It's time for tech news. Hi tech news.
I'm dad. I just um Sorry, I'm still
working on the dad joke thing. You'll get there. Oh, so you thought
AMD's Thread Rippers was already ripping threads as hard as it could. Well, guess
again, idiot. After much leaking, AMD
has officially unveiled Threadripper Processors. Uh, but if you are looking
forward to upgrading your own ridiculously overpowered personal PC,
bad news. They'll only be available in select pre-built workstations. The
$4,600 Lenovo P620 is the only system
featuring the chips that's announced right now. Although ASUS and Gigabyte
are reportedly working on their own units. If your company does spring for
the new models, though, you can look forward to 27% higher performance than
Intel's best competitor, the Xeon Platinum 8280. So, if you've got one of
those in your workstation, man, your threads are ripped. I feel sorry for
you. That That's called Platinum 8280. That thing sucks, man. That's You're a
loser. You'd think that You'd think that ARM, the British company making chip
designs for Apple, Qualcomm, Samsung, and an unholy number of IoT devices, is
doing just fine. But apparently, they're not making good enough returns for the
Japanese company that owns them. SoftBank is reportedly considering
selling off ARM or bringing it public at the same time that ARM is raising the
licensing fees for its processor designs by as much as four times. According to
an ARM and a leg. Bam. Get them. According to some of the
company's customers, I expect them to also ask ARM employees why they're
taking lunch breaks and going home at 5 p.m. It's like they don't even care. It
could be that now that Apple has publicly announced its shift to ARMbased
desktop processors, SoftBank thinks it has the leverage to get some extra moola
out of their investment. In any case, profits are only set to increase for ARM
as a former head of Mac development has predicted that Microsoft basically has
no choice but to ramp up development of its own high-end ARMbased solutions,
which is that's really bad news for Threadripper Pro. I mean, they just got
announced and now it's going to be all ARM. It's going to be all ARM. Shouldn't
have skipped leg day, I guess. And we've talked about AMD and ARM. Now on to
Intel, whose upcoming Alderlake desktop processors may feature the same hybrid
design seen in Intel's mobile focused Lakefield architecture. Lakefield's
hybrid design refers to processors with assorted big cores meant for heavy tasks
and little more power efficient cores meant for lighter loads. And it's
Intel's attempt at fighting ARM's ongoing incursion into the desktop
market. But as I was just saying, if the rest of the world is transitioning to
ARM, Intel might be stuck dancing by themselves in the middle of the dance
floor after everyone else has gone to the afterparty like a severed limb.
Regardless, we won't be seeing Alder Lake until after the launch of Intel's
11th gen processors. An announcement for which is apparently happening on
September 2nd. So, Intel's got some time to rework their strategy if necessary.
You're going to meet a lot of quickbits in this life. All of them delicious.
British chip designer Graphcore, who sounds like the evil nemesis of ARM or
something, has unveiled the Colossus MK2, a massive server processor for AI
applications, similar to NVIDIA's A100 machine they unveiled earlier this year.
A doomsday device. But while the A100 has 54 billion transistors, this guy has
59.4 billion, meaning it is now the world's largest processor. Now, it
remains to be seen whether NVIDIA's tech is actually more powerful. So, we're hoping to get it in the studio. Runs a
benchmark. You know, crisis, maybe. Graph core. It's Is that like nerd
metal? Look at this graph.
A Windows server vulnerability named SIG Red has been discovered by Checkpoint
Research that has lain dormant in Windows DNS systems for 17 years. The
bug is wormable, meaning the infection in one machine could easily spread
through an entire network. And these aren't the cool kind of worms that you
can use to freak out the other kids in the class. You're such a weirdo. If
you're running Windows Server, get the patch, which is available now. After
initially agreeing to a limited roll out of Huawei networking equipment, the UK
has now announced a ban on 5G gear built by the Chinese giant. American sanctions
on Huawei, which forced revisions of the company's supply chain, reportedly made
it difficult for UK officials to certify the equipment safety. Huawei 4G
equipment will be kept in use, though, so don't worry. Papa she is still
watching. He loves you very much. And honey, and he loves honey. Shop online.
Can't get enough. Apple has dodged a hefty fine after a
European court ruled that the company's practice of routing funds through
Ireland to avoid paying taxes is perfectly legal. So Tim Apple, I guess,
can still hop on over and cradle his pot of gold among the wide flowers. It's a
magical place, Ireland. I've never been, but I will be. When? What do you mean?
No, someday. And a lot of people think of robots as unfeilling machines, but
Singaporean researchers have used Intel's neuromorphic chip
ly loy to develop artificial skin for
robots that can detect touch 1,000 times
faster than human skin. So, not only
will robots be able to feel, they'll be able to feel way better than us, but it
also means they'll be a thousand times more vulnerable to tickling. So, that's how we'll win when they rise up against
us. Not today, robot. And I'm rising up against this episode continuing. It must
end. Come back on Friday for more tech news. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have
to go nap. I'm so tired. I'm exhausted.