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It's Star Wars day, so May the fourth be

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with that baby Yoda movie or whatever

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that's coming out soon because

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CO Bibble knows they're going to need

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it. GameStop has just put forward a $56

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billion offer to buy eBay. The

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e-commerce giant was evidently caught

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off guard by the bid and responded with

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the energy of every girl I asked out in

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middle school, saying it received no

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communication from GameStop prior to the

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entirely unsolicited offer. Sounds like

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what happens on Snapchat these days. To

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give you a sense of scale, eBay has a

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market cap over four times the size of

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GameStop itself, making this a wild

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swing for the retailer. Again, much like

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my middle school attempts at romance.

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It's funny because I really kept to

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myself. The funds for the proposal are

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evidently split 50/50 between cash and

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GameStop stock. Though it's unclear from

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the wording if they're referring to

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shares or $28 billion worth of scratched

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up trade-in crash bandicoot CDs. A

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middle schooler's fortune. According to

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CEO Ryan Cohen, it's part of a larger

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strategy to pivot into ecommerce,

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leveraging GameStop's retail locations

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as a fulfillment network. However, Cohen

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likely has a more personal motive as his

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incentive structure guarantees him $35

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billion in stock if he can boost

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GameStop's market value to a hundred

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billion. God, that's that's a lot of

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Funko Pops. The FCC has unanimously

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voted to advance a proposal banning all

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Chinese testing Labs from certifying

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US-bound electronics with FCC chair and

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former witch king of Angmar Brendan Carr

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citing national security concerns before

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he screamed LIKE A BANSHEE.

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IT'S PART OF A wider crackdown that has

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already seen the agency ban the import

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of new Chinese-made consumer routers and

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drones. This move is expected to have a

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significant impact on consumer

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electronics since roughly 75% of

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US-bound devices are currently tested in

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Chinese Labs, forcing manufacturers to

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reroute certification through Labs in

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the US, Europe, or Taiwan. According to

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the new rule, existing devices can still

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be sold for up to 2 years after their

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certification date, but the expectation

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is that older devices that have to be

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retested will probably just be pulled

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instead. It's unclear how manufacturers

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will deal with the drop in available

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testing facilities, but if the router

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ban is any indication, at least one

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random company will probably get a

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lastminute exemption, which is totally

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above board and unrelated to any kind of

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favors. Please don't sue us, Netgear.

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Uh, Toyota's woven city, the fully

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surveiled corporate utopia they use to

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test robotic stuff at the base of Mount

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Fuji. This is real.

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>> That's sick.

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>> Wow. Sounds like a from a spy novel or

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something. Anyway, they just got a new

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AI overlord called the Woven City AI

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vision engine, which sounds totally

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believable and not weird.

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>> All hail AI overlord.

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>> You seek to enter the woven city.

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Anyway, this model ingests feeds from

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cameras, vehicles, traffic signals, and

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user inputs across the city to predict

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what residents are about to do, which is

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fine because the residents are all

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Toyota employees and their families who

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presumably sign something. About a 100

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people currently live there in a city

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built for about 2,000. So, the cameras

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to civilian ratio is generous to say the

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least. Toyota also confirmed that

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chairman Akio Toyota has been uploaded

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to the cloud as Akia Toyota AI,

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a chatbot trained on a decade of his

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speeches and writings so he can keep

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dispensing leadership and wisdom long

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after his meat form retires. Honestly,

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getting trapped in a panopticon run by a

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sentient AI CEO sounds stressful. At

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least we can blow off some steam with

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our sponsor, War Thunder. Do the

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everbeating war drums inside your head

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make you just want to drive a tank into

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another tank? Well, good news. War

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Thunder has 2500 of those, plus planes,

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nations. All of them are available to

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drive, fly, and blow up. And all of them

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Every component in those machines is

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individually modeled, so when something

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explodes, X-ray view can show you

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exactly what got destroyed.

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>> Storms are coming. a ship storm. That is

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from April 24th to May 7th. Get free

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order over $150 in the US and Canada or

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lower threshold, you can sign up for our

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supporter plus t on Floatplane for an

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even better offer. We'll have that

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linked down below. Now, I know it would

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be probably really good to do the quick

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bits here, but what if instead we just

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had Darth Maul show up again? You guys

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like him, right?

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>> Darth Maul.

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>> Subscribe. Microsoft's April Windows 11

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update keeps finding new ways to ruin

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your day. After triggering boot loops,

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besides, and boring Bit Locker, it's now

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breaking third-party backup apps like

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Macrium and Acronis. This time on

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purpose, though. We're happy about this.

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Microsoft blacklisted the kernel driver

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that these apps use over a security flaw

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and is telling users not to uninstall

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the patch. So, your options are keep

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your backups or keep your PC from

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getting owned. Pick one, loser. Oh, you

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want to back up your PC? Get a grip.

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Maryland just became the first state to

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ban AIdriven surveillance pricing in

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grocery stores. Yay. Unfortunately,

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critics say the bill is riddled with

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carveouts and exemptions. Boohoo. What a

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wa what a roller coaster. Consumer

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advocate and the internet's cool older

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brother who's looking out for you, Cory

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Doctoro, called the law all loophole.

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Anyway, Cory warned that lobbyists have

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drafted it to gut consumer protections.

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The criticism is welltimed as several

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other states are currently drafting

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similar bills. So, here's hoping this

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will let us take a bite out of grocery

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store surveillance pricing. A court in

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Hongghu, China, ruled that companies

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can't legally fire workers just because

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AI is cheaper after a tech firm tried to

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demote a quality assurance employee from

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25,000 yuan a month to 15,000 and canned

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him when he refused. The court said

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adopting AI is a business choice, not an

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unforeseeable disaster that voids your

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employment contract. A take so worker

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friendly, it probably won't survive the

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boat ride west. BlackBerry stock jumped

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over 10% today after a Wall Street

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Journal profile reminded everyone that

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the company didn't die, it just pivoted.

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QNX, their software division, makes the

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operating system running Lane Keep,

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adaptive cruise, and crash detection in

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275 million cars. And it's now expanding

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into NVIDIA robotics and German

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submarines, of course, which means the

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company that couldn't survive the iPhone

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is now keeping you alive at crush depth.

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Sleep tight, sailors. And a Cleveland

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startup called Sonic Fire Tech is

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selling a fire suppression system that

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uses inaudible infrasound waves instead

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of water or chemicals. and they just

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demoed putting out a kitchen grease fire

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with sound alone, which everyone tries

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at first, but it doesn't do anything.

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A backpack version for wildland

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firefighters is also in testing, which

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I'm sure will go great until they find

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all the dead woodland creatures.

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Chipmunks are just not a thing anymore.

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Ah, the fire's out. Oh god, mama. and

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I'll be setting you on fire in a video

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game if you don't come back Wednesday

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for more tech news. Now, if you'll

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excuse me, I have to go back to

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pretending Star Wars doesn't exist until

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the next Jedi Survivor sequel or they

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make something else as good as Andor

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because otherwise, what's the point?

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Okay, see you.