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The most precious substance in the universe is tech news. He who controls

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the tech news controls the universe. THE TECH NEWS MUST FLOW.

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VAL HAS pushed out what they describe as a a small update to Counterstrike 2 that

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wiped out nearly $2 billion from the game's playerdriven economy overnight.

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The October patch quietly changed how tradeup contracts work. Instead of

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having to buy expensive stuff, you could just trade in a bundle of cheap crap for

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ultra rare knives. This teensyweensy update single-handedly detonated the

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Steam community market overnight, sending the value of long hoarded items

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into freef fall. Bloomberg reports total losses of over $1.75 billion in under 24

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hours. In perhaps the greatest redistribution of wealth NVIDIA game

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history, wellto-do players on social media are showing several thousands in

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losses, whilst the little guys are actually coming out ahead. One lucky

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user's inventory of previously low tiered skins is currently being valued

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at $3 million US. But why did Valve do

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this? Well, this would stimulate a bunch of transactions, and they do make a

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kickback off of each sale, but Valve

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wouldn't do that, right? >> No. Right. >> No,

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>> you know, literally no. They they must have some other reason. But maybe

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Microsoft just pinched off its fall co-pilot release and amongst a handful

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of updates for Edge, they introduced Mo,

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a new optional visual presence. It

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didn't take long for every tech news site to draw parallels between Microsoft's blobby new mascot and and

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Clippy, Microsoft's old office assistant. I'm not sure Miko can become

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as beloved or meme'd on as Clippy, but Clippy never changed colors to reflect

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your interactions. For an amorphous blob, Mo's growing on me.

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>> Wouldn't be the first. >> And another thing that's growing is Microsoft's Edge browser, which finally

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got a bunch of AI features that were announced back in July. In Edge's new

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co-pilot mode, you can use co-pilot actions to set up AI assisted multi-step

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tasks for the browser to complete. And the journeys feature lets you save

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projects without bookmarks, relying on Copilot's memory of your searches to

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jump back into a project. Like with OpenAI's recently released Atlas

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browser, Copilot does require permission to access your private data, and you'll

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see cues when Copilot is active in your browser. Speaking of Atlas, the timing

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of these Edge updates coincides with OpenAI trying to make AI browsing cool,

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but they're not off to a great start as Atlas is being called agonizingly slow.

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Atlas was supposed to bring about vibe lifing, but by not letting you do online

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banking or visit the New York Times, people are thinking it's more of a vibe

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killer. Not chill, Atlas.

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I'm going back to Boomer browsing. >> The vibes.

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In other Microsoft news, we may have found the smoking gun that led to Xbox's

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recent price hikes. According to a report from Bloomberg's Jason Shrier, in

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fall 2023, Microsoft's master chief

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financial officer Amy Hood told the Xbox division to target 30% profit margins,

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or accountability margins, as they apparently call them. This is an

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eyewatering number considering gaming companies reportedly maintain profit

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margins closer to 17 to 22% most of the

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time. The aggressive targets apparently compelled Xbox to introduce significant

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policy changes to keep up, which has resulted in layoffs and price hikes. If

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they really wanted to make some money, they should release Halo on PlayStation,

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which is exactly what they announced literally right before we started shooting this video, which is so cool of

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them. We didn't have time to dive deep, but essentially a full remake of the

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Halo 1 campaign is coming to the Xbox store, Steam, and PlayStation 5 in 2026.

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As Phil Spencer probably said, "Please buy multiple copies, please." He

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probably said that. It's not all bad looks for Xbox, though. As old Filimus

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Spence just told Japanese gaming publication Famitsu, "In the last year,

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Xbox's play time has increased by around 20% in Japan, a region notorious for

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hating Xbox." Unfortunately, it's still mostly bad looks for Xbox, though,

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because some YouTubers claim the new ROG Xbox Ally handheld systems perform

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better and smoother with the Steam OS

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like Basite Linux OS instead of the Windows OS that comes pre-installed.

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Cyberdopamine and ETA Prime both have videos on the subject with similar

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findings. Windows just isn't quite comfortable on handhelds yet. But you

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know where you may be more comfortable? You will be on our sponsor, Roab, makers

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or even your small apartment by yourself. And you don't even need to go

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to the gym and get mad swole, ripped or yolked, juiced, or jacked, unless you

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want to do those things anyways. But again, it's not necessary for this

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because the M1 sofa blossoms out of its compact box, ready to enjoy. No tools or

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confusing instructions involved. Sections of the M1 sofa can be added or

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rearranged at any time, so you can just enjoy the plush highdensity foam

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construction and durable, easy to clean upholstery like this, or this or I don't

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know, like this. I'm not going to tell you how to set yours up. I am going to

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say get up to 60% off during RoveLab's Black Friday event at our link in the

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description. Don't fear Quickbits. Quick bits are the mind filler. I will face my

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Quickbits. I will permit them to pass through me and over me and in me. Apple

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says its beloved app tracking transparency feature, the one that stops

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apps from following you around like a clingy X, might soon be disabled in

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Europe. The company claims intense lobbying efforts in countries like

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Germany and Italy could force it to withdraw the privacy tool to the

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detriment of European consumers. This statement comes after a probe launched

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by German they love their probes back in 2022 and fines from France's competition

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authority back in March of this year. When will these socialists stop? Don't

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you people want the freedom to be exploited? The American way.

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>> YEEHAW. And in what might be the most shocking

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Apple news this week, the company is developing a new app migration kit, a

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framework to help users move their data from iOS to Android. You know, the

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opposite of what they usually want their customers to do. The tool, quietly

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detailed on Apple's developer site, would let apps securely transfer user

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data between platforms. The reason? Likely EU regulatory pressure. That's

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what causes all good things in this world, though Apple hasn't said that

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outright. Either way, Apple removing their head out of their ass a little bit

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more is good news for everybody. Forget what I said at the end of the last

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story. Samsung and SKH Highex are reportedly raising memory prices by up

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to 30% according to Trendforce and Hangyong. This increase hits both DRAM

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and nan flash, the stuff that powers your RAM and SSDs. The reason surging AI

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demand and long-term data center contracts gobbling up supply. Great news

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for chipmakers, but terrible news for anyone planning a PC upgrade. At this

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rate, your next 16 gigs of RAM might end up costing more than the game you bought

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it for. Just joking, those are going up in price, too. Nike has revealed Project

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Amplify, a new line of powered footwear designed to enhance leg and ankle

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movement. The shoes feature built-in actuators and motion sensors to assist

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with every step, but the design is giving Marty McFly mags crossed with

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your dad's prescription knee brace. Nike cinematic promo shows glowing futuristic

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athletes but explains nothing about how they work. I assume over the air updates

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Nike Air. I'll see myself out.

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>> Thank you. >> An FBI investigation is alleging that NBA players, coaches, and alumni were

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involved in a nationwide poker conspiracy straight out of a heist

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movie. The scheme involved luring wealthy people who wanted to play cards

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against celebrities such as 2004 NBA Finals MVP Chanty Bulips into

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underground poker games where everyone else was in on the plot to take the

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targets money. Aren't NBA players rich enough? The FBI alleges that the

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perpetrators relied on technology like rig shuffling machines, cards with marks

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on them that could only be seen using special sunglasses or contact lenses,

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and naturally X-ray frigin tables to

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cheat. Apparently, the victims were hustled out of at least $7 million. I

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guess you could say these gamblers were really balling out

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now. Seriously, I should leave,

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but you should stay uh or come back again on Monday for more tech news. I

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know there's another episode coming because oddly enough, my coowwriter

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quoted Lynch's Dune when he told me to restore tech news production or live my

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life out in a pain amplifier. I've got to call HR about that. No gum jab bars

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at work. PINBALL. DARN.