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okay hey Hey listen listen I'm worried

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you're not getting enough Tech news but don't worry don't worry I got you I got

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you I got some for you here all right it's perfect Apple will finally allow

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the side loing of apps in the European Union later this spring and I mean

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actual side loading downloading apps directly from the developer's website

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not just from an App Store that isn't the App Store now you couldn't hear it

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but the second app store was capitalized unfortunately this doesn't quite mean

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that Apple just went full Android as put by Android police and yet another

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example of malicious compliance with the eu's digital markets act apple is

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arguably treating Dev websites worse than it's treating alternative app

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stores to be eligible to allow users to download your app from your own website

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which is kind of a wild sentence you are required to have been enrolled in the

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Apple developer program as an EU organization with good standing for 2

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years or more you must submit your apps through Apple's notarization process and

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one of your apps must have already been installed more than 1 million times on

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iOS in the EU aka the threshold to be

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eligible for the core technology fee meaning every subsequent install will

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cost you €50 cents so Craig fiki can afford his daily hair appointment and

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continue to look Exquisite do they really call them Euro cents Euro

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cents devs will have to meet a handful of other requirements while iPhone users

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will have to Wade through what seems like three or four scare screens

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designed to trigger a fight ORF flight response before they download an app

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from a website if you're covered in Cold Sweat by the time the app appears on

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your home screen Apple's done their job you wouldn't download an app notless I

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said so the European Parliament has voted to adopt the EU AI act which

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limits law enforcement's use of Biometrics and prohibits among other

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things AI enabled social scoring exploitative behavioral engineering and

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emotion recognition systems at work or school I'm going to miss those I just

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want the FBI to know when I have a bad day the Federal Bureau of intimate

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feelings hey it's agent Smith how are you feeling I heard Kevin just broke up

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with you the ACT also includes stricter scrutiny and transparency requirements

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based on the risk an AI system might pose both to society and its users some

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critics within Europe have criticized the act for going too far and placing

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European AI firms at a disadvantage to American rivals in terms of development

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raising capital and destroying civilization as we know it it will be

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some time before the new law takes full effect with its new Provisions rolling

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out phases over the course of the next 2 years to give companies time to come

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into compliance but we might need regulations sooner take opening eyes

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eily convincing text to video generator Sora which CTO Mira Muradi says will be

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available to the public sometime this year just days after the leader of the

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Sora team told Marcus Brown Lee that it won't be publicly available anytime soon

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moradi also said Sor will get the capability to generate audio and maybe

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even some amount of nudity not in My Kingdom Hearts hopefully after

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November's election for the sake of all our sanity and eyes I don't want to see

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anything huge you know what I mean meanwhile a report commissioned by the

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US government has been published warning that America must take immediate and

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decisive action to avert serious security risks Global destabilization

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and perhaps even an extinction level threat to the human species posed by AI

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but maybe instead we could keep arguing about whether or not American football

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is ruined now that a pop star kind of likes it you kiss your boyfriend behind

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closed doors for the past few weeks users on social media have been freaking

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out about the whereabouts of Kate Middleton a fur that was heightened into

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a full-blown haloo when a Mother's Day image of her posted to her and her

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husband's Instagram and sent to various wire Services turned out to have been

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significantly edited now if you're unfamiliar with Kate Middleton she's a

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lot like Tim Cook except she's a woman she's British and instead of being CEO

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of Apple she's The Duchess of Cambridge Oh I thought you said Canada I love

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Prince Harry Duchess of Cambridge Analytics it's probably important to note that

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Middleton's disappearance wasn't sudden or unexpected in mid January the royal

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family announced that she would be undergoing some kind of unspecified

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abdominal surgery and afterwards take some time off to recover in private but

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apparently a month and a half is just a crazy amount of time to take off after

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getting stabbed in the gut by a trained professional wire Services typically

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allow a small degree of purely cosmetic edits like cropping and R ey removal but

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not the kind of significant edits found in the Mother's Day photo which included

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a disappearing sleeve and a zipper that splits into two but not in the normal

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way and also green leaves on the trees in a photo supposedly taken in March

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this led to the photo being retracted and to some excited social media sleuths

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claiming that the photo was entirely AI fabricated or that the princess's face

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was photoshopped over a standin by somebody talented enough to perfectly

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match the lighting of her face to the scene but not good enough not to

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accidentally delete part of her daughter's sweater all right it's a post

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truth world where were you at sweater gate according to Tom Warren of The

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Verge the photo's metadata indicates that it was shot on a Canon 5D markv and

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edited using a 2022 version of Photoshop from before AI features were added

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possibly because the royal family doesn't want to pay $23 a month for the

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updates they're not made of money just mostly a tweet apparently directly from

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the princess has claimed fault for the bad Photoshop job so I mean either she's

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dead or she just had major surgery and was hoping that a quick Photoshop job on

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an old photo would make you guys leave her alone I was trying to make my butt

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look bigger by not showing it at all now

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it's time for quick bits brought to you by grammarly the secure AI writing

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have you ever wondered what it would be like to eat appetizers after your entree

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my guy let me introduce you to the quick bits NVIDIA absolutely dominates the AI

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accelerator Market but there have been a couple recent developments in

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Alternatives infamous Hardware hacker George hot's company the tiny Corp is

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building the Tiny Box a $155,000 AI

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server powered by rx700 XTX

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gpus the hot tiny box or it will be if

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tiny can convince AMD to fix their basic in their AI acceleration toolkit or

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open source the firmware and let old geohot fix it himself but if that

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doesn't work out legendary chip designer Jim Keller's company 10's torrent

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launched devkits for its risk 5based Grays skull AI accelerator cards right

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after partnering with multiple Japanese chip companies because it's time to

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reduce the chip Market's Reliance on island nations that have a tense

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relationship to China oh no hello hello

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hello Japan wait what according to Mark German who I write slam poetry about

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Apple's nowan canel electric vehicle project was not a flashy sports car but

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a minivan oh God presumably it would have allowed Tim Cook to say buy your

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mom an ey car German also said the Apple silicon team team was heavily involved

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in the Apple car designing an AI brain that was as powerful as four M2 Ultra

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chips combined oh my God the chip was

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apparently nearly finished when the car was scrapped maybe Tim can use it to

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give life to an Android the likes of which hasn't been birthed by Mortals

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since the Assembly of well Mark Zuckerberg it'll be very expensive but

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it might be very good at BJJ drivers have found their insurance has increased

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because their cars are tracking them some car manufacturers like GM M Honda

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Kia and Hyundai offer optional features in their connected car apps that track

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and rate your driving what they don't say is that they sell that driving data

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to entities like data brokerage and former adult film star Lexus Nexus who

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then sell that information to insurance companies apparently some GM drivers

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were still tracked without enabling the tracking feature leading to increased

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insurance premiums now that adult filmar thing was a joke but apparently Lexus

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Nexus has screwed lots of people Airbnb will start Banning the use of indoor

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security cameras inside rentals starting April 30th the previous policy tried to

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restrict the use of cameras but was vague enough that abuse has occurred in

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the past in their policy update the company said the change shouldn't be a

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big deal to host since most of airbnb's listings do not report having a security

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camera now I know that's meant to be careful legal speak but it sounds like

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Airbnb knows there are some people covertly capturing butth holes in 4k

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those cameras are already hidden and researchers from the University of

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Chicago have claimed that that virtual reality headsets like the quest and

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Vision Pro might leave users vulnerable to Inception

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attacks where a hacker connected to the same Wi-Fi network can control the

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user's VR environment and manipulate interactions with other users it's just

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like the Christoper Nolan movie except that you can just take the headset off

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just just take it off this might become a more serious risk as these headsets

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get used in more professional applications The Vision Pro for instance

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was recently used during neurosurgery where it was definitely not hacked and

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used to trick the surgeon into implanting a small rubber duck next to

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the patient's medulla every time you breathe you quack

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and it's not a trick when I tell you to come back on Friday for more Tech news

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it's friendship seriously man like you need

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to get more Tech news I'm worried about your levels
