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Oo, your chart does not look very good.

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I see here you're diabetic, so you might just need insulin. But I'm a bit of a

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wild card, Gregory House type, so I'm

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going to prescribe you more tech news. That'll help. Asus and NVIDIA are

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scrambling to set the record straight on rumors about the RTX 5070Ti and 5060 Ti

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disappearing from your local computer store. Yesterday, GPU lovers panicked

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after Hardware Unboxed reported that according to multiple retailers and

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board partners, the RTX 5070Ti and 5060Ti have been effectively killed off

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and that no more shipments were coming. That quickly snowballed into headlines

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declaring the cards to be dead and speculation that NVIDIA had pulled the

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plug entirely due to soaring memory prices. However, this morning, Asus

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publicly contradicted the narrative, stating that RTX 5070 Ti and 560 Ti

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products were not cancelled and that some people may have received incomplete

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information from an ASUS PR representative regarding these products.

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He was just practicing for an improv show. He was just riffing. He thought

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they knew that. NVIDIA followed up with its own statement saying they continue

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to ship all GeForce SKUs and are working closely with our suppliers to maximize

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memory availability. Although that doesn't actually verify if more memory

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is going towards gaming cards or not. Regardless of the actual truth though,

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what is clear is that the GPU situation is going to suck for gamers here for a

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little bit. New leaks surfaced yesterday claiming that NVIDIA may reduce their

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overall GPU supply by as much as 20%

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with no new GeForce GPU models expected

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until well into 2027. Hey, remember when you could buy a GPU at MSRP for like a

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couple of months in 2025? It's already fading. I feel like everyone should take

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out their current graphics card and give it a little kiss to let it know you

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appreciate it. You'll be working the gaming minds a bit longer yet, old boy.

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Chin up. The US government announced on Wednesday that they would take a 25% cut

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of both NVIDIA and AMD's AI chip sales

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to China, which was promptly followed by China quietly telling its own companies

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not to buy them. But that's neither here nor there. But we're just learning now

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how restrictive those US export rules are. In order for this scheme to work,

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Team Red and Green must first import the chips from the manufacturers in Asia to

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the US, put them through first and third party evaluations, and then re-export

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them to China after paying the government that 25% tariff. What a

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totally normal and cool and not weird or shady thing to do. NVIDIA stated that

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this arrangement strikes a thoughtful balance that is great for America. And

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AMD said that it complied with all US export laws and policies. Why do NVIDIA

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and AMD sound like they own a grocery store in a mob run neighborhood? Pretty

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nice computer chip company you got here. It'd be a shame if something

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happened to it. I don't. [laughter] The Department of Commerce requirements also

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state that exporters must prove domestic US demand is fully met first and total

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shipments to China cannot exceed 50% of what's sold to American customers.

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effectively treating China as a market for leftovers and not in the nice

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Thanksgiving way either. Turkey sandwiches for weeks. Chinese

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manufacturers have taken advantage of this with companies like Huawei,

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Cambracon, never heard of them, that's a fun name, and more threads projected to

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capture roughly 80% of local demand. As

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a result of these restrictions, NVIDIA's share of China's AI processor market is

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predicted to decline from 66% in 2024 to

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just 8% this year, which is a big problem for Jensen Wong's plans for his

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jacket collection. You'll have to imagine the cotton balls. Look how they

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massacred my boy. I know it was you, Huawei. That's not a godfather.

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[laughter] Haven't seen the movie in a while. Hey, you know who it definitely wasn't

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actually stick with it. Plus, YOU'VE GOT BOOTS, THE AI bear wizard tutor to guide

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you, plus the training grounds for unlimited practice because writing a lot

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of code is what the pros do. Hey, unrelated side note. Median salaries for

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back-end devs are over 100K and many jobs are remote. Huh, didn't know that.

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year depending on the subscription you choose. That's magical. Here at the Tech

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News Hospital, our lady of tech news, we use Quickbits to defibrillate our

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patients. The little bastards WILL SHOCK YOU RIGHT OUT OF YOUR SMOCK. Google is

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rolling out personal intelligence for Google Gemini, letting the assistant

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connect Gmail, photos, YouTube, and search to answer questions based on your

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own personal data. It's currently a US-only beta, and most importantly, it

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is an optin program. So, while it may be

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an unsettling reminder of just how well Google has profiled your entire life,

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having an AI actually be able to use that data to be useful

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is a small win. Does the Twitter claims it has implemented technological

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measures to prevent Grock from undressing images of real people, at

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least in jurisdictions where such content is illegal. Everywhere else is

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me. The Verge tested the geob blocking's effectiveness in the UK and they were

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able to bypass it in less than a minute. Grock still complied with requests to

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show cleavage, make breasts bigger, put subjects in crop tops and low-rise

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shorts, and do sexualized poses, all using free accounts protected only by a

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simple age checkbox. I guess a checkbox [music] counts as a technological

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measure. It uses technology. Malaysia and Indonesia have now fully blocked

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Grock. The Philippines says it will follow within the week once they catch

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the little guy. And the UK's offcom investigation continues. And I think I

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speak for everyone stuck on the outofcrol carnival ride that is this

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story when I say I've barfed up the churo I ate earlier and I want to get

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off. TSMC reported record fourth quarter earnings with $16 billion in net income,

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up 35% year-over-year. and CEO CC Wei

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said AI chip demand looks endless for years to come. Immediately after saying

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that, he scrambled to find some wood to knock on. When asked if Intel Foundry

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poses a threat, we said competitors can't beat TSMC by throwing capital at

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advanced chip processes, a likely reference to the US government's $ 8.9

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billion investment in Intel. Meanwhile, AMD and Intel are reportedly considering

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raising server CPU prices by up to 15%

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after both companies sold out their 2026 inventories. Hooray for them. Wikipedia

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announced that Microsoft, Meta, Amazon, Perplexity, and Mistral AI have all

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signed API access deals through Wikipdia Enterprise to gain high volume data

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access for training their AI models. The deals come as a slap in the face to

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every high school teacher in the world who spent 25 years screaming at their

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students that Wikipedia is not a valid SOURCE OF INFORMATION. WHO'S NOT

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APPLYING THEMSELVES NOW, MR. GILLIS? [gasps and sighs]

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Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales said he welcomes AI training on Wikipedia

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because it's human curated. He added, "I

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wouldn't really want to use an AI that's trained only on X. You know, like a very

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angry AI." So now we can all look forward to AIs asking us once a year to

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please donate 275 because if everyone did that then they'd be able to keep

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making slop for a million years. Please consider security researchers found a

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nasty flaw they dubbed whisper pair in Google's fast pair system that lets

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attackers silently hijack Bluetooth headphones and speakers. Because many

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accessories ignore the only pair when asked rule, a nearby attacker can force

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a connection, blast audio, eaves drop through built-in mics, or even track

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users via Google's Find My Network. And the bug affects millions of devices

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across multiple brands and platforms. Patches are beginning to roll out, but

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those are on a per device manufacturer basis, meaning that this isn't something

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that can be blocked by just turning the feature off on your phone. So remember,

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when you put your headphones on, someone might be listening. So, make sure you

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say hi to them and wish them a happy rest of their day. And researchers from

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the University of Tokyo have developed a technique that could replace blood draws

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with glowing green skin. By injecting bioluminescent material that reacts to

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specific biomarkers like inflammation, doctors can read health data visually

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through the skin using specialized imaging. No needles required. The glow

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changes intensity based on what's happening inside your body, offering a

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swanky, colorful new way of monitoring your body via random glowy spots,

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>> also known as aura. >> And yes, this means we can all be freaky

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little guys just like ET. His finger glowed, too. And all you freaky little

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guys got to come back on Monday for more tech news. In the meantime, I have a few

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more tech news patients to help. You'd be shocked at how many AI waifu related

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injuries we see. I bet my glow stick.

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[laughter] >> I need someone to look at it. Only four

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more hours until the night shift rotation.

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Okay, see you
