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My mama used to feed me the tech news every morning with a

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spoon. But then Techling came into my

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life. Well, it was never the same. NVIDIA has announced the RTX 5060

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desktop family, which the company is heartlessly splitting up to launch

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separately. Mama. Mama. No. There's no

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Founders Edition cards, but OEM versions of the RTX 5060 Ti are out now with

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MSRPs of $430 USD for the 16 gig version

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and $380 for the 8 gig version with the

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vanilla non Ti $300 RTX 5060 coming in

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May alongside 5060 laptops. Now,

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reviewers could have emphasized that these cards offer about a 20%

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performance uplift along with more features compared to their predecessors

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at an arguably inoffensive price and left it at that. But no, NVIDIA had to

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go and claim the 5060 Ti is 50 times

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faster than the GTX 1060. So, reviewers

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had no choice but to talk instead about NVIDIA's ridiculous marketing. Again,

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why' you make us do it? NVIDIA says the 5060 family embodies the three pillars

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of modern gaming performance, image

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quality, frame rate, and latency. But

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they forgot about the fourth pillar, gas lighting. If you can find a 16 GB 5060

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Ti in stock for near MSRP, it's not the

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worst option, but it's also a great time

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to consider rehoming a used card instead. It will appreciate and love you

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more. It might have a smell to it. We got to give NVIDIA credit where it's

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due, though. They did just release a new GPU driver that appears to fix many of

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the recurring glitches that have plagued RTX 40 and 50 series cards lately. After

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first releasing the drivers that caused all those glitches, hey, maybe don't

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download the new one just yet. Wait for an eager Redditor to do the

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troubleshooting for you and post the all clear. NVIDIA's got some troubleshooting

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of their own to do, though. According to a filing the company made to the SEC,

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which revealed to the public the US government's new export license

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requirement for AI chips, NVIDIA estimates they could be out $5.5 billion

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thanks to the new policy. While in a similar filing, AMD reckons they're

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looking at a financial hit of 800 million. That's because according to

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industry analysts, the export license requirement is effectively a sales ban

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preventing chip companies from squeezing any profit out of all these chips they

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made. They're just going to sit on shelves in the warehouse now for god

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knows how long. It could go bad.

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The license requirement obviously represents the US trying to hurt China's

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AI development. But China might not need American chips soon if Huawei's claim

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about their new cloud matrix systems are true. They reportedly match or exceed

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the performance of NVIDIA's NVL72 systems, but require more power to do

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so. Oh no. What's the CCP to do? Funnel

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their national energy resources to develop super intelligent AI before

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America does. Yeah. Yeah. Probably that.

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Yeah, probably. They got dams. Speaking of AI, Open AI's developing a social

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network because the world can get worse. According to company sources who spoke

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with the Verge, the prototype platform is reportedly designed to facilitate

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sharing images generated by ChatGB2. This is real. Uh providing a safe space

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for users tired of posting that on other social platforms and getting flamed for

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being cringe. You know, they asked Grock about this and it confirmed they're

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being treated unfairly. There might be something to this report. Sam Alman

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tweeted, "Okay, fine. Maybe we'll do a social app." In February, in response to

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Meta developing a standalone AI app to compete with Chat GBT, Sam went on to

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tweet, "lol if Facebook tries to come at us, we just uno reverse them. It would

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be so funny crying, laughing emoji." Which is ironic because it would be even

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funnier to see Sam Alman display a human emotion other than anxious

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self-importance.

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He looks like that. Hey, if Elon Musk can buy his social media company with

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his AI company, then OpenAI can build a

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new social network. Why not? In terms of official announcements though, OpenAI

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launched yet more models 03 and 04 mini.

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They're reasoning models, but they can now reason directly with images for the

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first time in what OpenAI calls a converging of their O and GPT series

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models. And it's about time because there are too many damn models. And not

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at the link in the video description. Back to you,

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Riley. I think about my mama's tech news sometimes. Well, she could, bless her

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heart, could never quite get the quick bits right. The US Department of

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Homeland Security pulled funding for the common vulnerabilities and exposures or

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CBE database yesterday, shocking the global cyber security industry. who

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depends on the database for identification of vulnerabilities. Thankfully, another

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government entity, the Cyber Security and Infrastructure Security Agency or

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HISHA, stepped in this morning to say, "Chill, everyone, chill. We'll fund it."

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However, it's understandable that CVE board members moved to establish the CVE

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Foundation, a nonprofit that could keep the database alive if Uncle Sam randomly

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and drastically changes his mind, a normal and regular thing that occurs all

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the time. Now, in other cyber security dystopia news, Doge pressured an entire

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Pentagon division focused on digital defense into resigning. Just a typical

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Wednesday with the big man. Speaking of hacking, the internet's very own hive of

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scum and villain 4chan was taken down yesterday in what's being described as a

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pretty comprehensive own and is still largely unavailable at the time of

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writing is what we're hearing from other people. Anyway, members of Soy Jack, a

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rival image board that split off from 4chan some time ago, took responsibility

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for the hack, claiming to have leaked website code and emails between mods.

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Let this be a lesson. Meme war is hell

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and there are no soy boys in foxholes. Oh my god, a bomb. Speaking of websites

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being down, Zoom was down for a while today. Oh, I haven't heard that since the pandemic. Zoom granting remote

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workers a reprieve from attending web meetings. It's back up now, but I

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imagine those few precious hours were glorious. In other completely unrelated

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news, because I didn't know where else to put it, Google's giving Android phones their own version of iOS 18's

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inactivity reboot, which will force devices to restart after 3 days of

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inactivity, which should help prevent unauthorized access and Tik Toks jumping

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on the community notes train calling their version footnotes, so they're

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easier for Tik Tok users to ignore won't help at all. And ASUS has posted a

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confusing reveal of something called the ROG XG Mobile. The announcement video

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made it sort of look like a mini PC, but then they pop open the kickstand and

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we're back to square one. What is it? Some viewers didn't really know what to

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say, writing, what is this? Can I connect monitor? It also looked kind of

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dirty, like they forgot to wipe the fingerprints off before you realized,

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oh, that's a semi-transparent cover showing the electronics underneath. And

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oh, this is an external GPU and Thunderbolt 5 doc. And the ROG XG Mobile

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is mobile. If you put it in its stand,

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then in another stand, then in a box, which goes in another box with a handle,

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so you can carry it. Holy

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cow. I mean, that thing's moving. You have to plug it in. It's about as mobile

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as a Mac Mini, but at least I know what it is now. Yeah, mobile. Get a long

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cable. We're all mobile. We'll get all tangled up like a rat king. And you know

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what rat kings are, too. And if you don't know what a rat king is, come here

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on Friday for more tech news. Cuz that's what my mama used to say all the time. I

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There's no way.
