{"video_id":"fp_0m97oL7bpQ","title":"Extended Cut - Elijah's Haircut for Scrapyard Wars","channel":"FP Exclusives","show":"FP Exclusives","published_at":"2024-07-23T17:01:00.034Z","duration_s":1828,"segments":[{"start_s":0.0,"end_s":5.28,"text":"The Floatplane Exclusive has to get 3,000 likes and I'm gonna get an Eyebruslet after.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":5.28,"end_s":12.88,"text":"I don't want to do this, you don't want to do this. If you want to do this, I'm down. I've never, I've never shaved a head, I'll do it. I don't mean I want someone else to do it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":15.92,"end_s":18.48,"text":"My goodness, that was not the point. You should probably be a world-two, Sammy.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":19.68,"end_s":21.92,"text":"You want to do it? I trust you.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":23.84,"end_s":27.84,"text":"I've never done this in my life. You trust me? You never worn a beard that long in your life.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":27.92,"end_s":32.24,"text":"All right. Holy s**t, brother. What does star with the hairline mean? Start up here.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":36.48,"end_s":40.32,"text":"Should we clear the way, other stuff? I'm fine if you try to actually style it,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":40.32,"end_s":42.48,"text":"you don't have to go straight bald. Oh, that's not the anyway.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":43.52,"end_s":46.64,"text":"If you want to go straight bald, we can. What does style it mean? I don't know.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":47.2,"end_s":50.8,"text":"Do a lower taper fade. Straight bald is the only style we know.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":52.88,"end_s":55.92,"text":"I was under the impression that you were going to go full bald. Maybe we should discuss this.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":55.92,"end_s":59.92,"text":"I have a nasty headphone dent. Oh, we could do like Mohawk.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":61.2,"end_s":64.8,"text":"I could do a Mohawk probably. It might not be the straightest in the world.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":66.8,"end_s":72.56,"text":"What do you want? I appreciate you. It's anything for content. Listen, as long as I get 25% of the likes on this video, I'll take it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":75.76,"end_s":82.16,"text":"This seems, this seems silly. I agree. Are you sure you don't want to like put on a hat?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":82.16,"end_s":85.84,"text":"Nope. I mean, I will have a hat. If it's really bad, I will just put on a hat.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":86.64,"end_s":88.72,"text":"There's always a safety, there's always a fallback.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":90.24,"end_s":91.92,"text":"I feel very bad. Yeah, you should.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":95.84,"end_s":100.72,"text":"If you're that hesitant on it, we cannot do it. Well, I'm, I'm hesitant. Like, how are you going to feel about this?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":100.72,"end_s":105.2,"text":"Does this seem fun? Cause like for the memes, or are you like, I don't really want to do this, but I'm doing it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":105.2,"end_s":110.96,"text":"I was going to cut my hair in about two weeks anyways. To what though? This will be a bald Mohawk.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":112.56,"end_s":117.68,"text":"Probably with uneven lines on the side. I have not gotten bald since grade three.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":118.24,"end_s":120.4,"text":"Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":121.52,"end_s":126.4,"text":"I don't know. Okay, then let's go for it. Okay. I'm fine doing it. I just don't want you to be like upset.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":126.4,"end_s":130.48,"text":"Let's go for it. I'm not gonna be upset. Just commit to it and I won't be upset. All right. Go, go, go, go, go, go.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":131.44,"end_s":140.64,"text":"I see David laughing at the corner.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":143.28,"end_s":147.44,"text":"Is it like straight to the skin? It's probably straight to the skin. What do you, what do you think is going to be?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":147.44,"end_s":150.56,"text":"I don't know. Maybe I thought maybe he was giving me a number two on the sides.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":150.56,"end_s":154.72,"text":"No, no. I have one, one setting on this.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":154.72,"end_s":156.72,"text":"I think the regret has now set in.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":157.76,"end_s":160.88,"text":"You're committed. That's okay. It's a little too late to change it now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":161.44,"end_s":165.36,"text":"Out there, there's a reality where I didn't. I'm not gonna lie. What I've done so far is like kind of sick.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":165.36,"end_s":168.8,"text":"This thing is like that trendy, it's like. I'm like kind of down with it so far.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":168.8,"end_s":173.2,"text":"Sure. That makes me feel way better because I can't see anything right now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":173.2,"end_s":176.56,"text":"I didn't invent that name, the game all of it. It's like the. It's an actual like style.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":176.56,"end_s":179.68,"text":"Yeah. Okay. The back of your hair is probably not quite long enough. Okay.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":179.68,"end_s":182.96,"text":"But it's a trendy look. Well, it's inspected, David. Let me know.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":184.24,"end_s":187.52,"text":"What do you think? Like come look around. Come look around the side. Well, you're doing a great job.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":188.96,"end_s":192.48,"text":"She laughed. She laughed. She laughed. Oh God.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":193.36,"end_s":196.4,"text":"I don't know if this is the right time to say it. I've never cut anyone's hair in my entire life.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":197.68,"end_s":201.6,"text":"I've never even cut my own hair. It looks professional. Oh, does it?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":201.6,"end_s":205.52,"text":"All right. It's like kind of sick. I've never had a doubt. Oh, it's really cold on the right side of my head.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":205.52,"end_s":208.88,"text":"I think yeah, you should do the sides and let's see if we like it. And then we'll evaluate it from there.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":208.88,"end_s":212.08,"text":"Yeah, sure. Yeah. My other problem is we talked about this earlier.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":212.08,"end_s":215.12,"text":"I am not ambidextrous. Doing the other side of his head is gonna be very hard.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":215.12,"end_s":220.0,"text":"Look, just go around this way. I'll turn Elijah off.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":220.0,"end_s":223.76,"text":"And then you go here. And then you might want to swing.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":223.76,"end_s":225.44,"text":"Oh. Yeah, whatever works for you.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":230.8,"end_s":232.0,"text":"Just come around here. Come around here.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":235.36,"end_s":238.24,"text":"Yeah, I know. Just come there. Point this way.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":239.76,"end_s":243.2,"text":"Film. Oh, no, I'm over main camera. Oh.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":243.2,"end_s":246.72,"text":"Yeah, yeah, not my camera. Well, then everything I said is stupid.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":253.84,"end_s":259.92,"text":"If you want to see the full, you know, uncut version of me brutalizing Elijah's hair,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":260.72,"end_s":261.68,"text":"check it out on FloatPlay.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":264.72,"end_s":266.24,"text":"Oh, yeah. All the other behind the scene content.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":268.8,"end_s":272.96,"text":"I'm a little focused right now. But yeah, check it out. I appreciate him being focused.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":272.96,"end_s":277.2,"text":"I'm trying to make this, like, actually not horrible. I need to hold on.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":277.92,"end_s":279.92,"text":"Oh, that's not. Shut the f*** up, Sammy.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":283.52,"end_s":287.84,"text":"Oh, how do you do both of these? Do you want to be the greatest part? What? Didn't tell my wife this was happening.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":288.96,"end_s":292.08,"text":"That is actually pretty cool. I'm gonna get home. She's gonna be like-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":292.08,"end_s":295.84,"text":"I heard that's a good strategy if you don't want issues at home.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":295.84,"end_s":298.48,"text":"It's better to ask- Not communicate with your spouse.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":299.2,"end_s":302.48,"text":"If communication is really overrated- Thank for forgiveness instead of ask for permission.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":302.48,"end_s":304.48,"text":"That's what I always say. Yeah, that's a great idea.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":307.12,"end_s":310.48,"text":"Okay, I did more. Yeah, record.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":312.4,"end_s":315.92,"text":"Oh, no, no, she's not working now. I actually can't call her. Sorry, turn this way.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":316.64,"end_s":319.6,"text":"Okay. This is like what a barber does, grabs my chin. Yeah, I'm used to this.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":324.08,"end_s":328.0,"text":"I just got really nauseous to my stomach. I think it just- I think it like all just set in.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":328.08,"end_s":332.16,"text":"Like, I feel the cold air on both sides of my face right now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":332.16,"end_s":335.84,"text":"And I'm like, oh. I tried.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":335.84,"end_s":340.32,"text":"I tried multiple times to shut this down. Yeah, but you know what?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":340.32,"end_s":344.64,"text":"Now I don't care. Like you- Anything for content. You spent all my cares.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":344.64,"end_s":345.44,"text":"Anything for content.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":347.68,"end_s":351.92,"text":"Hey, Java, if you want to send part of that check right to my address, that'd be really cool.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":352.8,"end_s":355.92,"text":"Go check out java.gg. Got more.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":356.64,"end_s":358.8,"text":"I'll sell locks of my hair on their website.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":360.32,"end_s":363.92,"text":"Hair and bath water? Listen, bath water is king.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":364.8,"end_s":366.8,"text":"That was actually what leaked earlier that I was telling you about.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":368.32,"end_s":371.84,"text":"I assumed. I actually did. I'm not even kidding.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":372.8,"end_s":375.92,"text":"What do you think? It's amazing. Is it? Is it actually?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":375.92,"end_s":379.52,"text":"Let's check the symmetry. Yeah, the symmetry is what I'm worried about right now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":379.52,"end_s":382.88,"text":"Wow, yes. How am I doing?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":382.88,"end_s":386.56,"text":"Yeah, not bad. You look like- It looks like you went higher on this side a little bit.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":386.56,"end_s":391.76,"text":"So I have to go higher here? Just a little. Okay, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, I'm just trying to be very gradual on this side.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":391.76,"end_s":394.8,"text":"Yeah, it's gradual this guy. I'd rather you do more cuts that are smaller","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":394.8,"end_s":396.24,"text":"instead of just, you know, make it-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":397.84,"end_s":402.24,"text":"Wow, you blinded me. Sorry, I've never been this hands-on with another man's hair.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":402.24,"end_s":406.96,"text":"So- It's kind of nice. I should have used this to stick it on your face.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":408.72,"end_s":413.2,"text":"He used this as the beard. No, I should have. So the gap- The gap back here mostly is sweet.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":413.2,"end_s":417.44,"text":"Yeah, things have changed. Yeah, I'm- I'm giving Young Mike a buzz.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":417.44,"end_s":421.04,"text":"Ah, yeah, yeah. Young. That's his name.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":421.04,"end_s":424.32,"text":"Perfect. Okay, so the gap was-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":424.32,"end_s":428.56,"text":"It was more back here right now. Yeah, back here is like calming my hair. That's like 30 centimeters.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":428.56,"end_s":433.04,"text":"Just a little. Perfect, perfect. Just slowly calibrate. I just want to say whatever the result of this,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":433.04,"end_s":436.4,"text":"I did actually try. Oh, I'm not saying you didn't try.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":436.4,"end_s":439.28,"text":"And so far, hearing everyone's reaction, I'm actually kind of confident.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":439.92,"end_s":442.72,"text":"But that you guys could all be absolutely flubbing this up and like-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":443.44,"end_s":446.56,"text":"Luke's doing a good job. Like it's- I have faith.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":446.56,"end_s":450.4,"text":"Yeah. Oh my god, that's a lot of hair.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":450.4,"end_s":453.84,"text":"There's more. That's just half of it. Oh, I just saw more.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":453.84,"end_s":456.32,"text":"Okay, correct. Could I get a- Yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":458.8,"end_s":462.56,"text":"Just a little bit more. A little bit more still. Got it. But honestly, follow your heart.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":462.56,"end_s":466.08,"text":"It's looking really good. I'll keep all the hair around you. We can get a shot.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":466.08,"end_s":468.96,"text":"My heart is distracted. I'm thinking about computers.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":470.48,"end_s":474.08,"text":"If we win Scrapyard Wars, it's worth it. I can have that. What if you lose?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":477.2,"end_s":478.8,"text":"I don't think I can say that joke on camera.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":482.4,"end_s":483.52,"text":"Can you stop recording? No, I'm scared.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":486.64,"end_s":488.8,"text":"Yo, Steve, will they let us sell hair on Java?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":490.32,"end_s":493.92,"text":"I can ask them. Cool. Let's sell locks of my SPF hair. I feel like a ha-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":495.92,"end_s":496.88,"text":"What do you mean a hazard?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":499.76,"end_s":502.88,"text":"You got- You got- You got- What do they call it? Lice, bro? You got a lice?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":503.68,"end_s":507.84,"text":"We're shipping lice worldwide. I can actually tell you right now, confidently, that you do not have lice.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":507.84,"end_s":509.84,"text":"Let's go. I would be able to see.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":511.76,"end_s":515.2,"text":"It's very cold in here. My head is not used to being-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":515.2,"end_s":518.8,"text":"I don't think I've ever gone this- Oh, I see slight reflection in the picture.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":518.8,"end_s":522.0,"text":"Can I get another check? Yeah. Okay, so I'll look here. Yo, fact check.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":522.0,"end_s":524.88,"text":"Communion yelp. Nice. Okay, turn this way.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":525.76,"end_s":529.12,"text":"Yeah. Yeah. You think so? You think we should just keep this?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":529.12,"end_s":532.64,"text":"Do you think that's enough? I kind of- It's pretty dramatic.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":532.64,"end_s":534.32,"text":"I feel like it might be. She's laughing. No.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":536.64,"end_s":541.92,"text":"That's not a good sign. No, that's not a good sign. That's not a good sign.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":544.8,"end_s":547.52,"text":"Why are you laughing? No, it looks so good. Does it?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":548.4,"end_s":551.92,"text":"Yeah, we can- Like, yeah, you can style it up this way or whatever. I think it needs to be styled up.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":551.92,"end_s":554.24,"text":"Yeah, it's cute. I really like it. I think it needs to be styled up. Yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":555.28,"end_s":557.28,"text":"Have you ever thought about shaving your eyebrows?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":558.88,"end_s":562.16,"text":"What? Because some people like the no eyebrows. Yeah, that's trendy now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":562.16,"end_s":566.32,"text":"I know it. Slit, slit. We're not doing an eyebrow slit. All please. We're not doing an eyebrow slit.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":566.32,"end_s":569.68,"text":"I could do a slit on you. I could do a slit on you, for sure. Sorry, I'm trying to get some of the-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":569.68,"end_s":574.0,"text":"It looks pretty cool. The Floatplane Exclusive has to get 3,000 likes.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":574.0,"end_s":577.04,"text":"Do we have gel? And we'll get an eyebrow slit after. Like, actually, do we have gel?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":577.04,"end_s":580.16,"text":"Because I think keeping it up- Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know if we have it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":580.16,"end_s":583.2,"text":"I don't have hairs sometimes. Like, look at it. Think about it that way.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":583.84,"end_s":587.84,"text":"That's actually pretty sweet, yeah. Yeah. That's bright. Off, Sammy. Stop laughing.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":587.84,"end_s":590.96,"text":"I'll go ask Riley. Okay, I'm not here today. All right, right now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":590.96,"end_s":594.16,"text":"Do you want to see it? I can go see. You know what?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":594.16,"end_s":598.08,"text":"I'm actually like- I think you can rock it, for sure. I think if it goes up,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":598.08,"end_s":601.44,"text":"right now, how it's styled is not perfect. I think- But even if you don't style it up,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":601.44,"end_s":604.96,"text":"if you don't end up styling it, it's kind of cool. I want someone to spin it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":604.96,"end_s":606.88,"text":"Oh, spin. Spin me.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":612.88,"end_s":614.8,"text":"It's pretty cool. I tried.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":616.88,"end_s":620.64,"text":"No, I'm confident. I'm not. I'm- Oh, it's so short.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":622.8,"end_s":626.24,"text":"You know, it can be funny if people react to it, but he doesn't know what it looks like yet.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":627.44,"end_s":630.4,"text":"So you don't want me to go look? Can you turn around now? Now that you're standing?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":631.28,"end_s":635.68,"text":"Yeah, it's decently even. Yeah. Yeah. I do really think it needs to go up.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":635.68,"end_s":638.56,"text":"Styling like up. I do- Yeah, I'm pretty-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":639.52,"end_s":641.52,"text":"Because it flops over there. It looks like an airplane.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":642.96,"end_s":643.6,"text":"No, no, no, no.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":646.88,"end_s":651.04,"text":"Now let's get attention. Always. Like all the extra hair.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":651.04,"end_s":653.12,"text":"Holy cow, it's so short. I can feel it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":654.8,"end_s":658.48,"text":"I'm jealous. Yeah? Well, monetize my haircut. I can do yours.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":658.48,"end_s":661.52,"text":"Yeah, I know. He's not competing. No one knows him.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":661.52,"end_s":664.96,"text":"Haircuts for all. Let's just turn it to haircut worse.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":666.08,"end_s":667.2,"text":"And we're building a PC.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":670.64,"end_s":674.4,"text":"I don't know if it looks good, but it looks like you- Are we doing a tattoo still? It looks like you meant it to exist.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":674.4,"end_s":677.52,"text":"Sure, I know. What does that say? This is RIP. Okay, good.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":677.52,"end_s":679.76,"text":"I don't want it to be like white people can't read this or something.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":680.96,"end_s":684.08,"text":"No, you know what? Let me just- I'm screwed. I don't know.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":684.08,"end_s":687.68,"text":"Yeah, I know. Is it okay if we can get your reactions first back there first?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":687.68,"end_s":692.56,"text":"Yeah, yeah, totally. No, I don't want to- I do think he should style it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":692.56,"end_s":696.24,"text":"And then- So much. Yeah, I tried to help get it out, but it's a little woven in there.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":697.28,"end_s":699.04,"text":"I think you did a great job. Thanks.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":702.0,"end_s":705.04,"text":"I can see- Oh my god. I don't think it's-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":705.04,"end_s":708.56,"text":"No, I have no doubts. It's just I have not had- I would have doubts.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":708.56,"end_s":711.04,"text":"I have not had- I would be doubting. What the hell?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":713.84,"end_s":716.48,"text":"I have not had hair this short since grade three.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":717.04,"end_s":719.76,"text":"So like 17 years.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":720.96,"end_s":726.32,"text":"Dude, you got speed on the side, party on the top and back. I think you can rock it like a hundred percent.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":727.04,"end_s":730.64,"text":"Hey, Robert. Hello. How you doing? I am okay.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":730.64,"end_s":734.72,"text":"How are you? Oh, great. Why are you saying it like that? I was expecting you.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":734.72,"end_s":737.92,"text":"Oh my god. Oh my god.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":737.92,"end_s":741.12,"text":"What happened? He hasn't seen it yet.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":741.12,"end_s":743.2,"text":"Sorry. Is it good?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":745.28,"end_s":748.24,"text":"It's a look. It's a statement. Yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":749.2,"end_s":751.84,"text":"I got- Wow. You know who cut it? And then there's-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":752.88,"end_s":756.32,"text":"Oh god. So you-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":756.32,"end_s":759.6,"text":"You lost some hair along the sides. He gained some hair. I got-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":759.6,"end_s":761.06,"text":"There's one on each side. Okay.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":763.12,"end_s":768.96,"text":"It is so much worse than I thought.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":769.6,"end_s":773.44,"text":"Every single one of you was like, it's fine. I look like a meth addict on this side.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":773.44,"end_s":776.8,"text":"What? Are you- Are you- My Chris, I think is worth.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":776.8,"end_s":780.0,"text":"Dude, my wife is gonna f***ing kill me. Yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":782.08,"end_s":783.12,"text":"I didn't need to do better.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":785.36,"end_s":788.16,"text":"I can shave the rest off. No problem. Just let me know.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":788.8,"end_s":791.28,"text":"That's what you committed to, right? We can shave the rest off.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":792.24,"end_s":794.08,"text":"Cut that. Cut that from the video. Nope.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":796.64,"end_s":798.48,"text":"How do we put a tattoo on you? Yeah, one.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":799.84,"end_s":804.24,"text":"That's all you need. I don't feel very convincing right now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":804.24,"end_s":808.64,"text":"That looks good. But I think with that- That's it? Yeah. I can't tell if you're serious or not.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":808.64,"end_s":812.0,"text":"I'm serious. I think you're full of s***, but- It doesn't look that bad. Did you grab the-","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":812.0,"end_s":815.36,"text":"Did you grab the gel? No, I didn't yet. Okay. I'll grab that for you.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":815.36,"end_s":818.0,"text":"It's on me. But let's uh- Blindness is ready for you.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":818.88,"end_s":822.48,"text":"He's breaking character. He's breaking character.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":822.48,"end_s":825.44,"text":"There he is. Okay. Told me if you don't have anything nice to say.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":828.24,"end_s":830.96,"text":"Do you know who cut it? I assume Luke. Yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":833.92,"end_s":836.32,"text":"Everyone else said it was fine. Why did you assume? Why did you assume?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":837.04,"end_s":840.8,"text":"Because I asked her because it's bad. I just heard you guys laughing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":840.8,"end_s":844.32,"text":"Hi, Flo Plain. We are about to get my wife's reaction.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":844.32,"end_s":849.52,"text":"I just got home. It's almost 9 p.m. Let's see what she thinks of the haircut.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":853.44,"end_s":855.6,"text":"Hi. You can look now.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":857.6,"end_s":859.52,"text":"You don't want to? No.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":861.04,"end_s":864.48,"text":"I don't think it's as bad as you think it is. It's probably not.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":864.48,"end_s":867.52,"text":"I'm just kind of scared you're going to look like every guy I went to high school with.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":876.8,"end_s":882.8,"text":"You look like a rejected Futurama character.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":895.04,"end_s":898.16,"text":"I mean, you look handsome, handsome. I love you. Wow.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":898.16,"end_s":898.88,"text":"Look at it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":902.24,"end_s":904.88,"text":"Well, there you go, Flo Plain. There's the haircut.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":906.56,"end_s":907.36,"text":"What are your thoughts?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":909.92,"end_s":914.16,"text":"Not a brain cell in there.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0}],"full_text":"The Floatplane Exclusive has to get 3,000 likes and I'm gonna get an Eyebruslet after. I don't want to do this, you don't want to do this. If you want to do this, I'm down. I've never, I've never shaved a head, I'll do it. I don't mean I want someone else to do it. My goodness, that was not the point. You should probably be a world-two, Sammy. You want to do it? I trust you. I've never done this in my life. You trust me? You never worn a beard that long in your life. All right. Holy s**t, brother. What does star with the hairline mean? Start up here. Should we clear the way, other stuff? I'm fine if you try to actually style it, you don't have to go straight bald. Oh, that's not the anyway. If you want to go straight bald, we can. What does style it mean? I don't know. Do a lower taper fade. Straight bald is the only style we know. I was under the impression that you were going to go full bald. Maybe we should discuss this. I have a nasty headphone dent. Oh, we could do like Mohawk. I could do a Mohawk probably. It might not be the straightest in the world. What do you want? I appreciate you. It's anything for content. Listen, as long as I get 25% of the likes on this video, I'll take it. This seems, this seems silly. I agree. Are you sure you don't want to like put on a hat? Nope. I mean, I will have a hat. If it's really bad, I will just put on a hat. There's always a safety, there's always a fallback. I feel very bad. Yeah, you should. If you're that hesitant on it, we cannot do it. Well, I'm, I'm hesitant. Like, how are you going to feel about this? Does this seem fun? Cause like for the memes, or are you like, I don't really want to do this, but I'm doing it. I was going to cut my hair in about two weeks anyways. To what though? This will be a bald Mohawk. Probably with uneven lines on the side. I have not gotten bald since grade three. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel? I don't know. Okay, then let's go for it. Okay. I'm fine doing it. I just don't want you to be like upset. Let's go for it. I'm not gonna be upset. Just commit to it and I won't be upset. All right. Go, go, go, go, go, go. I see David laughing at the corner. Is it like straight to the skin? It's probably straight to the skin. What do you, what do you think is going to be? I don't know. Maybe I thought maybe he was giving me a number two on the sides. No, no. I have one, one setting on this. I think the regret has now set in. You're committed. That's okay. It's a little too late to change it now. Out there, there's a reality where I didn't. I'm not gonna lie. What I've done so far is like kind of sick. This thing is like that trendy, it's like. I'm like kind of down with it so far. Sure. That makes me feel way better because I can't see anything right now. I didn't invent that name, the game all of it. It's like the. It's an actual like style. Yeah. Okay. The back of your hair is probably not quite long enough. Okay. But it's a trendy look. Well, it's inspected, David. Let me know. What do you think? Like come look around. Come look around the side. Well, you're doing a great job. She laughed. She laughed. She laughed. Oh God. I don't know if this is the right time to say it. I've never cut anyone's hair in my entire life. I've never even cut my own hair. It looks professional. Oh, does it? All right. It's like kind of sick. I've never had a doubt. Oh, it's really cold on the right side of my head. I think yeah, you should do the sides and let's see if we like it. And then we'll evaluate it from there. Yeah, sure. Yeah. My other problem is we talked about this earlier. I am not ambidextrous. Doing the other side of his head is gonna be very hard. Look, just go around this way. I'll turn Elijah off. And then you go here. And then you might want to swing. Oh. Yeah, whatever works for you. Just come around here. Come around here. Yeah, I know. Just come there. Point this way. Film. Oh, no, I'm over main camera. Oh. Yeah, yeah, not my camera. Well, then everything I said is stupid. If you want to see the full, you know, uncut version of me brutalizing Elijah's hair, check it out on FloatPlay. Oh, yeah. All the other behind the scene content. I'm a little focused right now. But yeah, check it out. I appreciate him being focused. I'm trying to make this, like, actually not horrible. I need to hold on. Oh, that's not. Shut the f*** up, Sammy. Oh, how do you do both of these? Do you want to be the greatest part? What? Didn't tell my wife this was happening. That is actually pretty cool. I'm gonna get home. She's gonna be like- I heard that's a good strategy if you don't want issues at home. It's better to ask- Not communicate with your spouse. If communication is really overrated- Thank for forgiveness instead of ask for permission. That's what I always say. Yeah, that's a great idea. Okay, I did more. Yeah, record. Oh, no, no, she's not working now. I actually can't call her. Sorry, turn this way. Okay. This is like what a barber does, grabs my chin. Yeah, I'm used to this. I just got really nauseous to my stomach. I think it just- I think it like all just set in. Like, I feel the cold air on both sides of my face right now. And I'm like, oh. I tried. I tried multiple times to shut this down. Yeah, but you know what? Now I don't care. Like you- Anything for content. You spent all my cares. Anything for content. Hey, Java, if you want to send part of that check right to my address, that'd be really cool. Go check out java.gg. Got more. I'll sell locks of my hair on their website. Hair and bath water? Listen, bath water is king. That was actually what leaked earlier that I was telling you about. I assumed. I actually did. I'm not even kidding. What do you think? It's amazing. Is it? Is it actually? Let's check the symmetry. Yeah, the symmetry is what I'm worried about right now. Wow, yes. How am I doing? Yeah, not bad. You look like- It looks like you went higher on this side a little bit. So I have to go higher here? Just a little. Okay, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, I'm just trying to be very gradual on this side. Yeah, it's gradual this guy. I'd rather you do more cuts that are smaller instead of just, you know, make it- Wow, you blinded me. Sorry, I've never been this hands-on with another man's hair. So- It's kind of nice. I should have used this to stick it on your face. He used this as the beard. No, I should have. So the gap- The gap back here mostly is sweet. Yeah, things have changed. Yeah, I'm- I'm giving Young Mike a buzz. Ah, yeah, yeah. Young. That's his name. Perfect. Okay, so the gap was- It was more back here right now. Yeah, back here is like calming my hair. That's like 30 centimeters. Just a little. Perfect, perfect. Just slowly calibrate. I just want to say whatever the result of this, I did actually try. Oh, I'm not saying you didn't try. And so far, hearing everyone's reaction, I'm actually kind of confident. But that you guys could all be absolutely flubbing this up and like- Luke's doing a good job. Like it's- I have faith. Yeah. Oh my god, that's a lot of hair. There's more. That's just half of it. Oh, I just saw more. Okay, correct. Could I get a- Yeah. Just a little bit more. A little bit more still. Got it. But honestly, follow your heart. It's looking really good. I'll keep all the hair around you. We can get a shot. My heart is distracted. I'm thinking about computers. If we win Scrapyard Wars, it's worth it. I can have that. What if you lose? I don't think I can say that joke on camera. Can you stop recording? No, I'm scared. Yo, Steve, will they let us sell hair on Java? I can ask them. Cool. Let's sell locks of my SPF hair. I feel like a ha- What do you mean a hazard? You got- You got- You got- What do they call it? Lice, bro? You got a lice? We're shipping lice worldwide. I can actually tell you right now, confidently, that you do not have lice. Let's go. I would be able to see. It's very cold in here. My head is not used to being- I don't think I've ever gone this- Oh, I see slight reflection in the picture. Can I get another check? Yeah. Okay, so I'll look here. Yo, fact check. Communion yelp. Nice. Okay, turn this way. Yeah. Yeah. You think so? You think we should just keep this? Do you think that's enough? I kind of- It's pretty dramatic. I feel like it might be. She's laughing. No. That's not a good sign. No, that's not a good sign. That's not a good sign. Why are you laughing? No, it looks so good. Does it? Yeah, we can- Like, yeah, you can style it up this way or whatever. I think it needs to be styled up. Yeah, it's cute. I really like it. I think it needs to be styled up. Yeah. Have you ever thought about shaving your eyebrows? What? Because some people like the no eyebrows. Yeah, that's trendy now. I know it. Slit, slit. We're not doing an eyebrow slit. All please. We're not doing an eyebrow slit. I could do a slit on you. I could do a slit on you, for sure. Sorry, I'm trying to get some of the- It looks pretty cool. The Floatplane Exclusive has to get 3,000 likes. Do we have gel? And we'll get an eyebrow slit after. Like, actually, do we have gel? Because I think keeping it up- Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know if we have it. I don't have hairs sometimes. Like, look at it. Think about it that way. That's actually pretty sweet, yeah. Yeah. That's bright. Off, Sammy. Stop laughing. I'll go ask Riley. Okay, I'm not here today. All right, right now. Do you want to see it? I can go see. You know what? I'm actually like- I think you can rock it, for sure. I think if it goes up, right now, how it's styled is not perfect. I think- But even if you don't style it up, if you don't end up styling it, it's kind of cool. I want someone to spin it. Oh, spin. Spin me. It's pretty cool. I tried. No, I'm confident. I'm not. I'm- Oh, it's so short. You know, it can be funny if people react to it, but he doesn't know what it looks like yet. So you don't want me to go look? Can you turn around now? Now that you're standing? Yeah, it's decently even. Yeah. Yeah. I do really think it needs to go up. Styling like up. I do- Yeah, I'm pretty- Because it flops over there. It looks like an airplane. No, no, no, no. Now let's get attention. Always. Like all the extra hair. Holy cow, it's so short. I can feel it. I'm jealous. Yeah? Well, monetize my haircut. I can do yours. Yeah, I know. He's not competing. No one knows him. Haircuts for all. Let's just turn it to haircut worse. And we're building a PC. I don't know if it looks good, but it looks like you- Are we doing a tattoo still? It looks like you meant it to exist. Sure, I know. What does that say? This is RIP. Okay, good. I don't want it to be like white people can't read this or something. No, you know what? Let me just- I'm screwed. I don't know. Yeah, I know. Is it okay if we can get your reactions first back there first? Yeah, yeah, totally. No, I don't want to- I do think he should style it. And then- So much. Yeah, I tried to help get it out, but it's a little woven in there. I think you did a great job. Thanks. I can see- Oh my god. I don't think it's- No, I have no doubts. It's just I have not had- I would have doubts. I have not had- I would be doubting. What the hell? I have not had hair this short since grade three. So like 17 years. Dude, you got speed on the side, party on the top and back. I think you can rock it like a hundred percent. Hey, Robert. Hello. How you doing? I am okay. How are you? Oh, great. Why are you saying it like that? I was expecting you. Oh my god. Oh my god. What happened? He hasn't seen it yet. Sorry. Is it good? It's a look. It's a statement. Yeah. I got- Wow. You know who cut it? And then there's- Oh god. So you- You lost some hair along the sides. He gained some hair. I got- There's one on each side. Okay. It is so much worse than I thought. Every single one of you was like, it's fine. I look like a meth addict on this side. What? Are you- Are you- My Chris, I think is worth. Dude, my wife is gonna f***ing kill me. Yeah. I didn't need to do better. I can shave the rest off. No problem. Just let me know. That's what you committed to, right? We can shave the rest off. Cut that. Cut that from the video. Nope. How do we put a tattoo on you? Yeah, one. That's all you need. I don't feel very convincing right now. That looks good. But I think with that- That's it? Yeah. I can't tell if you're serious or not. I'm serious. I think you're full of s***, but- It doesn't look that bad. Did you grab the- Did you grab the gel? No, I didn't yet. Okay. I'll grab that for you. It's on me. But let's uh- Blindness is ready for you. He's breaking character. He's breaking character. There he is. Okay. Told me if you don't have anything nice to say. Do you know who cut it? I assume Luke. Yeah. Everyone else said it was fine. Why did you assume? Why did you assume? Because I asked her because it's bad. I just heard you guys laughing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Flo Plain. We are about to get my wife's reaction. I just got home. It's almost 9 p.m. Let's see what she thinks of the haircut. Hi. You can look now. You don't want to? No. I don't think it's as bad as you think it is. It's probably not. I'm just kind of scared you're going to look like every guy I went to high school with. You look like a rejected Futurama character. I mean, you look handsome, handsome. I love you. Wow. Look at it. Well, there you go, Flo Plain. There's the haircut. What are your thoughts? Not a brain cell in there."}