{"video_id":"XsLXqGLrRhw","title":"PAPERS, PLEASE","channel":"TechLinked","show":"TechLinked","published_at":"2026-03-05T14:53:29Z","duration_s":611,"segments":[{"start_s":0.0,"end_s":7.12,"text":"What's that boy? The tech news fell down a well? Oh, it's currently still falling","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":4.64,"end_s":11.84,"text":"down a well? It's like a bottomless well situation? So we can't do anything. You","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":9.56,"end_s":16.08,"text":"just You just wanted me to know. Good boy. Discord announced today that","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":13.64,"end_s":20.48,"text":"it's rolling out global age verification starting next month taking a teen by","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":18.48,"end_s":25.28,"text":"default approach meaning that without verification the app will default to an","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":22.52,"end_s":27.96,"text":"experience appropriate for teens. Which would include updated","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":26.4,"end_s":32.8,"text":"communication settings, restricted access to age-gated spaces, and content","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":30.56,"end_s":36.64,"text":"filtering. And will not include hanging out in a Blockbuster video parking lot","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":34.92,"end_s":40.4,"text":"firing Roman candles into my friend Kyle's Honda Civic like I initially","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":38.645,"end_s":44.92,"text":"[music] assumed. In order to validate their age, users will need to either","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":42.32,"end_s":49.44,"text":"complete a facial age estimation video via selfie or submit a photo of their","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":47.4,"end_s":54.08,"text":"government ID to one of Discord's third-party vendor partners. As an added","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":51.88,"end_s":57.76,"text":"bonus, this also protects adults from being bullied by teens in age-gated","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":56.4,"end_s":62.2,"text":"servers where they come together to innocently discuss their mutual love of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":59.8,"end_s":66.52,"text":"the Minions extended cinematic universe. Discord initially tested the system in","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":64.04,"end_s":70.44,"text":"the UK and Australia last year, but now it's being rolled out globally. Critics","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":68.44,"end_s":74.28,"text":"are quick to point to the October 2025 data breach in which one of Discord's","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":72.2,"end_s":78.88,"text":"third-party vendors was compromised and approximately 70,000 users had their age","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":76.56,"end_s":83.64,"text":"verification data exposed including images of their government IDs.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":81.8,"end_s":87.16,"text":"But it's important to note that that leak was the product of a legacy age","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":85.68,"end_s":90.16,"text":"verification system that was introduced in 2020. Some of you weren't even born","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":89.16,"end_s":96.52,"text":"yet. And Discord has terminated its contract with that vendor. According to Savannah","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":93.96,"end_s":100.48,"text":"Batallich, Discord's global head of product policy, the new system uses","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":98.52,"end_s":104.4,"text":"similar face scan and ID-based verification but with a few key","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":102.36,"end_s":108.72,"text":"differences. Facial age estimation is now done entirely on device. Any ID","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":106.72,"end_s":113.04,"text":"documents submitted to vendors are in most cases deleted immediately after age","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":111.04,"end_s":117.52,"text":"confirmation. And Batallich says that if the age estimation from the selfie is","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":115.4,"end_s":122.04,"text":"incorrect, you just can appeal it or verify with a photo of a government ID","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":119.44,"end_s":125.6,"text":"instead. Discord is also rolling out an age inference model that runs in the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":123.64,"end_s":129.88,"text":"background and analyzes metadata like the types of games a user plays, their","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":128.28,"end_s":133.64,"text":"activity on Discord, and behavioral signals to estimate age. So, if Discord","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":132.0,"end_s":137.2,"text":"notices that you're listening to S Club 7 and pausing your game every 30 minutes","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":135.36,"end_s":141.48,"text":"or so to go pee, it will assume, correctly, you're 45 years old and","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":139.88,"end_s":145.72,"text":"probably also hopefully send a message to your urologist. Or remind you about","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":143.56,"end_s":148.76,"text":"what the actual daily recommended intake is for Mountain Dew.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":147.04,"end_s":151.08,"text":">> It's zero. Unless it's Code Red.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":150.651,"end_s":158.32,"text":">> [laughter] >> Then it's a lot. >> AMD's beastly Strix Halo APU has arrived","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":155.24,"end_s":159.84,"text":"in another handheld, the AYANEO NEXT 2.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":158.32,"end_s":164.8,"text":"But, unlike existing Strix Halo handhelds, this one doesn't need an","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":162.04,"end_s":169.2,"text":"external battery or external validation. She knows who she is. And that's a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":166.72,"end_s":173.24,"text":"handheld with a massive 116 watt-hour internal battery. It's bigger than most","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":171.28,"end_s":176.64,"text":"gaming laptop batteries and could even cause you trouble at the airport. So,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":175.2,"end_s":180.92,"text":"that's how you know it's bad. >> They could never They won't take me.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":178.32,"end_s":184.8,"text":">> to have to pat me down. The NEXT 2 has some other impressive specs, too, which","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":182.92,"end_s":190.2,"text":"I guess is partially why AYANEO is okay with pricing the base model at 2,700 US","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":188.12,"end_s":195.0,"text":"dollars. Although, the early bird price on Indiegogo is 2,300. And that's","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":192.84,"end_s":197.519,"text":"expensive, but like this is a new generation flagship Windows handheld for","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":196.519,"end_s":201.44,"text":"the future masterpiece beyond imagination we're talking about here.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":199.6,"end_s":206.44,"text":"And sure, you could also say that the other Strix Halo handhelds, the GPD Win","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":204.32,"end_s":211.519,"text":"5 starting at 2,500 bucks and the 1XPlayer 1X Fly Apex for 2,200 bucks are","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":210.08,"end_s":216.04,"text":"also handhelds for the future masterpiece beyond imagination, but they","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":213.4,"end_s":219.68,"text":"need external battery packs. Regardless, they're all too expensive. So, hopefully","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":217.56,"end_s":224.64,"text":"soon we'll see handhelds sporting those two new Strix Halo variants that AMD","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":221.92,"end_s":230.2,"text":"announced at CES 2026 with fewer CPU cores, but the same graphics power as","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":226.64,"end_s":232.44,"text":"the flagship Ryzen AI Max Plus 395,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":230.2,"end_s":235.92,"text":"which could end up being a bit cheaper. I think I might like one wearing a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":233.72,"end_s":239.32,"text":"little battery backpack though. I can imagine it's carrying its favorite","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":237.16,"end_s":241.52,"text":"treasures in there. For me, that's our sponsor.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":240.92,"end_s":246.68,"text":"Ha! Didn't see that one coming.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":243.92,"end_s":250.8,"text":"Play Tracker. Howdy partners. Out here in the west, you got to keep track of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":248.32,"end_s":256.079,"text":"your herd. And Play Tracker does exactly that for your gaming library. This app","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":253.72,"end_s":261.0,"text":"rounds up all your games from Steam, Xbox, PlayStation, GOG, and EA. So, you","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":259.359,"end_s":265.8,"text":"can easily wrangle your whole collection. But, it ain't just about the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":262.8,"end_s":268.28,"text":"games. Earn XP, level up, and unlock","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":265.8,"end_s":272.8,"text":"rewards no matter where you play. Build yourself a unified profile, a monument","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":270.76,"end_s":277.08,"text":"to your gaming career. Something that'll live on long after you hang up those","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":274.96,"end_s":281.28,"text":"spurs. Track your stats with fancy graphs and connect with your posse","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":279.04,"end_s":285.72,"text":"across any platform. They've even got giveaways you can enter by completing","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":283.36,"end_s":289.56,"text":"challenges and clearing that backlog you've been ignoring. Heck. And it's","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":287.64,"end_s":293.44,"text":"built by a small outfit that's always happy to hear your feedback. Check out","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":291.52,"end_s":299.36,"text":"Play Tracker for free using our link below and get your herd under control.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":297.48,"end_s":304.44,"text":"Yeehaw! This is what What is this? All right, we","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":1},{"start_s":301.76,"end_s":307.68,"text":"got the tech news out of the way. But, What's that?","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":305.72,"end_s":311.0,"text":"The quick bits are down there now? God damn it!","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":309.4,"end_s":316.24,"text":"Intel may have canceled the release of its Core Ultra 9 290K Plus Arrow Lake","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":314.24,"end_s":319.84,"text":"Refresh desktop processor. And I don't really know whether to mourn","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":317.76,"end_s":323.64,"text":"its death or not because we only just heard about it today. So sad.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":321.88,"end_s":327.0,"text":">> Insider sources apparently told videocards.com","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":325.24,"end_s":333.12,"text":"of the cancellation, but said other Arrow Lake Refresh parts, a 270K Plus","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":329.68,"end_s":334.56,"text":"and a 250K Plus, are still coming. And","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":333.12,"end_s":339.48,"text":"there is some weight to the Arrow Lake Refresh rumor since ASUS posted and","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":337.0,"end_s":343.6,"text":"deleted tweets about it featuring these images with graceful robot hands holding","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":341.919,"end_s":346.28,"text":"motherboards. They're coming for your hand model jobs. Somewhat reliable","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":345.32,"end_s":353.28,"text":"leaker claimed the embargo Pro claimed the embargo will lift on","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":350.36,"end_s":355.92,"text":"March 23rd in a tweet with a saddening lack of robot hands. Or any hands at","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":355.52,"end_s":360.72,"text":"all. >> At least you got a job, pal. Good news, everybody. They don't write these voices","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":359.36,"end_s":364.04,"text":"in, I just do those. They've added Copilot to the Windows 11 setup","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":362.4,"end_s":367.8,"text":"experience. So, if you need to download a large update when booting your new PC","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":366.08,"end_s":371.6,"text":"for the first time, you can chat with Microsoft's helpful little harbinger of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":369.52,"end_s":375.44,"text":"humanity's downfall, and even ask it to generate images of yourself doing what","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":373.8,"end_s":379.28,"text":"you're doing. Talking to computer as if it's people.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":377.08,"end_s":383.2,"text":"Really, if if you could, please, do anything with Copilot.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":381.8,"end_s":388.2,"text":"Microsoft would love to tell their investors you guys did that once or twice. VPN provider","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":386.64,"end_s":392.8,"text":"Windscribe has claimed that Dutch authorities, who are the best authorities, seized one of their","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":390.88,"end_s":396.64,"text":"physical servers, just yanked it right out of the rack without a warrant,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":394.64,"end_s":400.88,"text":"noting that because they use RAM disk servers, the cops won't find anything on","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":398.56,"end_s":404.849,"text":"there unless you count the unredacted EP Stein files.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":402.829,"end_s":408.28,"text":">> [laughter] >> They cuz they said that. Unfortunately,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":407.24,"end_s":413.28,"text":"there doesn't appear to be any supporting evidence that this seizure actually happened other than","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":411.6,"end_s":416.76,"text":"Windscribe's own tweet, leading some observers to be skeptical of the whole","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":415.0,"end_s":420.04,"text":"thing. The vibe is off. It's like, Dbrand did edgy marketing, so I can do","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":418.76,"end_s":423.96,"text":"it, too. I'm not so sure. OpenAI is allegedly","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":421.84,"end_s":427.76,"text":"scaling back its first consumer hardware product, a pair of AI earbuds developed","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":425.919,"end_s":432.8,"text":"in partnership with Apple's famous designer Jony Ive. According to Twitter","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":430.0,"end_s":436.96,"text":"leaker Pikachu, a patent filing in China revealed that the earbuds will go to","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":434.08,"end_s":440.36,"text":"market under the name Dime, or Dime if you're Spanish. And while initially","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":438.8,"end_s":445.16,"text":"billed as a device with phone-level computing power, it's now being scaled","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":442.2,"end_s":449.56,"text":"back to something more like regular earbuds. No! Smart Pikachu was","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":448.44,"end_s":454.84,"text":"apparently banned from Twitter for bringing us this information. >> not so smart. According to the post,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":453.28,"end_s":458.72,"text":"soaring memory costs made the original bill of materials too expensive, so the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":456.68,"end_s":463.32,"text":"enhanced features have been delayed. >> The memory crisis tolls for thee, thou","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":460.56,"end_s":468.04,"text":"molten men! Speaking of accent losers, Elon Musk announced on X yesterday that","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":465.4,"end_s":472.96,"text":"SpaceX That's so many X's. Has shifted its near-term focus from settling Mars","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":470.16,"end_s":477.56,"text":"to building a self-growing city on the moon. Whatever that means. This is a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":475.48,"end_s":482.04,"text":"complete 180 from Musk, who just last year called the moon a distraction. Why","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":480.04,"end_s":485.8,"text":"the change of heart? In his tweet, Musk cites the moon's proximity as the reason","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":483.96,"end_s":490.8,"text":"for the shift, evidently only now realizing that Mars","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":487.76,"end_s":493.24,"text":"is farther from Earth than the moon.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":490.8,"end_s":497.2,"text":"By a lot. Truly a genius of our time. Ars Technica made the point with the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":494.72,"end_s":501.72,"text":"success of Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin rocket flights and their team going all","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":499.32,"end_s":506.12,"text":"in on lunar exploration, Musk needs to get there first or risk losing the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":503.52,"end_s":509.68,"text":"economic high ground. Also, the the dick measuring contest. So, much like","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":508.2,"end_s":512.8,"text":"shifting Tesla factories to robot production or pushing full self-driving","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":511.6,"end_s":517.36,"text":"subscriptions to unlock his trillion-dollar pay package. For Elon,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":515.0,"end_s":521.84,"text":"it's less about human advancement and more about getting that cake. Leaving no","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":520.12,"end_s":525.56,"text":"crumbs. I mean, what's the point of unleashing hordes of potentially","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":523.159,"end_s":529.64,"text":"murderous robots and cars onto the world if you can't even retreat to your own","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":527.36,"end_s":531.68,"text":"self-growing moon city if things go sideways. You don't have 8 months to get","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":531.12,"end_s":537.68,"text":"to Mars. >> There's no point. You need a self-growing city. And","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":535.36,"end_s":542.52,"text":"Harvard engineers have 3D printed soft robots that bend, twist, and grasp on","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":540.44,"end_s":546.08,"text":"command by embedding air channels directly into the material using a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":544.16,"end_s":549.16,"text":"rotating nozzle. You pump air through the channels and the structure moves in","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":547.64,"end_s":553.44,"text":"whatever direction was programmed during printing. The team demonstrated a","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":550.92,"end_s":558.28,"text":"gripper with articulated fingers that curl around objects and a spiral","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":555.839,"end_s":561.76,"text":"actuator that unfurls like a flower. The team says they intend to use the","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":559.92,"end_s":566.48,"text":"technology for advanced surgical tools and wearable devices and definitely not","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":564.12,"end_s":569.72,"text":"for sex. Unlike Moya, Droid Ups' new humanoid robot that the company is","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":567.96,"end_s":573.4,"text":"calling the world's first fully biomimetic robot, and which we're","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":571.88,"end_s":577.88,"text":"calling an obvious attempt to make a real-life anime waifu. Somebody has to.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":576.32,"end_s":582.84,"text":"But she's not Japanese, Riley. Like all the best waifus, Moya walks with 92%","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":580.8,"end_s":589.32,"text":"human-like accuracy. I'm willing to wager that 8% matters. Maintains a body","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":585.72,"end_s":591.2,"text":"temperature between 89.6 and 96.8° F,","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":589.32,"end_s":594.48,"text":"and has a bunch of promo videos that feature an unusually high number of","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":593.32,"end_s":598.52,"text":"shots of its ass. >> I ain't buying any robot with no ass.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":597.16,"end_s":604.56,"text":"And that's all the news we're pulling out of the well today. Come back Wednesday when the tech news inevitably","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":601.96,"end_s":608.44,"text":"falls back in. It is famously uncoordinated. Way too big of an ass.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":606.96,"end_s":612.92,"text":">> Wagon. Can't walk. >> Absolute","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0},{"start_s":610.4,"end_s":612.92,"text":"rump.","speaker":null,"is_sponsor":0}],"full_text":"What's that boy? The tech news fell down a well? Oh, it's currently still falling down a well? It's like a bottomless well situation? So we can't do anything. You just You just wanted me to know. Good boy. Discord announced today that it's rolling out global age verification starting next month taking a teen by default approach meaning that without verification the app will default to an experience appropriate for teens. Which would include updated communication settings, restricted access to age-gated spaces, and content filtering. And will not include hanging out in a Blockbuster video parking lot firing Roman candles into my friend Kyle's Honda Civic like I initially [music] assumed. In order to validate their age, users will need to either complete a facial age estimation video via selfie or submit a photo of their government ID to one of Discord's third-party vendor partners. As an added bonus, this also protects adults from being bullied by teens in age-gated servers where they come together to innocently discuss their mutual love of the Minions extended cinematic universe. Discord initially tested the system in the UK and Australia last year, but now it's being rolled out globally. Critics are quick to point to the October 2025 data breach in which one of Discord's third-party vendors was compromised and approximately 70,000 users had their age verification data exposed including images of their government IDs. But it's important to note that that leak was the product of a legacy age verification system that was introduced in 2020. Some of you weren't even born yet. And Discord has terminated its contract with that vendor. According to Savannah Batallich, Discord's global head of product policy, the new system uses similar face scan and ID-based verification but with a few key differences. Facial age estimation is now done entirely on device. Any ID documents submitted to vendors are in most cases deleted immediately after age confirmation. And Batallich says that if the age estimation from the selfie is incorrect, you just can appeal it or verify with a photo of a government ID instead. Discord is also rolling out an age inference model that runs in the background and analyzes metadata like the types of games a user plays, their activity on Discord, and behavioral signals to estimate age. So, if Discord notices that you're listening to S Club 7 and pausing your game every 30 minutes or so to go pee, it will assume, correctly, you're 45 years old and probably also hopefully send a message to your urologist. Or remind you about what the actual daily recommended intake is for Mountain Dew. >> It's zero. Unless it's Code Red. >> [laughter] >> Then it's a lot. >> AMD's beastly Strix Halo APU has arrived in another handheld, the AYANEO NEXT 2. But, unlike existing Strix Halo handhelds, this one doesn't need an external battery or external validation. She knows who she is. And that's a handheld with a massive 116 watt-hour internal battery. It's bigger than most gaming laptop batteries and could even cause you trouble at the airport. So, that's how you know it's bad. >> They could never They won't take me. >> to have to pat me down. The NEXT 2 has some other impressive specs, too, which I guess is partially why AYANEO is okay with pricing the base model at 2,700 US dollars. Although, the early bird price on Indiegogo is 2,300. And that's expensive, but like this is a new generation flagship Windows handheld for the future masterpiece beyond imagination we're talking about here. And sure, you could also say that the other Strix Halo handhelds, the GPD Win 5 starting at 2,500 bucks and the 1XPlayer 1X Fly Apex for 2,200 bucks are also handhelds for the future masterpiece beyond imagination, but they need external battery packs. Regardless, they're all too expensive. So, hopefully soon we'll see handhelds sporting those two new Strix Halo variants that AMD announced at CES 2026 with fewer CPU cores, but the same graphics power as the flagship Ryzen AI Max Plus 395, which could end up being a bit cheaper. I think I might like one wearing a little battery backpack though. I can imagine it's carrying its favorite treasures in there. For me, that's our sponsor. Ha! Didn't see that one coming. Play Tracker. Howdy partners. Out here in the west, you got to keep track of your herd. And Play Tracker does exactly that for your gaming library. This app rounds up all your games from Steam, Xbox, PlayStation, GOG, and EA. So, you can easily wrangle your whole collection. 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So sad. >> Insider sources apparently told videocards.com of the cancellation, but said other Arrow Lake Refresh parts, a 270K Plus and a 250K Plus, are still coming. And there is some weight to the Arrow Lake Refresh rumor since ASUS posted and deleted tweets about it featuring these images with graceful robot hands holding motherboards. They're coming for your hand model jobs. Somewhat reliable leaker claimed the embargo Pro claimed the embargo will lift on March 23rd in a tweet with a saddening lack of robot hands. Or any hands at all. >> At least you got a job, pal. Good news, everybody. They don't write these voices in, I just do those. They've added Copilot to the Windows 11 setup experience. So, if you need to download a large update when booting your new PC for the first time, you can chat with Microsoft's helpful little harbinger of humanity's downfall, and even ask it to generate images of yourself doing what you're doing. Talking to computer as if it's people. Really, if if you could, please, do anything with Copilot. Microsoft would love to tell their investors you guys did that once or twice. VPN provider Windscribe has claimed that Dutch authorities, who are the best authorities, seized one of their physical servers, just yanked it right out of the rack without a warrant, noting that because they use RAM disk servers, the cops won't find anything on there unless you count the unredacted EP Stein files. >> [laughter] >> They cuz they said that. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be any supporting evidence that this seizure actually happened other than Windscribe's own tweet, leading some observers to be skeptical of the whole thing. The vibe is off. It's like, Dbrand did edgy marketing, so I can do it, too. I'm not so sure. OpenAI is allegedly scaling back its first consumer hardware product, a pair of AI earbuds developed in partnership with Apple's famous designer Jony Ive. According to Twitter leaker Pikachu, a patent filing in China revealed that the earbuds will go to market under the name Dime, or Dime if you're Spanish. And while initially billed as a device with phone-level computing power, it's now being scaled back to something more like regular earbuds. No! Smart Pikachu was apparently banned from Twitter for bringing us this information. >> not so smart. According to the post, soaring memory costs made the original bill of materials too expensive, so the enhanced features have been delayed. >> The memory crisis tolls for thee, thou molten men! Speaking of accent losers, Elon Musk announced on X yesterday that SpaceX That's so many X's. Has shifted its near-term focus from settling Mars to building a self-growing city on the moon. Whatever that means. This is a complete 180 from Musk, who just last year called the moon a distraction. Why the change of heart? In his tweet, Musk cites the moon's proximity as the reason for the shift, evidently only now realizing that Mars is farther from Earth than the moon. By a lot. Truly a genius of our time. Ars Technica made the point with the success of Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin rocket flights and their team going all in on lunar exploration, Musk needs to get there first or risk losing the economic high ground. Also, the the dick measuring contest. So, much like shifting Tesla factories to robot production or pushing full self-driving subscriptions to unlock his trillion-dollar pay package. For Elon, it's less about human advancement and more about getting that cake. Leaving no crumbs. I mean, what's the point of unleashing hordes of potentially murderous robots and cars onto the world if you can't even retreat to your own self-growing moon city if things go sideways. You don't have 8 months to get to Mars. >> There's no point. You need a self-growing city. And Harvard engineers have 3D printed soft robots that bend, twist, and grasp on command by embedding air channels directly into the material using a rotating nozzle. You pump air through the channels and the structure moves in whatever direction was programmed during printing. The team demonstrated a gripper with articulated fingers that curl around objects and a spiral actuator that unfurls like a flower. The team says they intend to use the technology for advanced surgical tools and wearable devices and definitely not for sex. Unlike Moya, Droid Ups' new humanoid robot that the company is calling the world's first fully biomimetic robot, and which we're calling an obvious attempt to make a real-life anime waifu. Somebody has to. But she's not Japanese, Riley. Like all the best waifus, Moya walks with 92% human-like accuracy. I'm willing to wager that 8% matters. Maintains a body temperature between 89.6 and 96.8° F, and has a bunch of promo videos that feature an unusually high number of shots of its ass. >> I ain't buying any robot with no ass. And that's all the news we're pulling out of the well today. Come back Wednesday when the tech news inevitably falls back in. It is famously uncoordinated. Way too big of an ass. >> Wagon. Can't walk. >> Absolute rump."}