The most precious substance in the universe is tech news. He who controls
the tech news controls the universe. THE TECH NEWS MUST FLOW.
VAL HAS pushed out what they describe as a a small update to Counterstrike 2 that
wiped out nearly $2 billion from the game's playerdriven economy overnight.
The October patch quietly changed how tradeup contracts work. Instead of
having to buy expensive stuff, you could just trade in a bundle of cheap crap for
ultra rare knives. This teensyweensy update single-handedly detonated the
Steam community market overnight, sending the value of long hoarded items
into freef fall. Bloomberg reports total losses of over $1.75 billion in under 24
hours. In perhaps the greatest redistribution of wealth NVIDIA game
history, wellto-do players on social media are showing several thousands in
losses, whilst the little guys are actually coming out ahead. One lucky
user's inventory of previously low tiered skins is currently being valued
at $3 million US. But why did Valve do
this? Well, this would stimulate a bunch of transactions, and they do make a
kickback off of each sale, but Valve
wouldn't do that, right? >> No. Right. >> No,
>> you know, literally no. They they must have some other reason. But maybe
Microsoft just pinched off its fall co-pilot release and amongst a handful
of updates for Edge, they introduced Mo,
a new optional visual presence. It
didn't take long for every tech news site to draw parallels between Microsoft's blobby new mascot and and
Clippy, Microsoft's old office assistant. I'm not sure Miko can become
as beloved or meme'd on as Clippy, but Clippy never changed colors to reflect
your interactions. For an amorphous blob, Mo's growing on me.
>> Wouldn't be the first. >> And another thing that's growing is Microsoft's Edge browser, which finally
got a bunch of AI features that were announced back in July. In Edge's new
co-pilot mode, you can use co-pilot actions to set up AI assisted multi-step
tasks for the browser to complete. And the journeys feature lets you save
projects without bookmarks, relying on Copilot's memory of your searches to
jump back into a project. Like with OpenAI's recently released Atlas
browser, Copilot does require permission to access your private data, and you'll
see cues when Copilot is active in your browser. Speaking of Atlas, the timing
of these Edge updates coincides with OpenAI trying to make AI browsing cool,
but they're not off to a great start as Atlas is being called agonizingly slow.
Atlas was supposed to bring about vibe lifing, but by not letting you do online
banking or visit the New York Times, people are thinking it's more of a vibe
killer. Not chill, Atlas.
I'm going back to Boomer browsing. >> The vibes.
In other Microsoft news, we may have found the smoking gun that led to Xbox's
recent price hikes. According to a report from Bloomberg's Jason Shrier, in
fall 2023, Microsoft's master chief
financial officer Amy Hood told the Xbox division to target 30% profit margins,
or accountability margins, as they apparently call them. This is an
eyewatering number considering gaming companies reportedly maintain profit
margins closer to 17 to 22% most of the
time. The aggressive targets apparently compelled Xbox to introduce significant
policy changes to keep up, which has resulted in layoffs and price hikes. If
they really wanted to make some money, they should release Halo on PlayStation,
which is exactly what they announced literally right before we started shooting this video, which is so cool of
them. We didn't have time to dive deep, but essentially a full remake of the
Halo 1 campaign is coming to the Xbox store, Steam, and PlayStation 5 in 2026.
As Phil Spencer probably said, "Please buy multiple copies, please." He
probably said that. It's not all bad looks for Xbox, though. As old Filimus
Spence just told Japanese gaming publication Famitsu, "In the last year,
Xbox's play time has increased by around 20% in Japan, a region notorious for
hating Xbox." Unfortunately, it's still mostly bad looks for Xbox, though,
because some YouTubers claim the new ROG Xbox Ally handheld systems perform
better and smoother with the Steam OS
like Basite Linux OS instead of the Windows OS that comes pre-installed.
Cyberdopamine and ETA Prime both have videos on the subject with similar
findings. Windows just isn't quite comfortable on handhelds yet. But you
know where you may be more comfortable? You will be on our sponsor, Roab, makers
of the M1. A modular and lightweight sofa that you can carry into your house
or even your small apartment by yourself. And you don't even need to go
to the gym and get mad swole, ripped or yolked, juiced, or jacked, unless you
want to do those things anyways. But again, it's not necessary for this
because the M1 sofa blossoms out of its compact box, ready to enjoy. No tools or
confusing instructions involved. Sections of the M1 sofa can be added or
rearranged at any time, so you can just enjoy the plush highdensity foam
construction and durable, easy to clean upholstery like this, or this or I don't
know, like this. I'm not going to tell you how to set yours up. I am going to
say get up to 60% off during RoveLab's Black Friday event at our link in the
description. Don't fear Quickbits. Quick bits are the mind filler. I will face my
Quickbits. I will permit them to pass through me and over me and in me. Apple
says its beloved app tracking transparency feature, the one that stops
apps from following you around like a clingy X, might soon be disabled in
Europe. The company claims intense lobbying efforts in countries like
Germany and Italy could force it to withdraw the privacy tool to the
detriment of European consumers. This statement comes after a probe launched
by German they love their probes back in 2022 and fines from France's competition
authority back in March of this year. When will these socialists stop? Don't
you people want the freedom to be exploited? The American way.
>> YEEHAW. And in what might be the most shocking
Apple news this week, the company is developing a new app migration kit, a
framework to help users move their data from iOS to Android. You know, the
opposite of what they usually want their customers to do. The tool, quietly
detailed on Apple's developer site, would let apps securely transfer user
data between platforms. The reason? Likely EU regulatory pressure. That's
what causes all good things in this world, though Apple hasn't said that
outright. Either way, Apple removing their head out of their ass a little bit
more is good news for everybody. Forget what I said at the end of the last
story. Samsung and SKH Highex are reportedly raising memory prices by up
to 30% according to Trendforce and Hangyong. This increase hits both DRAM
and nan flash, the stuff that powers your RAM and SSDs. The reason surging AI
demand and long-term data center contracts gobbling up supply. Great news
for chipmakers, but terrible news for anyone planning a PC upgrade. At this
rate, your next 16 gigs of RAM might end up costing more than the game you bought
it for. Just joking, those are going up in price, too. Nike has revealed Project
Amplify, a new line of powered footwear designed to enhance leg and ankle
movement. The shoes feature built-in actuators and motion sensors to assist
with every step, but the design is giving Marty McFly mags crossed with
your dad's prescription knee brace. Nike cinematic promo shows glowing futuristic
athletes but explains nothing about how they work. I assume over the air updates
Nike Air. I'll see myself out.
>> Thank you. >> An FBI investigation is alleging that NBA players, coaches, and alumni were
involved in a nationwide poker conspiracy straight out of a heist
movie. The scheme involved luring wealthy people who wanted to play cards
against celebrities such as 2004 NBA Finals MVP Chanty Bulips into
underground poker games where everyone else was in on the plot to take the
targets money. Aren't NBA players rich enough? The FBI alleges that the
perpetrators relied on technology like rig shuffling machines, cards with marks
on them that could only be seen using special sunglasses or contact lenses,
and naturally X-ray frigin tables to
cheat. Apparently, the victims were hustled out of at least $7 million. I
guess you could say these gamblers were really balling out
now. Seriously, I should leave,
but you should stay uh or come back again on Monday for more tech news. I
know there's another episode coming because oddly enough, my coowwriter
quoted Lynch's Dune when he told me to restore tech news production or live my
life out in a pain amplifier. I've got to call HR about that. No gum jab bars
at work. PINBALL. DARN.