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So today's intro was going to involve a whole intricate Rube Goldberg machine,

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but unfortunately it didn't work. So I

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threw a bit of a tantrum and then I tripped and fell on it and smashed it.

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Anyway, here's the tech news, I guess. Samsung officially launched the Galaxy

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XR, its much anticipated mixed reality headset, at an event yesterday. It's the

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first headset powered by Android XR, the

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OS for headsets announced by Google last December. And Samsung says it's designed

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as the first step in their vision of an open scalable XR ecosystem. The price

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for entry, a nice cool $1,800,

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which is worth approximately half an Apple Vision Pro, unless you're on eBay,

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where the corpses of a dead dream litter the landscape. Under the hood, it packs

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the new Snapdragon XR2 Plus Gen 2 chip,

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a stunning micro OLED display, full hand and eye tracking, and a UI that looks

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hauntingly similar to the Vision Pro,

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and of course, Google's Gemini will let you do amazing things you couldn't do

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before, like organize your Windows. Do

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people still want an AR headset after the Vision Pro bombed? Well, just in

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case they don't, Samsung confirmed they're also working on smart glasses,

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which could compete with Meta's Ray-B band through a partnership with the

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brands Warby Parker and Gentle Monster. So whether you want to enter the

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metaverse or just forget what sunlight looks like, Samsung's got you covered.

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Literally, OpenAI has fulfilled the prophecy and introduced Atlas, a web

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browser with ChatGpt built in. Atlas is

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meant to become more helpful over time by using its memory of your chats and

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searches to better comprehend what you're doing and complete tasks for you.

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If an AI learning to understand and imitate your browsing behaviors scares

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you, too, don't worry. The feature is completely optional, so you can make it

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so your browser won't even know that you're gaslighting it. Plus, OpenAI says

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Atlas will pause to ensure you're watching it when it accesses sensitive

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sites like your bank or when it just learned how to stand on one leg and just

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wants you to be proud of it. Look at me. Look at me. But what about incognito

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mode? I hear all the freaks saying, "Hey, don't worry. Atlas has that." And

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it will temporarily log you out of chatbt, so it will remember nothing of

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your secret trrist. But that also means it won't remember the specific kind of

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cat photos you like. Moving on, Atlas's announcement video shows it's shopping

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and filling carts based on simple prompts, which is a worrying level of

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power given that security research from Brave Software found that hidden text in

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an image can manipulate AI browsers like

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Perplexity's Comet. They showed that this text can trick a browser into,

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among other things, visiting a hackerc controlled website. Great. We're putting

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our web browsing in the hands of a hallucinating, gullible Greek Titan.

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Atlas was a Titan. The effects of Monday's major Amazon Web Services

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outage are still being felt with some Slack users reportedly being completely

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unable to leave work conference calls,

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which sounds like something out of a late night snack induced stress dream.

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Speaking of sleeping, during the outage, thousands of eight sleep bed owners

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found they couldn't adjust the smart bed's position or temperature. resulting

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in some folks roasting in their blankets like proverbial pigs. I'm not calling

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these poor people pigs. I'm just being clear about that. Eight Sleep then

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introduced a new outage mode to control the bed even during an AWS service

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disruption. Can Can we just use that one use that mode all the time? No. All

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right. Still, the outage might be a good distraction for Amazon because the New

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York Times is reporting on leaked documents that suggest Amazon plans to

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replace 600,000 human employees with robots by 2033. The report says Amazon's

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robotics team aims to automate 75% of the company's operations and they're

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expecting to cut around 160,000 US jobs

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by 2027. However, an Amazon spokesperson

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attempted to downplay this news, telling The Verge that this holiday season

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they're planning on hiring 250,000 humans who may or may not go on

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permanent holiday shortly afterwards. Seems like Amazon could use some

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business. Fun fact, the Quickbits enjoy watching those marble races more than go

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Rube Goldberg machines. They're faster and it's all about speed with the

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Quickbits. You know that more than anyone.

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TSMC has produced the first NVIDIA Blackwell GPU wafer on American soil,

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marking a big win for domestic chipm

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sort of. Before these wafers actually become usable GPUs, each wafer still has

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to fly back to Taiwan for packaging. Now, that's where TSMC handles their

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chip onwafer substrate and high bandwidth memory stacking, critical

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steps that bond multiple chips and stack memory inside the processor. and they

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have said, "We're only doing it there." So, until those advanced processes exist

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in Arizona, these made in America chips will keep earning frequent flyer miles

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on their way to Taiwan and back. Maybe they'll take a holiday sometime. YouTube

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is rolling out AI likeness detection, a tool designed to catch deep fakes before

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they go viral, because they will go viral.

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You've got to stop them. Creators can opt in by doing a quick selfie scan,

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letting Google's AI compare faces and voices in uploads to detect

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impersonations. It's just occurring to me now that this also gives them more

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accurate data about what your face looks like specifically and how to reproduce

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it. >> Yeah, >> which is the same thing you have to do when you log into the Sora app. Okay. If

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someone tries to use your likeness, YouTube can flag, label, or block the

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video automatically. Because if Google is serious about one thing, it's about

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giving creators the tools they need to fight content created with other tools

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Google created to fight creators in the marketplace of content.

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Speaking of AI, a new study by the European Broadcasting Union and the BBC

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found that nearly 45% of AI assistant

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responses about current major events contained major issues. For example,

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Google Gemini claimed the NHS in the UK

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does not recommend vaping to help quit smoking. Well, not only does the NHS

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actually recommend it, it's objectively the coolest way to quit. With a younger

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generation increasingly using AI for news, I think everyone can see how that

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could start getting a bit capital Hairy.

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I don't know why there's a capital H. A tiny bionic eye implant, first developed

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by a company called Pixium Vision back in 2022, is finally delivering on its

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promise, helping blind patients read again. The system, now refined by the

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aptly named Science Corporation, suddenly more suspicious of this whole

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thing, uses a rice-sized microchip implanted under the retina and a pair of

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smart glasses that record the world in front of you. The system uses both of

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these components to create infrared light signals, something that can be

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converted to actual visual information by the eye inserted chip. In recent

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trials, more than 80% of patients with severe macular degeneration regained

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enough vision to recognize letters and small words. At this rate, we'll need

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implants just to unsee half the stuff on the internet. When are those coming? And

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researchers in Japan have made a breakthrough in the field of entural

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ventilation via anus aka EVA aka butt

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breathing. Let me explain. In 2024,

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researchers snagged an IG Nobel Prize in physiology for showing that mice, rats,

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and pigs can actually absorb oxygen

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through their rear ends. if scientists put some oxygenated liquid in there,

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which is a key key detail. Now, the same

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group is studying whether using this method can be used to bypass blocked

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airways or clogged lungs in humans. And

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the first step asking 27 healthy male

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volunteers to hold some regular non oxygenated liquid inside of there and

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clench. And we swear we're not just doing this cuz we think it's funny. And

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these guys, they turned out all right with the only adverse effects so far

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being some bloating and discomfort. Obviously, I feel like they could have

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gotten the same findings from taking those 27 guys to Taco Bell. But I think

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that study already won an Ignobel prize.

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I You know what? I think we should all take a butt breath. We'll be back on

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Friday with more tech news. I've got to go pick up the pieces of my Rube

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Goldberg machine. Maybe I can salvage something. Hey, let me know in the

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comments what your favorite Rube Goldberg machine is. Do they have names?
