WEBVTT

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Yes sirree Bob, my friends.

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In today's video, the young whippersnappers in our audience

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are gonna have a look at how the previous generation lived

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because believe it or not,

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we did have your mobile computers.

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It's just that to say that they weren't quite as sleek

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and sexy as a modern Ultrabook

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would be a gross understatement.

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So step one, I guess, is to get this puppy booted up.

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Now, this might not stand out to some of you,

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but one of the first things I noticed about this thing

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is the power cord.

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Fascinating, isn't it?

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It's just a normal power cord.

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There's no external power brick.

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This thing has an internal power supply.

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Are you kidding me?

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All right, I'm gonna get this plugged in.

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Now, Brian, the electrician,

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who I borrowed this thing from,

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he's got like a tech museum in his basement, that guy.

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He actually told me the battery on this thing does work,

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but lithium batteries don't age very well.

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So I'd be surprised if it stays on longer

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than a couple minutes.

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So we're gonna run off wall power here.

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This is like so exciting.

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He also told me that he preloaded my favorite game on it,

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which I don't remember talking to him

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about retro games at any point.

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So let's see what he put on here.

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Wow.

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Is that 80 megs of RAM?

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That's actually pretty respectable

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for a computer of this era.

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I mean, it's not amazing, but it's okay, you know?

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Windows 95.

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So that makes this thing significantly older than Jake.

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Like we literally have people working here

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who are younger than this laptop.

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I haven't heard that sound in so long.

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All right.

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So this is it.

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This is the desktop experience.

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Does it go any brighter?

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No, it does not.

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Wow.

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That is not a fantastic display.

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So I just wanted to check that RAM amount

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and I realized I don't actually remember

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how to access task manager in Windows 95.

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You can't just right click the task bar.

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Monitors the system resources your programs are using.

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Like any program, the resource meter uses system resources,

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when it's running.

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This may cause your computer to run more slowly.

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Isn't that great?

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Back when we had like 100 megahertz CPUs,

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your computer would warn you

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about opening up resource monitor

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because it could affect your resource consumption.

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Wow.

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That is a fairly rudimentary resource meter.

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Well, your system resources, they're 86% free.

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As for your user resources, same thing.

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Why don't we try one of the other similar looking things?

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Here.

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How about system monitor?

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Okay, that's more like it.

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So we are using about 40 megs of RAM on what?

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We don't know.

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I tried to two finger swipe to scroll

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and all I did was move my icons around.

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Just like, yeah, yeah, sure.

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You know what?

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It gives you an appreciation for, you know,

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modern grid arrangements

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and everything snapping into place, right?

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How big is our drive?

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Wow.

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Four gigs.

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Fat 32 storage.

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Isn't that beautiful?

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I mean, to put that in context,

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this Ultrabook has four times that in system memory.

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All right.

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So we're fired up.

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Let's get into what Brian thinks is my favorite game.

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And actually, okay.

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There's no way he would have guessed this,

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but I actually played so many hours of 1602 AD

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back when the only gaming computer I had was a Pentium,

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the 90 desktop that I inherited from my uncle.

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Is the sound on?

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If you don't happen to have something playing

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while you're making adjustments,

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you can press down for a test tone.

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I'm gonna need a mouse though,

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in order to play this game.

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USB didn't come around until Windows 98 SE,

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if I recall correctly.

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This laptop doesn't have USB.

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Actually, no, hold on.

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Okay.

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My pinky.

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So that's labeled mouse keyboard.

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That is a PS2 port.

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And I happen to have in my bag of wonders,

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a PS2 to USB adapter.

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I'm gonna have to go digging deeper into the bag of wonders

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and see if I have a PS2 mouse.

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Okay, well, we didn't find a PS2 mouse,

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but I did find a ball mouse with USB.

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So I am hoping that this will...

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Not bad.

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Yes, my friends,

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these were great for all sorts of things.

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Picking up all the dust off your desk

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and putting it in one convenient place

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to be picked off and disposed of later.

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Throwing these nice heavy rubber balls

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at people you didn't like.

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Oh man, got like hair and gunk wrapped around this.

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Before I settle in for my nostalgic gaming session though,

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actually, why don't we like take a closer look at this thing?

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It's got some real problems compared to modern computers.

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These bezels take up like as much of the top of the unit

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as the freaking screen does.

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They're so big.

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This touch pad is abominable.

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Though with that said,

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I do appreciate the inclusion

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of dedicated left and right clicks here.

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Speakers suck.

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And this thing is freaking heavy.

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Like it is, it is chunky.

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Like you were carrying a briefcase if you had one of these,

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but it has some advantages compared to modern devices.

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So even though we weren't really able to plug in our,

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you know, modern mouse to it very easily,

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it's still a pretty good thing.

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And the audio on this thing is substantial.

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So check this out.

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You've got your floppy disc reader.

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You've got not one, but two PCMCIA expansion slots.

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So these could actually be used back in the day

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to add new ports to laptops.

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Go figure, right?

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We've got our RJ11 modem port.

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We've got the PS2 port we ended up using.

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Check this out.

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That my friends, yes, that is infrared.

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I believe though,

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instead of being used as just like a remote control

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or to like control your TV,

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this was actually for wireless data transmission.

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Yeah, I know, right?

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We've got our printer port.

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We've got a dock port, VGA out, serial.

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And then, oh, moving around.

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Finally, my ARM is like actually falling asleep,

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holding this thing up like this.

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We've got our CD-ROM drive.

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And finally, headphone microphone jacks.

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Yes, my friend,

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headphone jack and check this out.

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Here's a feature you haven't seen in a while.

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A removable battery.

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Now, I mean, 2.7 amp hours.

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That is not a lot.

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And it obviously isn't gonna work very well anymore,

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but hey, it had it.

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Oh wow, seriously?

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When there's an auto run,

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you can't click anything behind it.

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Multitasking.

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There's so many things.

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I completely take for granted these days.

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All right, let's fire up some Corel WordPerfect.

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So back to the things that are good about it.

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This keyboard is amazing.

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Compared to modern keyboards,

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you might as well have a mechanical keyboard in your laptop.

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Like this is flipping awesome.

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The layout's great.

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It's got dedicated keys for home and page up, page down.

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It's got, look at this travel.

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Listen to that.

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Like that.

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That is a laptop keyboard.

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And check this out.

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It's even got remappable shortcut buttons.

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Like come on, 1996 wasn't such a bad time.

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I mean, yeah, there's no Windows key.

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You know what though?

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1602 actually can be run on relatively modern machines.

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And there is a game that I legitimately have not played

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since like 2002 when the classroom computers

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actually ran Windows 95, Windows 98.

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And it's called Liero.

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Unfortunately, getting it seems

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like it might be a little tricky.

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So a lot of you might not realize this,

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but check this out.

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Windows 95 is actually pre like

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the blue Internet Explorer icon.

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This is when like Internet Explorer was the name

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because it was Internet Mail, Internet News,

00:09:41.260 --> 00:09:43.520
and Internet Explorer.

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What does Internet News even look like?

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What do you, please select a folder

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where Internet Mail should keep your message up.

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What are you even talking about?

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Internet News is the best way to keep your messages online.

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news configuration.

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Holy crap.

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So we're gonna have to download the game separately

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and then just copy it over to here,

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except one small problem.

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Even though the game is small enough

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to fit on a single floppy disk,

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I don't have any floppy disks.

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Does this pop out?

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Is this floppy drive removable?

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Holy crap it is.

00:10:19.640 --> 00:10:21.240
There must be like a catch somewhere for it.

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It definitely, anyway.

00:10:22.460 --> 00:10:27.460
Also, RJ45 was considered a fancy pants feature back then.

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None of that.

00:10:28.540 --> 00:10:32.580
And of course, even if Windows 95 did support USB storage,

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it doesn't have any USB ports.

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And Wi-Fi, oh, forget about it.

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That was still a twinkle in the eye

00:10:39.780 --> 00:10:40.840
of an engineer somewhere.

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Like that, that's not a thing.

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I'll be right back.

00:10:46.130 --> 00:10:49.350
Fortunately, what is a thing

00:10:49.350 --> 00:10:53.350
is this old external CD burner that I have.

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And this spindle of CDRs

00:10:58.310 --> 00:10:59.870
that I happen to have kicking around.

00:10:59.870 --> 00:11:04.550
Like I still remember, when if you had a CD burner,

00:11:04.550 --> 00:11:07.470
you were the coolest kid in class.

00:11:07.470 --> 00:11:12.250
Like, yeah, they were slow and the software was atrocious.

00:11:12.250 --> 00:11:15.570
Also, the blank disks were expensive.

00:11:15.570 --> 00:11:19.310
So when a burn failed, it was like actually a big deal.

00:11:19.310 --> 00:11:22.130
Like, okay, there goes a few more dollars, great.

00:11:22.130 --> 00:11:23.130
Thanks for that.

00:11:23.130 --> 00:11:28.130
but you could move a whopping 650 megabytes of data

00:11:30.490 --> 00:11:34.160
in between machines or store it safely.

00:11:34.160 --> 00:11:38.430
And that is exactly what we are gonna do.

00:11:38.430 --> 00:11:41.290
Now, I don't actually have burning software installed

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on this laptop because why would I?

00:11:45.950 --> 00:11:50.950
But I seem to recall Microsoft building it in at some point.

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Okay, how do you wanna use this disc?

00:11:53.390 --> 00:11:57.570
With a CD, DVD player, Riero.

00:11:57.570 --> 00:12:01.480
Manage, finish burning.

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Okay, I'm burning a CD.

00:12:11.310 --> 00:12:14.000
It's been a while.

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Now, when I say these things were slow,

00:12:15.780 --> 00:12:17.100
like I really mean it.

00:12:17.100 --> 00:12:19.960
I'm going at a speed that is about eight times

00:12:19.960 --> 00:12:21.640
what we would have had back then

00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:23.820
in the early days of CD burning.

00:12:23.820 --> 00:12:26.480
I'm only writing like a mega files

00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:27.780
and it's still taking this long

00:12:27.780 --> 00:12:29.820
because there was the preamble

00:12:29.820 --> 00:12:32.920
and the like the finishing process

00:12:32.920 --> 00:12:34.080
that had to be done on the disc

00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:36.620
regardless of how much you wrote to it.

00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:38.480
So let's see if this works.

00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.690
Fortunately, if it didn't,

00:12:40.690 --> 00:12:41.930
I've got this whole spindle

00:12:41.930 --> 00:12:46.210
that definitely is not earmarked for any other purpose.

00:12:46.210 --> 00:12:48.190
So Brian must have actually burned this for me.

00:12:48.190 --> 00:12:49.920
That's awesome.

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Thanks, dude.

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Hey, there we go.

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Holy crap, I think it worked.

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Liero Windows 98.

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Give her a second here.

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Gotta ramp up that disc.

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Okay, is this gonna work?

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Oh, IRQ5.

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Extended memory successfully initialized.

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Press any key.

00:13:12.920 --> 00:13:17.920
Oh yeah, Liero V1.33, baby.

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Hey, Jake, you wanna play some Liero?

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Liero.

00:13:23.970 --> 00:13:25.850
So it's local multiplayer only.

00:13:25.850 --> 00:13:27.810
Oh, so am I like WASD and you're?

00:13:28.990 --> 00:13:30.730
Well, you're RFDG

00:13:30.730 --> 00:13:33.730
and then you need fire, change weapons, and jump.

00:13:33.730 --> 00:13:36.210
If it helps at all, mine's really not much better.

00:13:36.210 --> 00:13:39.180
So there's a mini map down here.

00:13:39.180 --> 00:13:40.740
Wait, I think I played this before.

00:13:40.740 --> 00:13:42.180
Nah, there's a way to dig fast.

00:13:42.180 --> 00:13:43.200
Ah, there it is.

00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:44.320
You hold the direction you wanna go

00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:45.400
and then you press back.

00:13:45.400 --> 00:13:47.000
So you, like, you spam back.

00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.260
I think this keyboard has ghosting issues.

00:13:49.260 --> 00:13:50.460
Oh, I see.

00:13:50.460 --> 00:13:55.540
So only one of us can like dig at a time.

00:13:55.540 --> 00:13:57.580
Just get some explosives going on up in this biz.

00:13:57.580 --> 00:13:58.740
I'm stuck, oh no.

00:13:58.740 --> 00:13:59.580
Oh crap.

00:14:00.420 --> 00:14:03.260
That was not what I meant to do.

00:14:03.260 --> 00:14:05.900
Oh, get slaughtered.

00:14:05.900 --> 00:14:08.120
That slow reload is killing me here.

00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:09.560
No, I can't even aim.

00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:10.400
Oh no.

00:14:10.400 --> 00:14:11.240
Oh, right, the hook shot.

00:14:11.240 --> 00:14:12.080
What?

00:14:12.540 --> 00:14:13.380
I can't change my weapons

00:14:13.380 --> 00:14:14.600
because you're holding down keys.

00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:15.920
Yes.

00:14:15.920 --> 00:14:16.760
No.

00:14:16.760 --> 00:14:17.600
This is a match.

00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:18.780
I can't change my weapon.

00:14:18.780 --> 00:14:20.810
Nah, you're done.

00:14:20.810 --> 00:14:23.550
We have 14 lives, we're gonna be here all day.

00:14:23.550 --> 00:14:24.970
Yeah, when you're better at the game

00:14:24.970 --> 00:14:26.110
and the controls are working,

00:14:26.110 --> 00:14:27.830
it actually goes pretty quick.

00:14:27.830 --> 00:14:30.070
Oh, the grasshopper's really powerful.

00:14:30.070 --> 00:14:32.390
What the hell?

00:14:32.390 --> 00:14:33.970
Okay, next point wins, I guess.

00:14:33.970 --> 00:14:34.850
Yeah.

00:14:34.850 --> 00:14:36.080
Shoot.

00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:38.720
I shouldn't have said that.

00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:39.560
And I'm done.

00:14:39.560 --> 00:14:40.540
Thanks, bud.

00:14:40.540 --> 00:14:42.660
Now, one of the other things I used my laptop for

00:14:42.660 --> 00:14:44.940
when I was a teenager was looking at pictures.

00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:49.940
So the problem, though, is that when you...

00:14:51.490 --> 00:14:55.870
Did that just use Internet Explorer to open a picture?

00:14:55.870 --> 00:14:57.050
It did.

00:14:57.050 --> 00:15:02.340
It is downloading it from the CD-ROM drive.

00:15:02.340 --> 00:15:03.300
Give her a minute.

00:15:05.900 --> 00:15:07.240
Oh, yeah, there it goes.

00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:08.160
She's loading.

00:15:08.160 --> 00:15:09.440
She's loading in.

00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:13.320
Skin tones were really not handled very well

00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:15.060
on the default setting.

00:15:15.060 --> 00:15:16.880
So you can hardly tell

00:15:16.880 --> 00:15:18.020
because the display is so bad,

00:15:18.020 --> 00:15:19.320
but if you zoom in on this,

00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:25.270
can you tell how little color depth there is to this thing?

00:15:25.270 --> 00:15:26.110
Yeah, it's pretty bad.

00:15:26.110 --> 00:15:29.420
Look at it, like, loading in on the edges of the frame

00:15:29.420 --> 00:15:30.260
as you...

00:15:30.260 --> 00:15:31.100
Did you see that?

00:15:31.100 --> 00:15:32.130
Yeah.

00:15:32.130 --> 00:15:32.990
Oh, it's spectacular.

00:15:32.990 --> 00:15:37.400
Now, fortunately, many older computers,

00:15:37.400 --> 00:15:38.520
if you went into the properties,

00:15:38.520 --> 00:15:40.600
much like you would today,

00:15:40.600 --> 00:15:42.760
allowed you to, here we go,

00:15:42.760 --> 00:15:47.790
change the color palette from the default 256 to high color

00:15:48.030 --> 00:15:50.310
or even true color.

00:15:50.310 --> 00:15:51.810
Now, with that said,

00:15:51.810 --> 00:15:54.590
that didn't actually seem to do much for me.

00:15:54.590 --> 00:15:56.250
And it might've been Windows 98

00:15:56.250 --> 00:16:00.580
where they had a built-in picture viewer.

00:16:00.580 --> 00:16:02.020
Can I open this with something else?

00:16:02.020 --> 00:16:03.720
Like, is this something that's been altered?

00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:05.300
Yeah, this is clearly no better.

00:16:05.300 --> 00:16:08.060
The bottleneck here may actually be the display.

00:16:08.060 --> 00:16:10.560
You guys will just have to take my word for it.

00:16:10.560 --> 00:16:13.100
16 or better yet, 24-bit color

00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:15.760
was definitely a much better experience

00:16:15.760 --> 00:16:17.900
when looking at pictures on your laptop.

00:16:17.900 --> 00:16:20.600
A better representation of skin tones, for sure.

00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:23.700
That is assuming that your dial-up internet connection

00:16:23.700 --> 00:16:27.360
could even download anything high res, high color.

00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.410
I think that's enough of me fooling around with this thing.

00:16:30.410 --> 00:16:35.300
Let's get down to business and play some 1602 AD.

00:16:35.300 --> 00:16:36.640
Is the sound not working?

00:16:36.640 --> 00:16:44.240
Did that turn it off or something?

00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.660
It's not a form of DRM or anything.

00:16:46.660 --> 00:16:50.440
It's just that the sound assets were too big

00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:52.560
to actually copy over to the hard drive.

00:16:52.560 --> 00:16:54.960
In-game music wouldn't work without the disk in.

00:16:57.320 --> 00:16:58.700
Let's go ahead and close down the program.

00:16:58.700 --> 00:17:01.360
Try that one more time.

00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.060
Isn't that great?

00:17:03.060 --> 00:17:09.140
Single player.

00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:10.320
Oh, lame.

00:17:10.320 --> 00:17:13.120
The yellow and blue player got big ships to start.

00:17:13.120 --> 00:17:15.900
So settling a Southern island is good late game

00:17:15.900 --> 00:17:18.160
because you've got like cotton and all that kind of stuff,

00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:19.780
but actually Northern islands

00:17:19.780 --> 00:17:22.140
were better for food production.

00:17:22.140 --> 00:17:24.160
We have to explore the island.

00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:27.380
One moment, please.

00:17:27.380 --> 00:17:30.760
Ooh, cocoa and cotton, 100% yield.

00:17:31.940 --> 00:17:33.540
Oh, and there's ore!

00:17:33.540 --> 00:17:34.260
There we go.

00:17:34.260 --> 00:17:38.160
Build a warehouse.

00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.780
The controls are like so unintuitive.

00:17:41.780 --> 00:17:46.840
Man, I might go home tonight and like legit play this game.

00:17:46.840 --> 00:17:49.780
Let's get a Forester's hut going on over here.

00:17:49.780 --> 00:17:52.840
I won't subject you guys to any more of that though.

00:17:52.840 --> 00:17:54.300
So that's pretty much it.

00:17:54.300 --> 00:17:58.960
That's a look at not the laptop that I owned as a kid,

00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:02.400
but one that is pretty darn close.

00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:06.520
It was a hand-me-down actually from my half sister's dad.

00:18:06.520 --> 00:18:07.000
So it was all-in-one.

00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:09.320
It was already worthless then,

00:18:09.320 --> 00:18:11.500
and it's even more worthless now.

00:18:11.500 --> 00:18:12.740
Well, thanks for watching you guys.

00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:16.840
Thanks to Brian for giving me this old clunker of a laptop

00:18:16.840 --> 00:18:18.180
to play with here.

00:18:18.180 --> 00:18:20.660
And if you guys enjoyed the video,

00:18:20.660 --> 00:18:22.140
you can hit that like button.

00:18:22.140 --> 00:18:24.040
If you really enjoyed it, you can hit subscribe.

00:18:24.040 --> 00:18:26.200
If you disliked it, well, you can also hit that button.

00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:27.760
But we're gonna have, wow,

00:18:27.760 --> 00:18:29.620
I did my entire outro out of order, whatever.

00:18:29.620 --> 00:18:33.620
Go buy merch and join our forum.

00:18:33.620 --> 00:18:34.460
Yes.