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sometimes you choose the tech news and sometimes the tech news barges into your

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room and throws you into an unmarked SUV and today was the second one for me

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Apple finally addressed the question of what its compliance with the eu's

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digital markets act rules will look like and the answer is malicious I was hoping

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it would be delicious but we close I mean it sounds good at first Apple

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announced that iOS will support third-party app stores they call them

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marketplaces as well as third party payment systems and browser engines

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other than webkit so you can actually use a browser that isn't just Safari

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covered in chrome spray paint but then you realize these delicious treats are

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only coming to the EU because they're actually really dangerous and you're not

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sure you want them anymore anyways because you think you saw Apple spit on

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them before handing them out alternative app marketplaces must be authorized by

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Apple and all the apps that they host must be notorized

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a perfectly dystopian sounding appal ISM for reviewed by Bots and humans prepare

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to be notorized while many are repeating

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claims that iOS will support side loading installing Standalone app

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packages outside of any app store like you can do on Android Windows Linux and

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macOS it won't support that and it only gets Wilder in order for developers to

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distribute their apps on alternative app marketplaces or even use third-party

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payment processes they need to accept the new business terms this is the new

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business now get used to it that includes paying a lower 10% cut of the

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App Store revenue or 177% for digital goods and services plus an extra 3% to

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use Apple's own payment system which will also spare users from the popup

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warning them that they may be about to hand over their savings to a Nigerian

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prince if they don't use the right one but the new terms also include Apple's

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own version of unity's scandalous per

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install fee from last year once an app Hits 1 million installs its devs will

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have to pay a core technology fee or CTF

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of50 for every new user who installs it

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annually as in the app can be reinstalled by the same user for no

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charge for 12 months for some devs this could see apple taking something like a

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60% cut of their app Revenue now if you think crossing your fingers and hoping

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that your app doesn't get too popular sounds kind of stressful developers can

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always stick with the current business terms and swear off the cool new stuff

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they could also Target iPad OS where

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first installs won't trigger the CTF apparently developers of app

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marketplaces however will have to pay the CTF every time the Marketplace app

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is installed including the first million they'll also have to get a letter of

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credit from an a-rated financial institution of a million EUR altogether

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the deal doesn't sound too too good and in their explainers apple is making it

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clear that's by Design the company explained that it's only making the new

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features available in the EU because they're actually super dangerous and in

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the EU they can take that weird we're soft and vulnerable I mean the app

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store's harsh protections blocked $2 billion worth of fraudulent transactions

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in 2022 the same amount that Google

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blocked in the same year on the far less restrictive Play Store but there's way

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more Android phones in the world and they're way harder to use for babies the

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argument is confusing but Apple did announce one thing that appears to be

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just straight up good news game streaming platforms like NVIDIA's

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GeForce now and Xbox cloud gaming can now submit a single iOS app with the

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capability to stream their entire library of games which is again how

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things already worked on other operating systems but not on the minimalist Fisher

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Price of phone os's your minimalist baby

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will love it Apple previously wanted NVIDIA and Microsoft to create an app

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store listing for every individual game in their streaming cataloges a request

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the two Tech Giants responded to

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with interestingly GeForce now was the

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only way to play fortnite on iOS since epic games removed it in 2020 when it

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started its whole App Store mud fight with apple but now that iOS will support

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thirdparty app stores epic games plans to finally launch the epic game store

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and fortnite on iPhone even though epic boss Tim Sweeney thinks the new rules

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are quote hot garbage whether they actually go through with that launch

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also depends on whether Apple authorizes their upcoming app Marketplace which I

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have a feeling is somewhat unlikely as long as Sweeney keeps characterizing

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Apple's announcements as a quote horror show Tim Cook expects some level of

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decorum here I do not suffer impudence

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from WI Jing verman

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guards now it's time for quick bits brought to you by manscaped if you're

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feeling a little overgrown trim your Hedges the manly way with manscapes

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lawnmower 5.0 its trimmer blade and foil blade are interchangeable letting you

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voluminous spots the lawnmower 5.0 even

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comes with an LED light so you can see right through the Shrubbery it's also

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portable and charges conveniently with a USB cable meaning you can whack the

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weeds anywhere you might be check out the lawnmower 5.0 at manscaped.com

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TechLink and use code TechLink for 20%

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off and free shipping Okay I uh I think all the Apple news has left by now I we

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we can we can do the quick P oh God there's there's one more in the corner

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it's standing there the whole time what you know that's kind of creepy right I'm

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still here users of beeper Cloud the service that lets you route iMessages to

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your Android phone through your Mac computer reported earlier this week that

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Apple was blocking them from using iMessage even on their Macs which were

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flagged for spam because while Apple values the user experience above all

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their other core tenant is nauy children must be

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punished after the New York Times reported on the issue and reached out to

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Apple Apple did not respond to the New York Times but suddenly started

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unbanning these users for now beeper has disabled beeper Cloud functionality

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anyways while they apparently try to find yet another workaround I don't know

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if Apple's compliance with the dma is any indication you might just have to

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get your mom and iPhone I just thousands of users reported that Microsoft teams

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was down today including many users from our own office tragically blocking us

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from posting in the companywide short joke group chat that is our com system

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like a kebler out I swear we're a real

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company down detector reported nearly 15 ,000 outages as of noon Pacific Time

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Microsoft gave a vague statement on Twitter acknowledging the problem and

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blaming it on a nonspecific networking issue rats got into the pipes notably

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this outage comes less than a week after Microsoft disclosed an attack from a

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Russian sponsored hacker and underrated My Little Pony character midnight

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blizzard they shelved him in the first season he was just not it's a it's a boy

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Florida's House of Representatives had has passed a bill that if passed by the

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Senate and then signed by the governor will ban children under 16 from social

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media platforms that track users activity and use that information to

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provide targeted content a primary concern is social media's potentially

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addictive nature with one state representative comparing it to a kind of

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digital fenel the bill has excluded platforms mainly used for messaging

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non-user generated entertainment and professional networks so if you're for

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in Florida maybe now's the time to become a LinkedIn influencer it's it's

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going to be the hot new thing business Google has released a research paper and

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a demo video for lumere something they're calling a space-time diffusion

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model which sounds like a teleporter that turns users into a fine Mist but is

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actually an impressive text to video and imageo video generation tool the output

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is surprisingly realistic and smooth compared to past attempts at AI video

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generation and just look at these animals with the correct number of eyes

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and limbs wow and these raccoons reading

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hovering books try it out be your guest

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Lumiere even has the ability to take the style from a reference image and

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incorporate it in a new video as well as alter existing footage like this

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horrifying woman flower homunculus the future is bright and meta's reality Labs

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has created a way of allowing VR users as well as virtual characters and

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experiences to appear to manipulate

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realworld objects they demonstrated this concept in a video where a thankfully

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fake hidious monkey peanut monster thing grabs a very real drink cart and throws

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it down the stairs before escaping Justice by taking the elevator the user

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in that scenario was moving real slow they could have gotone it now in reality

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the VR program creates a virtual double of the object and simultaneously erases

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the original from sight it's super cool though it's feels like maybe they should

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be working on other things like how to get the quest 3's pass through mode to

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work on a plane or even when you just decide to stand up or go downstairs The

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Vision Pro can do it meta Honestly though check the video out for yourself

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just be prepared for the nude minions streaking through the frame at 3 minutes

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and 45 seconds I just if you're not into that maybe avoid and don't break your

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streak ha come back on Monday for more Tech nudes

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no news they're not nudes no