LTT is in big trouble I mean I've done
my best to hide it but if you've been paying attention the writing's been on
the wall for a long time there's the out of control spending on the lab when our
overpriced Workshop already sits practically unused we've seen long time
employee turnover like never before and the community's been watching my mental
health decline in real time trust me bro I mean the land show has
gone from a one-hour news show to a four-hour therapy session I think
everyone's right it's time to cut my losses and just go
back to my roots or tubers
welcome to Uncle linuses potato farm now
you're probably asking yourself how does this make any sense
think about it AI is coming for our creative jobs but you know what an AI
can't do put plants in the ground with the growing appetite for farming content
and my background it makes a lot more sense than you'd think
like our sponsor the ridge get rid of
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and get free shipping chapter one of the farmer's handbook says
use what you got and well what I got is
generational knowledge about the humble potato it's highly nutritious versatile
and always in demand making it a steady source of income that can help offset my
losses from the lab at least this time I'll have something to show for my
investment
and it feels good right no one that in an unprecedented food
crisis our potatoes are feeding hungry families across the country
and why stop at potatoes we're also raising livestock to diversify our
revenue streams according to exoticmeatmarkets.com alpaca meat is
among the healthiest and most flavorful and we've got some really innovative
ideas to make our methane emissions the lowest in the world the best part is
that unlike our Labs team who needs specialized knowledge to operate our
overpriced equipment any passionate LTT enthusiasts can apply to join our happy
team here at Uncle Linus's potato farm
okay uh farming potatoes might not tax your
brain but it can tax your body which is why we have a dedicated medical team
right here on site that way any pioneers who get injured or just get plain plump
tuckered out can continue to contribute to our great cause in the best way that
they can everyone's just so happy working here
that leaving the farm for food or family visits it's entirely unnecessary
which is why we keep a well stocked Larder full of fresh produce and feed
bags now some potatoes just don't live up to
our high quality standards but throw no potatoes
that's like throwing away money which is when it hit me we can take our
sub-optimal potatoes and combine them with
other things to make raw organic dog and
cat food after all why should only humans participate in
the farm to table experience maximize production we need to keep our
Workforce energized according to importedjuicexchange.com alpaca
secretions are jam-packed full of stimulating compounds add a few secret
ingredients from an old family recipe and you've got yourself a refreshing
tonic that is just chock full of electrolytes keeping our Pioneers
working day and night we call it Uncle Linus's classic potato
moonshine at only 69 proof it's barely
enough to be considered alcoholic but it'll still keep you warm during those
chilly Farm nights get yours at lttstore.com next up the uncle Linus
gaming Lounge it's just through here
wow lunchroom is busy today
while our whale land gaming event was fun what about the hard-working Tunis
well here in Uncle Linus's Lounge Pioneers can spend their daily free hour
enjoying our earn to play program every
15 minutes of farm related calculations gets them one LT token which can be
redeemed for fantastic rewards and the best part
is by recruiting more pie and tears to work for you you can earn 10 of every LT
token they earn speaking of earnings we talk about low age no
tokens which got me thinking if we can
sell a physical potato why not a digital
one whenever they aren't being used for gaming then our Lounge PCS run our
proprietary Al Gore Rhythm which maximizes efficiency by running at 100
load 100 of the time now you're probably
thinking gosh Linus that's a lot of fine potato themed limited edition nfts on
lttstore.com where do you get your ideas
I'm like you know AI generated
and there's just jpegs
oh you see here at Uncle linuses nothing goes to
waste even the excess heat from the lounge gets pumped into here the uncle
Linus hot house where we grow even more delicious nutritious highly profitable
produce including medicinal herbs and plants to help keep our medical staff
well stocked with naturopathic remedies and of course to sell on specialty
markets of course nothing's 100 efficient and
sometimes things break but why spend money on replacement parts
when we can simply make them that's where our 3D printing Farm comes in with
these we can fabricate anything we need on site while also contributing
additional Revenue thanks to the custom design orders we take from our community
I've also extended offers to neighboring
Farms to make whatever equipment they might need but
well some of our neighbors don't want to be friends apparently they don't like
that I bought this farm and they think they could do a better job of managing
it themselves but their arrogance blinds them from
seeing what the ambition of Uncle Linus will accomplish no matter in time we're going to show
them exactly what we're capable of the best part of the farm is
self-sufficiency our Pioneer uniforms are made of reused potato sacks that you
can buy on lttstore.com we turn the potatoes into potato flour we get cheese
and meat from the livestock and then all we need is a few hot house tomatoes and
Uncle Linus's Pizza yeah bring bring that over here and make sure these boxes
do get composted that way I can get more
fertile soil for my potatoes
to all my haters and my doubters I have just one thing to say
I can save you from mediocrity come to Uncle Linus's potato farm
apologize to me in person and I will allow you to join my team of pioneers
swear fealty to me my potatoes and my
alpacas no
you can't take me away from my potatoes I'm gonna be out in 30 days you can't
hold me just like I can't hold in this Segway to our sponsor Zoho one if you
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