{"video_id":"YoGoayBUR-Y","title":"Please, Make It Slop - DLSS 5","channel":"TechLinked","show":"TechLinked","published_at":"2026-04-04T14:53:29Z","duration_s":576,"segments":[{"start_s":0.0,"end_s":8.08,"text":"I believe I've detected a pattern in today's tech news. Every story is","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":3.92,"end_s":10.08,"text":"connected. A message being sent to us","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":8.08,"end_s":13.84,"text":"by someone. Keep watching and you'll see old Jimmy ain't so crazy after all.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":12.8,"end_s":21.48,"text":">> JIMMY'S NO ONE ELSE. NVIDIA HAS UNVEILED THEIR NEWEST UPSCALING TECH, DLSS 5, which now stands","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":18.04,"end_s":23.48,"text":"for damn low-key slop, sis. Or might as","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":21.48,"end_s":27.32,"text":"well, because watching the demo video feels like your finger slipped and you","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":25.32,"end_s":31.36,"text":"accidentally opened Facebook again. And not Marketplace, which is allowed.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":29.12,"end_s":34.44,"text":">> Shrimp Jesus, I missed you. NVIDIA seems to have thought the best way to continue","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":32.8,"end_s":41.24,"text":"developing their genuinely impressive DLSS tech was to run every frame through","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":37.4,"end_s":42.52,"text":"an AI yassify filter, making sure the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":41.24,"end_s":47.12,"text":"prompt contains the keywords photorealistic, skilled photographer,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":44.68,"end_s":50.0,"text":"cinematic color grading. Oh, sorry. NVIDIA responded to the flood of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":48.64,"end_s":55.08,"text":"negative comments on the announcement video by clarifying it's not a filter.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":52.84,"end_s":60.96,"text":"It inputs the game's color and motion vectors for each frame into the model.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":57.28,"end_s":63.76,"text":"And uh it infuses pixels with photo real","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":60.96,"end_s":66.92,"text":"lighting and material, which just sounds like explaining how an AI filter works.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":65.8,"end_s":71.4,"text":"But hey, I'm not an expert. This isn't leather.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":69.48,"end_s":75.0,"text":"NVIDIA says this is the company's most significant breakthrough in computer","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":72.92,"end_s":79.88,"text":"graphics since the debut of real-time ray tracing in 2018. It's so powerful","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":77.6,"end_s":83.16,"text":"they needed two RTX 5090s to run the demo. The first one actually [music]","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":81.32,"end_s":88.48,"text":"rendered the game while the second one was on slopification duty. Now, to be","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":85.92,"end_s":93.0,"text":"fair, in that pinned comment, NVIDIA did say developers will be able to tweak","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":90.28,"end_s":96.32,"text":"DLSS 5's effects. So maybe [music] there will be less slopified versions of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":94.76,"end_s":100.0,"text":"this. But I guess we'll find out when it launches this fall. NVIDIA announced","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":97.8,"end_s":104.2,"text":"some other stuff at GTC, but I wouldn't worry about them. The keynote was mostly","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":101.92,"end_s":107.04,"text":"CEO Jensen Huang's excuse to rant at a captive audience about vertically","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":105.6,"end_s":111.6,"text":"integrated accelerated computing infrastructure for 2 hours. See? You","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":109.4,"end_s":115.84,"text":"just fell asleep for a second. Microsoft has confirmed that some Samsung PCs","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":113.64,"end_s":119.68,"text":"running Windows 11 are losing access to their C drive after installing last","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":117.88,"end_s":123.72,"text":"month's security update. God damn it, Windows. March was going so good for","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":121.84,"end_s":127.52,"text":"you. The company's known issues page noted that some users are getting hit","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":125.36,"end_s":132.64,"text":"with access denied errors when trying to access C with the same access issue also","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":130.28,"end_s":136.2,"text":"cropping up with various apps and system utilities. And if anyone asks, this is","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":134.72,"end_s":140.826,"text":"the reason why I haven't responded to emails for the last couple of weeks. You don't have a Samsung laptop.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":139.64,"end_s":145.36,"text":"You were just stressed. >> [laughter] >> Over on Reddit, users have been sharing","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":143.08,"end_s":149.12,"text":"home-brewed fixes that involve logging in as an admin and manually restoring","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":147.36,"end_s":152.56,"text":"security permissions. Fortunately for Microsoft though, this actually seems to","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":150.959,"end_s":157.0,"text":"be more of a Samsung issue than a Windows one. Because after a joint","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":154.36,"end_s":161.8,"text":"investigation, Microsoft identified the real culprit as Samsung's Galaxy Connect","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":159.52,"end_s":166.0,"text":"app, the son of a Microsoft has since pulled the app from the store and","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":163.48,"end_s":171.28,"text":"Samsung has republished a stable older version. Though recovery for already","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":168.08,"end_s":173.08,"text":"affected devices remains limited.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":171.28,"end_s":177.959,"text":"That said, it's not all L's for Windows users as new Insider builds now support","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":175.6,"end_s":179.72,"text":"monitor refresh rates above 1,000 Hz. Finally.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":179.472,"end_s":186.48,"text":">> [laughter] >> With the possible ceiling reportedly raised all the way to 5,000 Hz. So for","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":184.28,"end_s":191.16,"text":"those of you rocking the 1,000 Hz Predator X6 monitor, you're finally","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":188.92,"end_s":195.6,"text":"going to be getting what you paid for. A barely perceptible decrease in motion","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":193.56,"end_s":200.8,"text":"blur. ASRock just quietly revealed its second motherboard that supports both","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":197.519,"end_s":202.84,"text":"DDR4 and DDR5 on the same board, giving","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":200.8,"end_s":208.72,"text":"budget builders a fighting chance at actually assembling a PC in today's","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":205.08,"end_s":211.239,"text":"economy. The H610M Combo 2 is a budget","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":208.72,"end_s":216.04,"text":"12th through 14th gen Intel motherboard with three DIMM slots, two for DDR5 and","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":213.28,"end_s":221.04,"text":"a one lone DDR4 slot. You can't use both types simultaneously and since there is","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":218.76,"end_s":224.36,"text":"only one DDR4 slot, you'd be stuck in single channel.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":222.72,"end_s":228.44,"text":"But at least with this motherboard you get options. ASRock actually released a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":226.84,"end_s":232.6,"text":"bigger version of this bad boy back in December with six RAM slots and dual","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":230.92,"end_s":237.28,"text":"channel support for the older DIMs, but this combo 2 version shrinks things down","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":235.16,"end_s":240.48,"text":"to hopefully come in a little cheaper because that's the whole point, right?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":239.2,"end_s":244.68,"text":"Although ASRock has yet to confirm pricing. At least they have some time. A","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":242.92,"end_s":250.72,"text":"report from South Korea's Chosun Biz says Samsung internally expects the RAM","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":246.959,"end_s":252.72,"text":"shortage to last until late 2028.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":250.72,"end_s":256.56,"text":"Existential dread. With manufacturers now hesitant to build too much new","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":254.84,"end_s":261.28,"text":"capacity for fear of over investing before the AI boom cools off.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":259.079,"end_s":265.68,"text":">> When the AI boom people get tired of it. So if you're building a PC anytime soon,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":263.48,"end_s":268.64,"text":"maybe light a candle for your wallet and then sell the candle because you're","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":267.08,"end_s":273.2,"text":"going to need the money for a single stick of DDR4 memory","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":270.64,"end_s":276.96,"text":"to sit beside your empty DDR5 slots. Plus this sick deal from our sponsor","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":275.48,"end_s":282.08,"text":"Yeah. Odoo, running a restaurant. It is like","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":279.56,"end_s":286.56,"text":"making a souffle. One wrong move and everything collapse. You have the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":283.96,"end_s":294.0,"text":"inventory, the employees, the invoices, the customers who want to order","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":289.24,"end_s":296.2,"text":"off menu. Ugh, it is too much. But Odoo,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":294.0,"end_s":301.4,"text":"she brings everything together in one platform. A full suite of integrated","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":298.48,"end_s":306.2,"text":"apps and much like ingredients in a croquembouche, you only use the ones you","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":303.84,"end_s":310.2,"text":"need. And if you only need one, it is free.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":307.44,"end_s":315.48,"text":"Magnifique. Take inventory. I set up smart replenishment rules and Odoo","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":312.96,"end_s":319.96,"text":"proposes and triggers purchase orders automatically. No more running out of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":317.36,"end_s":325.0,"text":"butter at 8:00 p.m. on a Friday. She is an automate vendor follow-up, so I do","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":322.36,"end_s":329.36,"text":"not have to call the truffle guy again. I do not like to talk to him. He ran","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":327.24,"end_s":334.68,"text":"away with my wife to the hills of Cologne. The interface","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":332.0,"end_s":340.36,"text":"is user-friendly and customizable, which is good because I am an artist, not a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":337.4,"end_s":344.24,"text":"computer person. Use our link for a free 15-day trial. No credit card required.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":342.96,"end_s":349.24,"text":"Now, please get out of my kitchen.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":345.96,"end_s":349.24,"text":"There customers waiting.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":350.12,"end_s":355.64,"text":"Go. Okay, so the QuickBits threw a bit of a wrench in my conspiracy theory","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":353.8,"end_s":359.8,"text":"because they had too much sugar on our last stakeout and started a wrench","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":357.32,"end_s":362.04,"text":"fight. wrench","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":361.2,"end_s":368.76,"text":"threw a wrench >> Yeah. Apple just announced the AirPods Max 2 with upgraded features including","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":366.32,"end_s":373.4,"text":"studio quality mics, live translation, and a camera remote","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":371.12,"end_s":377.6,"text":"all for $549. For just $50 more, you could get the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":375.12,"end_s":383.68,"text":"MacBook Neo, an entire computer. Or for $150 more, you could get the Mac Pro","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":380.12,"end_s":385.28,"text":"wheels, which are wheels. Or for zero","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":383.68,"end_s":388.96,"text":"extra dollars, and if you're in the Seattle area, you could get a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":386.8,"end_s":391.96,"text":"flamethrower. Legally, we're not telling you to buy a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":390.4,"end_s":395.44,"text":"flamethrower. But if you had a flamethrower, you could","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":393.6,"end_s":399.32,"text":"probably get a pair of AirPods for free, kind of.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":396.919,"end_s":403.24,"text":"How? coercion The Xbox One, long considered","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":401.0,"end_s":407.64,"text":"Microsoft's most secure product ever, has finally been hacked 12 years after","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":405.28,"end_s":412.24,"text":"launch. Security researcher Markus Gaß et al.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":408.64,"end_s":414.24,"text":"unveiled the Bliss exploit at REcon 2026","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":412.24,"end_s":418.84,"text":"using precisely timed voltage glitches to bypass the console's boot ROM at the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":416.72,"end_s":423.04,"text":"silicon level, making it completely unpatchable. It only works on the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":420.8,"end_s":426.64,"text":"original chunky model and requires soldering to the motherboard, so don't","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":424.76,"end_s":430.2,"text":"get too excited. But it's a huge win for digital","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":428.6,"end_s":434.44,"text":"preservation and honestly 12 years unhacked is a solid run. The PS4 only","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":433.16,"end_s":440.2,"text":"made it three. So I guess Xbox did win at least one","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":437.56,"end_s":445.04,"text":"battle in the console war, the one that mattered the least.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":443.48,"end_s":449.12,"text":"Meta will be ending support for end-to-end encryption in Instagram DMs","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":447.16,"end_s":452.919,"text":"after May 8th. Apparently, not enough people were using the opt-in feature,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":451.56,"end_s":460.16,"text":"probably because, like me, they didn't even know about it. I could have been securely ordering Chinese peptides on","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":457.0,"end_s":462.08,"text":"the Instagrams this whole time. The","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":460.16,"end_s":465.16,"text":"company's support page warns users with encrypted chats to download their","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":463.48,"end_s":469.36,"text":"messages and media before they lose access. Given that this is coming in the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":467.4,"end_s":473.08,"text":"midst of the ongoing discussion about privacy versus safety with the EU","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":471.24,"end_s":476.52,"text":"expected to roll out new rules around encrypted chats, I wouldn't be surprised","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":475.04,"end_s":481.2,"text":"if Meta decided it wasn't worth the headache. It will be a headache, however, for the roughly seven high","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":479.6,"end_s":484.52,"text":"school kids using this feature to migrate all their hot gossip of what","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":482.88,"end_s":488.52,"text":"happened last weekend at Jenny Tabuno's pool party to another app. Niantic","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":486.88,"end_s":492.52,"text":"Spatial has partnered with Coco Robotics, giving the delivery bot","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":490.48,"end_s":497.76,"text":"company access to a visual positioning system trained on over 30 billion images","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":495.0,"end_s":502.12,"text":"from Pokémon GO players. All those years of scanning PokéStops and gyms created a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":499.8,"end_s":508.4,"text":"centimeter accurate map of city streets ripe for a new Clankomon to be guided","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":505.28,"end_s":510.44,"text":"around where GPS doesn't cut it. Niantic","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":508.4,"end_s":514.4,"text":"used synergy. Niantic CEO John Hanke said getting","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":512.44,"end_s":519.039,"text":"Pikachu to realistically run around and getting Coco's robots to safely navigate","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":516.479,"end_s":523.76,"text":"the world is actually the same problem. So, this isn't as weird as it sounds.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":521.64,"end_s":527.96,"text":"Guess that Pokémon X Domino's ad from 2009 was just foreshadowing. And","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":526.36,"end_s":532.36,"text":"Noctua's teasing what appears to be the Antec Flux Pro Noctua edition, a full","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":530.36,"end_s":536.68,"text":"tower case decked out in their signature brown with a wood grain front panel","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":534.8,"end_s":541.92,"text":"first shown off at Computex last year. It ships with six of Noctua's premium G2","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":539.2,"end_s":545.2,"text":"fans, about $250 worth alone, but it could come with an unrefrigerated tub of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":543.44,"end_s":549.88,"text":"cottage cheese. It still wouldn't dampen the hype for a new product from the only","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":547.52,"end_s":553.52,"text":"PC gaming hardware company with actual taste. Everything's brown, but it's a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":551.88,"end_s":556.64,"text":"nice brown. Like a station wagon.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":555.2,"end_s":562.48,"text":"And that's just a taste of all the fresh tech news you'll get when you come back on Wednesday. And look, I'll be honest","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":560.12,"end_s":566.68,"text":"with you. I could not connect the dots of this conspiracy, but I did use a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":564.8,"end_s":570.96,"text":"bunch of red string for my unhinged conspiracy board, and I think it looks","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":568.88,"end_s":574.96,"text":"pretty cool. Follow me on Pinterest. It's just off screen. I could get it.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":573.28,"end_s":577.64,"text":"But it's big, and maybe next time.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0}],"full_text":"I believe I've detected a pattern in today's tech news. Every story is connected. A message being sent to us by someone. Keep watching and you'll see old Jimmy ain't so crazy after all. >> JIMMY'S NO ONE ELSE. NVIDIA HAS UNVEILED THEIR NEWEST UPSCALING TECH, DLSS 5, which now stands for damn low-key slop, sis. Or might as well, because watching the demo video feels like your finger slipped and you accidentally opened Facebook again. And not Marketplace, which is allowed. >> Shrimp Jesus, I missed you. NVIDIA seems to have thought the best way to continue developing their genuinely impressive DLSS tech was to run every frame through an AI yassify filter, making sure the prompt contains the keywords photorealistic, skilled photographer, cinematic color grading. Oh, sorry. NVIDIA responded to the flood of negative comments on the announcement video by clarifying it's not a filter. It inputs the game's color and motion vectors for each frame into the model. And uh it infuses pixels with photo real lighting and material, which just sounds like explaining how an AI filter works. But hey, I'm not an expert. This isn't leather. NVIDIA says this is the company's most significant breakthrough in computer graphics since the debut of real-time ray tracing in 2018. It's so powerful they needed two RTX 5090s to run the demo. The first one actually [music] rendered the game while the second one was on slopification duty. Now, to be fair, in that pinned comment, NVIDIA did say developers will be able to tweak DLSS 5's effects. So maybe [music] there will be less slopified versions of this. But I guess we'll find out when it launches this fall. NVIDIA announced some other stuff at GTC, but I wouldn't worry about them. The keynote was mostly CEO Jensen Huang's excuse to rant at a captive audience about vertically integrated accelerated computing infrastructure for 2 hours. See? You just fell asleep for a second. Microsoft has confirmed that some Samsung PCs running Windows 11 are losing access to their C drive after installing last month's security update. God damn it, Windows. March was going so good for you. The company's known issues page noted that some users are getting hit with access denied errors when trying to access C with the same access issue also cropping up with various apps and system utilities. And if anyone asks, this is the reason why I haven't responded to emails for the last couple of weeks. You don't have a Samsung laptop. You were just stressed. >> [laughter] >> Over on Reddit, users have been sharing home-brewed fixes that involve logging in as an admin and manually restoring security permissions. Fortunately for Microsoft though, this actually seems to be more of a Samsung issue than a Windows one. Because after a joint investigation, Microsoft identified the real culprit as Samsung's Galaxy Connect app, the son of a Microsoft has since pulled the app from the store and Samsung has republished a stable older version. Though recovery for already affected devices remains limited. That said, it's not all L's for Windows users as new Insider builds now support monitor refresh rates above 1,000 Hz. Finally. >> [laughter] >> With the possible ceiling reportedly raised all the way to 5,000 Hz. So for those of you rocking the 1,000 Hz Predator X6 monitor, you're finally going to be getting what you paid for. A barely perceptible decrease in motion blur. ASRock just quietly revealed its second motherboard that supports both DDR4 and DDR5 on the same board, giving budget builders a fighting chance at actually assembling a PC in today's economy. The H610M Combo 2 is a budget 12th through 14th gen Intel motherboard with three DIMM slots, two for DDR5 and a one lone DDR4 slot. You can't use both types simultaneously and since there is only one DDR4 slot, you'd be stuck in single channel. But at least with this motherboard you get options. ASRock actually released a bigger version of this bad boy back in December with six RAM slots and dual channel support for the older DIMs, but this combo 2 version shrinks things down to hopefully come in a little cheaper because that's the whole point, right? Although ASRock has yet to confirm pricing. At least they have some time. A report from South Korea's Chosun Biz says Samsung internally expects the RAM shortage to last until late 2028. Existential dread. With manufacturers now hesitant to build too much new capacity for fear of over investing before the AI boom cools off. >> When the AI boom people get tired of it. So if you're building a PC anytime soon, maybe light a candle for your wallet and then sell the candle because you're going to need the money for a single stick of DDR4 memory to sit beside your empty DDR5 slots. Plus this sick deal from our sponsor Yeah. Odoo, running a restaurant. It is like making a souffle. One wrong move and everything collapse. You have the inventory, the employees, the invoices, the customers who want to order off menu. Ugh, it is too much. But Odoo, she brings everything together in one platform. A full suite of integrated apps and much like ingredients in a croquembouche, you only use the ones you need. And if you only need one, it is free. Magnifique. Take inventory. I set up smart replenishment rules and Odoo proposes and triggers purchase orders automatically. No more running out of butter at 8:00 p.m. on a Friday. She is an automate vendor follow-up, so I do not have to call the truffle guy again. I do not like to talk to him. He ran away with my wife to the hills of Cologne. The interface is user-friendly and customizable, which is good because I am an artist, not a computer person. Use our link for a free 15-day trial. No credit card required. Now, please get out of my kitchen. There customers waiting. Go. Okay, so the QuickBits threw a bit of a wrench in my conspiracy theory because they had too much sugar on our last stakeout and started a wrench fight. wrench threw a wrench >> Yeah. Apple just announced the AirPods Max 2 with upgraded features including studio quality mics, live translation, and a camera remote all for $549. For just $50 more, you could get the MacBook Neo, an entire computer. Or for $150 more, you could get the Mac Pro wheels, which are wheels. Or for zero extra dollars, and if you're in the Seattle area, you could get a flamethrower. Legally, we're not telling you to buy a flamethrower. But if you had a flamethrower, you could probably get a pair of AirPods for free, kind of. How? coercion The Xbox One, long considered Microsoft's most secure product ever, has finally been hacked 12 years after launch. Security researcher Markus Gaß et al. unveiled the Bliss exploit at REcon 2026 using precisely timed voltage glitches to bypass the console's boot ROM at the silicon level, making it completely unpatchable. It only works on the original chunky model and requires soldering to the motherboard, so don't get too excited. But it's a huge win for digital preservation and honestly 12 years unhacked is a solid run. The PS4 only made it three. So I guess Xbox did win at least one battle in the console war, the one that mattered the least. Meta will be ending support for end-to-end encryption in Instagram DMs after May 8th. Apparently, not enough people were using the opt-in feature, probably because, like me, they didn't even know about it. I could have been securely ordering Chinese peptides on the Instagrams this whole time. The company's support page warns users with encrypted chats to download their messages and media before they lose access. Given that this is coming in the midst of the ongoing discussion about privacy versus safety with the EU expected to roll out new rules around encrypted chats, I wouldn't be surprised if Meta decided it wasn't worth the headache. It will be a headache, however, for the roughly seven high school kids using this feature to migrate all their hot gossip of what happened last weekend at Jenny Tabuno's pool party to another app. Niantic Spatial has partnered with Coco Robotics, giving the delivery bot company access to a visual positioning system trained on over 30 billion images from Pokémon GO players. All those years of scanning PokéStops and gyms created a centimeter accurate map of city streets ripe for a new Clankomon to be guided around where GPS doesn't cut it. Niantic used synergy. Niantic CEO John Hanke said getting Pikachu to realistically run around and getting Coco's robots to safely navigate the world is actually the same problem. So, this isn't as weird as it sounds. Guess that Pokémon X Domino's ad from 2009 was just foreshadowing. And Noctua's teasing what appears to be the Antec Flux Pro Noctua edition, a full tower case decked out in their signature brown with a wood grain front panel first shown off at Computex last year. It ships with six of Noctua's premium G2 fans, about $250 worth alone, but it could come with an unrefrigerated tub of cottage cheese. It still wouldn't dampen the hype for a new product from the only PC gaming hardware company with actual taste. Everything's brown, but it's a nice brown. Like a station wagon. And that's just a taste of all the fresh tech news you'll get when you come back on Wednesday. And look, I'll be honest with you. I could not connect the dots of this conspiracy, but I did use a bunch of red string for my unhinged conspiracy board, and I think it looks pretty cool. Follow me on Pinterest. It's just off screen. I could get it. But it's big, and maybe next time."}