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my friends say they'd watch my tech news today so I'm just gonna wait and until

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they text me before I starting yeah any minute now

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apple is preparing to allow third-party app stores in iOS in European countries

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they get all the best stuff according to a report from Bloomberg who reports on

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all the best stuff the trillion dollar company had a real change of heart oh

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I'm sorry I read that wrong it's in response to a new law who would have

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guessed it Tech just does whatever it wants in North America the eu's digital

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markets act defines companies that meet certain criteria as Gatekeepers which

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are uncool in 2022 and places certain requirements on these Gatekeepers such

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as making sure third-party apps are accessible and for any first party

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messaging services to be interoperable with other services and not to let

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Aragorn into Mordor now we just need to regulate the gaslighters what is this

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like second degree hecklers over here don't get too excited about being able

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to play Tim Cook sexy dress up 20 to 22 on your iPad just yet while the law goes

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into effect in 2023 companies don't have to comply until 2024. what's more Apple

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will have to meet the Law's criteria for gatekeeper and apple will probably fight

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to keep their 30 store commission until the very last possible moment because

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their cool kids think different and if there's one Hill Tim Cook would be

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willing to die on it'll be the one that's made out of money in news that

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will shock no one who watches this YouTube thinks they can do a better job

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at moderating comments you're kidding we think so too the company announced two

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days ago that they are working on improving their automated detection

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systems and machine learning models to identify and remove spam very Facebook

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sounding they further stated that they've improved their detection to keep

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Bots out of live chat so now you can rest easy knowing the account that made

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you cry is a real person

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but wait there's more our YouTube is adding a feature to warn users when

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their comments have been removed and if you keep being naughty you'll receive a

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24-hour timeout and coal in your stalking the timeout length comes from

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the standard practice of making the number of hours of the timeout equal to

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the number of years that you've disappointed your parents

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speaking of bad reputations apparently YouTube's parent company Google or

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alphabet I guess it's both uh has stated that they won't launch a rival to open

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ai's chat GPT chatbot because of the reputational risk the technology poses

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or maybe they figure that before they can teach an AI about the entire world

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they should figure out how to teach a bunch of keyboard Warriors that bullying

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strangers on the Internet is bad it's one of those jokes that deliver without

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understanding it can you tell you can always kind of tell scientists

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at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory claim to have carried out the first nuclear fusion experiment to

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achieve ignition meaning that the reaction created more energy than it

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took to start it the closest we've come to achieving ignition before this was

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when the remix released in 2002.

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don't listen to it though can't give a rapist royalties

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the facility used 192 lasers to deliver

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2.05 megajoules of energy onto a gold

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cylinder which you can buy just joking the size of a pea that contained a

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frozen cap tool of hydrogen the laser

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sent beams into either end of the cylinder causing x-rays not to be

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confused with all the people named Rey I've previously dated

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to be radiated from the cylinder and compress the capsule into a fusion

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reaction according to nuclear scientist and Fred Rogers if he were a scientist

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Marv Adams is there a picture of this guy

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the reaction created 3.15 megajoules in

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less than the time it would take for light to travel one inch

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redefining what we mean by romance explosion while we haven't made Fusion

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reactors or reality yet we are a huge leap closer than we were before I

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deliver this Tech news eventually Fusion won't just be for stars it'll be from

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normal hard-working people too history of the proletariats now it's time for

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quick bits brought to you by brilliant a Hands-On and interactive way to learn

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stem topics brilliant offers thousands of lessons with new topics to learn each

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month like their computer science fundamentals course their services can

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be used to supplement a college education or you can use it if getting

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smart is just a passion of yours after all if you don't understand the basics

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behind a problem where do you even start your troubleshooting and if you can't

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answer that the foundational logic course might be for you the first 200

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people that head to brilliant.org Tech link will get 20 off an annual premium

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subscription I think that deal is Bri very good so go ahead get smart quick

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bits don't last very long and they're insecure about it stop bringing it up

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meta is facing a two billion dollar lawsuit for allegedly failing to

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moderate violent posts in Ethiopia see what I said before the son of Ethiopian

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academic Professor marang Amar Abra my

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best who was killed last year after being attacked and doxed in Facebook

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posts has filed a lawsuit in keny's High Court internal documents have shown that

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Facebook knew about the post but failed to take them down before they were used

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to Target the professor you guys don't get it though they really needed to work

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on the metaverse it's really important in much lighter news steam gaming has

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come to Tesla's a holiday update now

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allows 2022 models s and x with 16

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gigabytes of memory to run basically any game that's been verified to run well on

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the steam deck maybe this will bring Tesla stock prices up since their drop

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in value cost Elon his spot as world's richest person

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if there's anything that boosts stock values it's distracted driving why crash

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your game when you can crash your car too the Elon jet Twitter account that

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famously tracked musk's air travel in real time has been suspended

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another win for the big guy Elon previously offered the operator of the

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account five grand to delete the account which he pisses every morning I don't

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want to picture that I guess instead of upping the deal Elon decided to drop 44

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billion on Twitter and just remove it himself except that last month Elon

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tweeted he wouldn't take the account down because of his commitment to free

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speech does that mean changing your mind is even Freer speech what you want to

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stop people from changing their mind okay Pol Pot a laundry list of

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celebrities are being sued for promoting the board ape Yacht Club nfts remember

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those a class action alleges that these

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celebrities were paid to promote the pictures and not disclose that paid

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promotion in an episode of The Tonight Show Jimmy Fallon and Paris Hilton

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created the most uncomfortable 77 seconds on television by talking about

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their personal monkey pictures

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turns out that was an ad no not for the

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nfts it was for Cyanide

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apparently multi-million dollar companies like Square Enix can't even

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afford stock image fees Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII reunion came out

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yesterday and fans found a picture with a Getty Images watermark on it

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apparently the images of painting from 1881 that was stretched to fit in its

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virtual frame I've never felt better about my Photoshop skills than I do

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right now oh you're fired and you'll never feel better than when you come

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back on Friday for more Tech news we're like a big loving family that

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never touches or talks in Life or texts me to tell me that they're not going to

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be able to watch the show we did it anyway

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pull pot thank you