other reason.
But maybe. Microsoft just pinched off its fall co-pilot release
and amongst a handful of updates for Edge, they introduced Miko, a new optional visual presence.
It didn't take long for every tech news site to draw parallels between Microsoft's blobby new mascot
and Clippy, Microsoft's old office assistant.
I'm not sure Miko can become as beloved or memed on as Clippy,
but Clippy never changed colors to reflect your interactions.
For an amorphous blob, Miko's grown on me.
Wouldn't be the first. And another thing that's growing is Microsoft's Edge browser,
which finally got a bunch of AI features that were announced back in July.
In Edge's new co-pilot mode, you can use co-pilot actions to set up AI-assisted
multi-step tasks for the browser to complete.
And the journeys feature lets you save projects without bookmarks, relying on co-pilot's memory
of your searches to jump back into a project.
Like with OpenAI's recently released Atlas browser, co-pilot does require permission to access your private data
and you'll see queues when co-pilot is active in your browser.
Speaking of Atlas, the timing of these Edge updates coincides
with OpenAI trying to make AI browsing cool,
but they're not off to a great start as Atlas is being called agonizingly slow.
Atlas was supposed to bring about vibe-living,
but by not letting you do online banking or visit the New York Times,
people are thinking it's more of a vibe killer.
Not chill, Atlas. I'm going back to Boomer Browsing.
In other Microsoft news, we may have found the smoking gun
that led to Xbox's recent price hikes. According to a report from Bloomberg's Jason Schreyer,
in fall 2023, Microsoft's Master Chief Financial Officer
Amy Hood told the Xbox division to target 30% profit margins
or accountability margins, as they apparently call them.
This is an eye-watering number considering gaming companies reportedly maintain profit
margins closer to 17 to 22% most of the time.
The aggressive targets apparently compelled Xbox to introduce significant policy changes to keep up,
which has resulted in layoffs and price hikes.
If they really wanted to make some money, they should release Halo 1 PlayStation,
which is exactly what they announced literally right before we started shooting this video,
which is so cool of them. We didn't have time to dive deep, but essentially a full remake of the Halo 1 campaign
is coming to the Xbox Store, Steam, and PlayStation 5 in 2026.
As Phil Spencer probably said, please buy multiple copies, please.
He probably said that. It's not all bad looks for Xbox though,
as old Phil and Miss Spence just told Japanese gaming publication, Femitsu,
in the last year, Xbox's playtime has increased by around 20% in Japan,
a region notorious for hating Xbox. Unfortunately, it's still mostly bad looks for Xbox though,
because some YouTubers claim the new ROG Xbox Ally handheld systems
perform better and smoother with the Steam OS like Bazlight Linux OS
instead of the Windows OS that comes pre-installed.
CyberDopamine and ETA Prime both have videos on the subject with similar findings.
Windows just isn't quite comfortable on handhelds yet,
but you know where you may be more comfortable, you will be on our sponsor.
Don't fear, QuickBits. QuickBits are the mind-filler. I will face my QuickBits.
I will permit them to pass through me and over me and in me.
Apple says its beloved app tracking transparency feature,
the one that stops apps from following you around like a clingy ex, might soon be disabled in Europe.
The company claims intense lobbying efforts in countries like Germany and Italy
could force it to withdraw the privacy tool to the detriment of European consumers.
This statement comes after a probe launched by German,
they love their probes. Back in 2022 and fines from France's competition authority
back in March of this year. When will these socialists stop?
Don't you people want the freedom to be exploited? The American way?
Yeehaw! Yeehaw! And in what might be the most shocking Apple news this week,
the company is developing a new app migration kit,
a framework to help users move their data from iOS to Android.
You know, the opposite of what they usually want their customers to do? The tool, quietly detailed on Apple's developer site,
would let apps securely transfer user data between platforms.
The reason? Likely EU regulatory pressure.
That's what causes all good things in this world. Though Apple hasn't said that outright.
Either way, Apple removing their head out of their ass a little bit more is good news for everybody.
Forget what I said at the end of the last story. Samsung and SK Hynix are reportedly raising memory prices
by up to 30% according to Trend Force and Hang Yung.
This increase hits both DRAM and NAN Flash, the stuff that powers your RAM and SSDs.
The reason? Surging AI demand and long-term data center contracts
gobbling up supply. Great news for chip makers, but terrible news
for anyone planning a PC upgrade. At this rate, your next 16 gigs of RAM
might end up costing more than the game you bought it for.
Just joking, those are going up in price too. Nike has revealed Project Amplify,
a new line of powered footwear designed to enhance leg
and ankle movement. The shoes feature built-in actuators
and motion sensors to assist with every step. But the design is giving Marty McFly mags
crossed with your dad's prescription knee brace. Nike's cinematic pro-mo shows glowing futuristic athletes,
but explains nothing about how they work. I assume over-the-air updates.
Nike Air, I'll see myself out.
Thank you. An FBI investigation is alleging that NBA players,
coaches, and alumni were involved in a nationwide poker conspiracy,
straight out of a heist movie. The scheme involved leering wealthy people
who wanted to play cards against celebrities, such as 2004 NBA finals MVP, Chauncey Phillips,
into underground poker games, where everyone else was in on the plot
to take the target's money. Aren't NBA players rich enough?
The FBI alleges that the perpetrators relied on technology like rig-shuffling machines,
cards with marks on them that could only be seen using special sunglasses or contact lenses,
and naturally x-ray friggin' tables to cheat.
Apparently, the victims were hustled out of at least $7 million.
I guess you could say these gamblers were really ballin' out.
Now, seriously, I should leave.
But you should stay, or come back again, on Monday for more tech news.
I know there's another episode coming, because oddly enough, my co-writer quoted Lynch's dune
when he told me to restore tech news production or live my life out in a pain amplifier.
I've gotta call HR about that. No gum, Jabar, is that work, pinball?
Darn.